tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99777652024-03-23T14:15:06.907-04:00Pass The PotatoesA blog about self-discovery, politics, and general awesomeness.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.comBlogger701125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-82543510948686474872011-03-04T10:48:00.002-05:002011-03-04T11:09:13.079-05:00That Dancing ThingIn May last year I started to take ballroom dancing lessons. Years ago, when swing was having something of a revival, I took a couple of group lessons and really enjoyed it. When I was in Ashburn I toyed with the idea of picking up lessons again but never got around to it. After a nice big fail trying to dance at a wedding I decided to pick it up again. The person I was dating at the time enjoyed dancing so that was a motivation as well, truth be told.<br /><br />It turns out I have something of an aptitude to it. Either that or my teachers are blowing smoke up my ass. Either way, I have been having fun doing it. My background in music really helps as it allows me to pick out the beat and understand phrasing. Sometimes the phrasing thing is annoying during group classes because everyone else starts and I'm waiting for the beginning of the phrase.<br /><br />Anyway I have mixed feelings about this and it comes from my own crap. On one hand, the ladies like to dance so that is a bonus. On the other, and this is stupid but I can't get it out of my head, dancing isn't exactly a manly pursuit. Man, I feel like such a sell out putting voice to this but there is is in my head none the less. I probably just need to grow up. What is the point of this blog if I'm not honest though, right?<br /><br />So each week I go through these doubts of wanting to pursue it. It is a cultural thing, no doubt. But it is holding me back from embracing it more. Boo cultural prejudices. I'll grow out of it eventually.<br /><br />Moving on. The school I go to, Arthur Murray Dance Studio, is a world wide dealio that has been around forever. I pay up the butt for it but with the rate I get private lessons, up to four group classes a week, and two big ass dance practice party things each week. Last month I decided to throw myself more into the dance thing. I end up doing some 3 to 6 hours of class/practice a week. Nuts.<br /><br />Meh, running out of steam on this post. The nutshell is I'm really starting to enjoy it as I get more confident. Good times.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-31046507169889976202011-03-01T11:33:00.002-05:002011-03-01T12:14:48.968-05:00Love and Caffeinated BeveragesBeen awhile since I posted. I used to blog quite a bit because it filled a need in my life. With the advent of Facebook I've gotten away from this since Facebook filled that need to a degree. But over time I've found that I still need a forum for ranting in more than a single paragraph so might as well crank up this Wurlitzer once more.<br /><br />Before I get into love I'd like to say a few words about caffeinated beverages. They are the devil. More to the point, they are the devil that most be embraced. I don't want to rely on caffeine to be productive yet when I have it I'm like super productive man doing the work of 10 Ryans. So since I don't drink a lot of it I have little tolerance for it; just a little hits me like a truck. Additionally, I don't like the taste of coffee. I drink mochas when I have anything at all which is just chocolate in a cup with some coffee in there somewhere. Finally, if I have too much my heart lets me know about it by palpating and such. If you have never experienced palpitations they suck.<br /><br />I tell you all that to tell you this. I am slowly drinking a bit more each week. I hope not to get to a point where I have to have my pot a day in order to function at all. Rather I am trying to use it strategically. I fear that will just be my gateway into becoming another automaton in the coffee addicted world in which we live. <br /><br />Right, so, love. A relationship I had for about 8 months or so ended really on New Year's day, although it didn't really end formally until a few weeks after. I do not regret the relationship at all. It expanded my world and was fun pretending to live a lifestyle I couldn't afford once a month or so. The relationship was long distance which poses a lot of unique challenges. Chief among those is the times when we were together had a lot of pressure to be perfect and when it wasn't the problems were just magnified. I think what ultimately happened is that both fell in love with a conception of who we each were and the potential of what the relationship could be rather than the reality of it. It had been clear to me from the beginning that as long as we talked through issues we would be alright but if we ever got to a point where we didn't talk that would be it. In the end our undoing was when we stopped talking and working through problems after New Years. <br /><br />So from what seemed to be a very strong and solid relationship to single again quite abruptly was, well, pretty shitty. That we never talked on the phone and ended up ending it through IM I am torn about. On one side I think had we talked on the phone we might still be together and I'm not sure that would have been a good thing in the end. On the other side that we just gave up rather trying to work it out really goes against who I am and what I believe in when it comes to relationships. It was not from a lack of trying but both sides need to want to work through things. Can't really force healing.<br /><br />I think about the differences between long and short distance relationships and one of the conclusions I come to is that if I were to ever enter into a long term relationship again it would be key to spend at least a week together in the beginning to really get to know each other. A vacation together up front would be nice but even just one party or the other hanging around for a week while the other does their day-to-day thing would work. It is all about forming a more accurate image of who each of us are rather than an idealized image that is critical. When idealized images meet reality it is quite a shock, as I found out. Once you get to know each other better then it is just a matter of constant communication and willingness to talk about the differences in expectations and reality when they come up. That is true regardless of distance, with friends and lovers a like. Always and forever, communication is the key.<br /><br />Ok! Not bad for a come back post. Maybe I'll keep the momentum going. Commenting here or on Facebook about this post will help. ;)Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-70764197448192728802010-05-09T21:40:00.001-04:002010-05-09T21:40:58.805-04:00All I Wanted Was To Watch A MovieI went to see Iron Man 2 yesterday with my Dad and brother at a Cinema Draft House in the area. The place is old, was originally built way back in 1914 (http://www.oldtowntheater.com/history.htm). So we are sitting in our rather comfortable seats and this older gentlemen comes down in front and demands that everyone pay attention to him. He turns out to be the owner and then goes on to<br /><br />1) Berate the audience for not filling up the entire theater<br />2) Explain why the American soccer team will never win the world cup and how our style is too wishy-washy<br />3) Clap for our troops and explain how he was one of the last cowboy helicopter pilots and did two tours in 'Nam.<br />4) Taught us the importance of know which eye is your dominant eye and how to determine it including yelling at everyone to put there hand up so we could find out<br />5) Gave us his theory on why older people can't see while driving at night and tips for fixing that situation<br />6) A history lesson on the theater, how much he paid for it, and that he is retiring soon<br /><br />It had to be the single most surreal experience I have ever had at a movie theater. All I could do was thinking 'Am I going to have to go through this every time I come to this theater?'.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-13317775730381595732010-03-09T08:31:00.004-05:002010-03-09T08:58:04.761-05:00Adventures in Sailing! - TRYSTThis post went pretty long. The last part of it is the best part if you want to skip around.<br /><br />My first sail of the season took place this past Saturday aboard a 35-foot custom cruiser called the TRYST. The owner and captain of the boat bought her about a year ago after she circumnavigated the globe with her previous owners. The interior is beautiful, all dark wood that is probably a pain to keep clean. The exterior, in the words of his ex-gf, looks like a potato since it has a coach house (instead of a open cockpit) in the middle. <br /><br />Originally the trip was going to be a 10 hour day sail from Grasonville, MD (just over the Bay Bridge) to Annapolis and back. It was cold, about 40 degrees, with a north wind blowing around 18 knots or so. We were all bundled up pretty tightly.<br /><br />After we got out into the open I took the helm while the captain and one other tried to get the sails up. The headsail went up easy but the main was stuck. It took about 30 minutes or so to free it and series of 'perfectly executed technical maneuvers' that were neither perfectly executed nor very technical. Out of practice I am. <br /><br />Once we had the sails up it was pretty smooth until we were going to turn the corner into the main part of the Bay. I wasn't paying any attention to the GPS chart plotter and instead just looking at markers. What I didn't see was that we were smack dab in the middle of some shallows. The depth fell to 5' or so pretty quick so we were in immediate danger of being stuck. Luckily we were able to avoid that particular awesome situation.<br /><br />Then my best moment of ineptitude for the day happened. I wanted to tack and head toward Annapolis up the coast but the captain asked that I head towards the opposite shore first before we tacked. Tacking requires setting the sails differently and he wanted to keep it to a minimum if possible. Not being able to see the wind vane, how the sails were set, or feel the wind on my face it was hard to tell how close to he wind we were sailing. I assumed we were already pretty close so that turning any further north would cause us to tack so I kept us pointed in the direction we were heading in. Well, as it turns out I was wrong and we could have turned up into the wind something like 60 degrees more than we were. The net effect: we sailing south for 45 minutes rather than north west. So that was awesome.<br /><br />After the course correction we sailed for another couple of hours. At this point we had been out on the water for 7 hours or so, 6 of those hours under sail, when the wind decided it was done. It dropped from its awesome 18 knots to like 5 knots or so, which isn't much for my 5000 pound Catalina, let alone a 21,000 pound boat like TRYST. We decided to fly this huge parachute like sail called a drifter. Drifters are a pain to set; lots of things can go wrong. I put on a life vest since I was going to be up at the bow pulling the sail out of the bag. One nice puff at the wrong time and over I'd go. We had to pull the sail out of the bag and restuff it since it had been put back incorrectly. Once that was done and everything was hooked up properly the sail come up pretty easily. Pretty straight-forward really.<br /><br />Unfortunately, it didn't make a huge difference. At the piddly 3 knots of speed we were making we were 5 hours from anything. So after 30 minutes we made a decision to abandon going to Annapolis and instead head to Tangier Island back to the east under power. This required pulling the drifter down. It came down pretty easily luckily.<br /><br />So the next few hours were pretty uneventful. We made it to Tangier around 4 pm and found a restaurant about 1/2 mile away from where we docked. Good food, looked like a cool place during the warmer months. We made it back to the boat after dark and started the 3 hours trip under power back to the dock. Our eta was about midnight. Originally, we were to be back at 9 pm.<br /><br />After a somewhat eventful motoring involving mistaken lights, hard to find markers, and a car on a remote island that we argued about what it was for an hour, we were finally in the channel and could see the dock.<br /><br />The channel into the marina his boat resides in is very narrow and tricky. Compounded with the near impossible challenge of seeing day markers at night against a well lit shore line and you have a recipe for grounding. I was up on the bow trying to find a series of three markers that were very close together marking the narrowest part of the channel. The wind had picked up again so it was bitterly cold and the tide was coming in. We were able to pick out the markers and were between the three of them when I felt the engine cut out. The captain tried to restarting it several times but to no avail. We were adrift in the narrowest part of the channel being pushed towards a red day marker we had just passed.<br /><br />We dropped the anchor to give us time to look at the engine and try to get it started. After checking the usual suspects the Captain decided we needed to get a tow back to the dock that we could fricken see a mile away, if that. However, before that we had a more immediate problem. It turns out the anchor, while it stopped us from drifting, was let out too far and now we were slowly swinging towards a marker. Two of us pulled the anchor in tighter to try to get the bow to clear the marker but in doing so we pulled it up too far to where it started to slip. The captain made the call to just pull the anchor up all the way so we would slip past the marker and just get stuck in the mud instead. <br /><br />Well, we slipped past just fine. He called Tow Boat US - an adventure of its own - and we were told they would be there by 2 am. We all went down below to get warm and eat. Eventually we noticed we never did hit the mud and instead kept drifting further and further from the channel where the tow boat was going to look for us. So we set the anchor again and waited.<br /><br />Eventually the tow boat showed up and took us back to the dock. By the time it was all done and over my 10 hour day sail to Annapolis turning into an 18 hour adventure to Tangier Island. While it certainly wasn't my brightest point in sailing, I learned a lot and had a good time with it. The group was a fun bunch and we had enjoyed each others company. <br /><br />I also learned a few things, which is always good. The most reassuring thing was watching all the same crap that happens to me while docking, putting up sails, or just really anything was happening to a captain that had been sailing and building boats his entire life. Even experienced people crash into shit when docking. :)Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-65785126128687399072010-02-25T18:04:00.002-05:002010-02-25T18:31:00.990-05:00Sex!The last unit in my childhood development class was on sexuality and puberty. It has been bringing up a lot of unresolved issues for me from that time period and this post is going to be used to process them. It is definitely going to be an instance of To Much Information so you should stop reading now.<br /><br />Yeah, I didn't think you would stop.<br /><br />Anyway, it may come as a surprise that I was much more socially conservative as a youngin than I am now. I think a lot of it had to do with my peer group, being of the more nerdy side of things. (BTW, I find it hysterical that my spell checker accepts nerdy as a proper word). As most (all) people I had all sorts of confusing thoughts and self-esteem issues in my early teens. Questions of identity and self-confidence problems. I don't recall really having any lady friends, not close ones anyway, until my late teens. <br /><br />Discovering my Dads various videos and magazines as well as late night TV was how I dealt with the feelings of lust and such during those times. Ogling members of the opposite sex at school was also a common past time. One girl in particular, whom later became my first and longest relationship, I had a strong attraction to. My parents, particularly my mom, described puberty by going through a popular book aimed at children about to deal with these issues (can't remember the name of it right now) so I knew what was going on physically. Mom even strategically placed pamphlets here and there to be found and read that helped as well. I remember one in particular about negative self-talk that helped my awareness.<br /><br />It wasn't until, I think, the summer between my sophomore and junior years at school that I started to date. The first girl I asked out turned out to be the longest relationship of my life (very very long) and had the most ramifications for both of us. As I mentioned earlier, I was insanely attracted to her. The roles were somewhat reversed, however. She had more experience dating and with sex than I did so I followed her lead in a lot of things. She initiated the first kiss, for example, on the way home from a trip to the Renaissance Faire in a van with my brother and step-sisters. I couldn't stop laughing. Something I'll never forget.<br /><br />Not to dive too deep into her issues but something is relevant here. Due to things that happened to her she didn't feel sex was that special or really meant that much. Me, on the other hand, having these nice socially conservative views from god knows where didn't want to have sex until I was married. Go ahead, laugh it up. It was the dark ages of my life from a perspective point-of-view. Anyway, I kept declining her advances. We did a lot of stuff but stayed away from full on intercourse for over a year. My biggest concern was that I would change after wards and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I knew she had more experience than I did but I don't remember being all that jealous of it up to that point. It wasn't that big of a factor since we were in love.<br /><br />So eventually I gave in and we decided to have sex on a New Year's eve, I guess in my Junior year assuming my memories of the time line are right. We did, it was great, and we proceeded to be a sexual couple from then on in. I was right, though. It did change me. And not all in awesome ways.<br /><br />Because she had been taken advantage of so much in her past I didn't want to be 'that guy' so I never pushed for anything. It would always be from her lead. This led to problems later in our relationship and still makes it hard for me to be that initiator that our society generally looks for in intimate relationships. I just never learned it any other way. Once again, self-confidence thing. <br /><br />We were on and off for something like 15 years. The first break up was the worst because I didn't see it coming at felt extremely betrayed. That is an entirely different story but I never was able to get the trust and intimacy back I had that first time around. Jealousy became a HUGE issue for me, and rightfully so in some cases. In subsequent relationships it hasn't been an issue, thankfully. But I have grown A LOT from those years and have a much greater perspective than I did then. <br /><br />Here is the thing that drives me nuts though. I'm reading the book and it goes on about how different family of origin issues can predict all kinds of things. And I keep making comparisons back to what I know about her family of origin problems and how it affected her sexuality and how those issues, in turn, had an affect in my development and then it just pissed me off. While there were a lot of good things about that relationship I feel that I did myself a great disservice by robbing myself of the experiences I could use now as I re-enter the dating pool. While most of my friends were getting experience with dating and developing those skills and confidences, I distinctly remember being glad it wasn't something I needed to worry about because I already took care of it. At the time it was a relief but it also played into what turned out to be the co-dependent nature of our relationship that made it so disastrous for us both. And now I'm fucked, to put it bluntly. I feel like I'm going through things now that I should have gone through in my late-teens, early 20s and it frustrates me to no end. <br /><br />The other thing is that has to do with the true self versus familiar self that I talked about in previous posts. That relationship is the familiar self for me. For better or for worse it is my frame of reference. When I'm having a dip in self-confidence I begin to worry that I may never find certain unhealthy aspects of that relationship that I miss and crave but are not of the true me. It helps to remember that that is just familiar self stuff and bring it back into perspective and I usually can slide right by it now. So that is a good thing for sure. <br /><br />Ultimately, however, a real, loving, intimate relationship is what closes the door on that old familiar self. If only I knew how to do that.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-67978793161373157152010-02-23T16:34:00.002-05:002010-02-23T16:43:15.392-05:00Civil Rights and the Republican PartyOne of the canards that get thrown around a lot when race starts to be talked about is that it was the Republican party that voted for the Civil Rights act against the Democratic party. The idea being that everything is exactly as it was and if the Republicans of the 60's voted for Civil Rights then that proves that Republicans of today are not who racists generally support. A similar argument is made regarding the Civil War.<br /><br />This overlooks one important dynamic of that time. By signing the Civil Rights Act into law a mass migration of Democrats occurred. The so-called Dixiecrats (southern democrats) left the Democratic party and moved to the Republican party. It was these Dixiecrats that voted against the Civil Rights legislation. That changed the make-up of the two parties drastically. The nail was put into the coffin of what the Republican Party once stood for by Nixon and Reagen and the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_strategy">Southern Strategy</a>. To this day, polling from the south compared to the rest of the country yields very different results. It really is remarkable.<br /><br />In a nutshell, the Democratic and Republican parties had a realignment that put much of the Republican's support in the south where the majority of it remains today.<br /><br />Here is a break down of the actual votes for the Civil Rights Act according to Republican votes from the north and the south and Democratic votes from the north and the south. Without any ambiguity it is obvious that it was the south, rather Republican or Democrat, that went against the Civil Rights legislation rather than the north. The realignment then happened. Arguing that it was the Republican party that brought in Civil Rights is very misleading and disingenuous when compared to today's political realities.<br /><br />Votes are listed in Yeas-nays format.<br /><br />The original House version:<br />Southern Democrats: 7-87 (7%-93%)<br />Southern Republicans: 0-10 (0%-100%)<br />Northern Democrats: 145-9 (94%-6%)<br />Northern Republicans: 138-24 (85%-15%)<br /><br />The Senate version:<br />Southern Democrats: 1-20 (5%-95%) (<br />Southern Republicans: 0-1 (0%-100%)<br />Northern Democrats: 45-1 (98%-2%)<br />Northern Republicans: 27-5 (84%-16%) )Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-46403390355890311602010-02-22T09:51:00.004-05:002010-02-22T10:00:26.512-05:00Snowmageddon Proves Global Warming Is Fake! Not.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioSzkozKJER4pYQeUTbDMi2gb69HWZEVDcc6CjlQI64U0rQ8KS2ZX-xMD2PFJGN319TKpCM_95iA0Q0LIqORgtoSajERoUBF2nLXRBrrYrXQK4AhzF0xLoo6IpdvsmPIMVk0r-7g/s1600-h/washingtontemprecords.PNG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioSzkozKJER4pYQeUTbDMi2gb69HWZEVDcc6CjlQI64U0rQ8KS2ZX-xMD2PFJGN319TKpCM_95iA0Q0LIqORgtoSajERoUBF2nLXRBrrYrXQK4AhzF0xLoo6IpdvsmPIMVk0r-7g/s320/washingtontemprecords.PNG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441080691387099602" /></a><br /><br />This handy little graph shows the record highs, lows, and the ratio of highs to lows over the past 50 years. The 70's had, by far, the most record highs while the 2000s had just slightly more than the 50's and 60'. However, and here is the big eye opener, check out the record lows. Very few over the last 20 years and the ratio of highs to lows is just getting larger. What does it all mean?<br /><br />Well first of all it is interesting to note that over Snowmageddon that some of the talking morons on TV claimed proves Global Warming is a hoax we didn't have a single record low. Second, in the 2000's there were nearly 15x more record highs than lows, 11x in the 90's. No other decades are anywhere near that unbalanced.<br /><br />Additionally, while we may have had a cold snap in the northern hemisphere over the past few months the southern hemisphere has had record highs for the past few YEARS. In fact, some areas of the world are working on a 15 year drought. 15 years! Versus our two months. Yeah, wow. Global warming TOTALLY disapproved there.<br /><br />So, in summary, can we please stop making ridiculous claims by observing local, short term trends about average, global weather? Really. What do people not understand about the words 'average', 'global', and 'trend'. Willfully ignorant, that is why.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-38233252763098037362010-02-19T10:58:00.002-05:002010-02-19T11:13:20.689-05:00The Faithfull and the Willfully IgnorantEvery once in a while I'll be minding my own business and a thought pops in my head with crystal clarity. Usually I live in this gray cloud of indistinct and nebulous thoughts so when something like this happens it is refreshing. The circumstances that clarified this for me are not important (I can't remember them anyway) but what I realized is that while I find a lot of enjoyment in having a spirited discussion with people that think differently than I do, the religiously faithful and the willfully ignorant are two types of people that I find it impossible to have any sort of meaningful difference in opinion with.<br /><br />The very definition of faith doesn't lend itself to critical thinking. On part of having faith is believing in something despite evidence to the contrary. From my point of view, a lot of the tenants of different faiths are self-contradicting and not always consistent. That people find hope and reason for being in faith is a good thing in my opinion. I just don't see the point in engaging them in a debate about it.<br /><br />The willfully ignorant are by the most frustrating people to have any sort of disagreement with. Like the faithful, critical thinking is not something held in high esteem. What I mean by willfully ignorant are people that believe something for primarily ideological reasons despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. For example, that Obama is a socialist/marxist/facist and/or was not born in the United States. It is like arguing with a brick trying to challenge that belief. Another one that burns me is global warming denialism. <br /><br />What it boils down to is this: Challenging assumptions/beliefs is healthy. I like having a debate with someone that doesn't hold on to an opinion from an ideological or theological position but from a well information opinion. I think well informed people can draw different conclusions and have honest disagreements. Those conversations are very enlightening and enjoyable. As for the others, there is still value in understanding their point of view. There just isn't any value in challenging it.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-88421947099642192882010-02-13T15:47:00.001-05:002010-02-13T15:47:23.830-05:00The True Meaning of Valentine's Day<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HKKXhIJHYtM&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HKKXhIJHYtM&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-55162216887339099652010-02-10T23:21:00.002-05:002010-02-10T23:26:58.347-05:00North Korea!I have been fascinated with North Korea for the longest time, mostly because it is like a black hole of information. Nothing comes out of there. So when I came across these guys that bribed their way in through China and video taped the entire thing I had to watch it. I gotta tell you, it is as crazy as I thought. The whole place is like one big-ass Disneyland fantasy attraction in that it is all made up. It is nuts!<br /><br />I find it totally wild that they have these places all set up to show western visitors and how it is all choreographed but in this weird clumsy sort of way. The bit about the food is crazy. So are the big roads with no cars. Can you imagine living there? Your entire world opinion would be that North Korea is this amazing country with the most loved leader in the world and the evil Japanese and US people wanted you all dead. Meanwhile, you are living in next to this huge highway that has no cars on it in a village with no power. It is no wonder they are so paranoid of any information coming into the country. The people would just freak out if they knew what it was like just across the border in South Korea or even China for that matter. <br /><br />Check it out. There are three videos, each about 20 minutes long. <br /><a href="http://www.vbs.tv/watch/the-vice-guide-to-travel/vice-guide-to-north-korea-1-of-3">First Video</a><br /><a href="http://www.vbs.tv/watch/the-vice-guide-to-travel/vice-guide-to-north-korea-2-of-3">Second Video</a><br /><a href="http://www.vbs.tv/watch/the-vice-guide-to-travel/vice-guide-to-north-korea-3-of-3">Third Video</a>Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-19659256312142718742010-02-04T14:12:00.003-05:002010-02-04T14:24:28.001-05:00Why The Foreclosure Crisis Is Not OverSo in 2007 the foreclosure crisis and credit meltdown was kicked off by subprime loans resetting to where people had to start paying on principal and interest, effectively cranking their monthly fee through the roof. At the time the crazies were blaming poor people and such since subprimes are/were generally held by those with less income.<br /><br />Well guess what, we are about to be smacked in the head by something almost the same size as the subprime reset - the option ARM reset. ARMs are ajustable rate mortgages which basically means each year or so your interest rate may increase or decrease a bit based on some federal rate the loan is indexed against. Option ARMs, however, had the added awesomeness that you could defer paying on you principal until some date at which time you would have to start paying principal and interest; just like subprime loans! Hurray! Unlike subprimes, these were not generally held by those with less income (read: the poor) but more middle-class type people. <br /><br />And the reset that blew us up the first time on subprimes is about to happen on Option ARMs.<br /><br />Here is a graph to illustrate the point. You are basically looking at two mountain peaks. The one on the left in purple was the subprime reset in 2007 that blew us up the first time. The one on the right, in mostly blue, is what is going to happen over the next year or so and is what will blow us up again. Why again? Because our super smart congress has done shit to make any changes. Reactionary dumbasses. But that is another post.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8G3p-JbepxRrK6gIxW5W4vUv8wVMsPHEaBuYRFCoRoh40DVzkw2KPKzobUpSaAzcJ5Zm8lPxHRSYKhUj1bp_8tjE4D8Vv0Oq9xcv3ZqlAMtz8kAKhYNa28Ev-LegaJFErmlNulQ/s1600-h/AmherstOptionARM.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 279px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8G3p-JbepxRrK6gIxW5W4vUv8wVMsPHEaBuYRFCoRoh40DVzkw2KPKzobUpSaAzcJ5Zm8lPxHRSYKhUj1bp_8tjE4D8Vv0Oq9xcv3ZqlAMtz8kAKhYNa28Ev-LegaJFErmlNulQ/s320/AmherstOptionARM.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434470614848391314" /></a><br /><br />Can we avoid it? Sure. Pass things like bankruptcy cramdown that allows homeowners who can no longer afford their house to settle the mortgage through bankruptcy. You know, like we could do for decades until 2006 or so - right before the crisis - where congress in all its awesomeness decided to revoke that law on the behalf of the bankstas which in no small part contributed to the severity of the explosion. <br /><br />The frustration and contempt I have for these mental midgits/egoasses makes me feel like I need a cold shower.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-57586752144731618552010-02-02T12:41:00.002-05:002010-02-02T12:43:55.905-05:00The Year in PopI don't really care much for Pop music but I came across these mashups a month or so ago. This person takes the top 25 pop music for the year and mixes them together to make a new, and in my opinion, pretty incredible song. <br /><br />Here is 2008:<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XLaZ-8IMtt0&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XLaZ-8IMtt0&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />And here is 2009:<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iNzrwh2Z2hQ&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iNzrwh2Z2hQ&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />There are more at the website of <a href="http://www.djearworm.com/">DJ Earworm</a>.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-74425734466746263312010-02-01T12:13:00.002-05:002010-02-01T12:40:22.170-05:00Wallowing in the FamiliarIt has been a while since I blogged anything, to say the least. Between Facebook has serving as something of an outlet and the pressure of writing some sort of summary of the last 8 months or so I just haven't been all that motivated. I'm not sure this post is going to go anywhere in particular in any case.<br /><br />On Saturday I did nothing productive. I was going to do the Polar Bear Plunge but decided not to and basically sat on my ass and played video games all day. It was mostly unsatisfying. I don't know what bothered me about it so much. Was it the pressure I felt from not getting any work or school done? I'm sure it had something to do with feeling overwhelmed; something I have always had trouble dealing with. <br /><br />In any case, the only thing that came out of it came to me on Sunday when I realized what I was doing. I was wallowing in the familiar searching for something true. But was I really searching or was it more that I was just waiting? Waiting for something to come along that meant something to me? The real me, the true me, not the familiar me. What would that even look like?<br /><br />The last two months have started to get under my skin a bit. After spending so much time in the late summer and fall doing new things and being outdoors I have just kinda buckled down and tried to make it through the cold months. <br /><br />I am ready for this house thing to be resolved. The first few months didn't bother me that much but now it is holding me back. Or, more likely, I am using it as an excuse to hold me back, which amounts to the same thing really. I don't know where I am going to end up and I'm not comfortable with that. I also don't know what it'll be like not to have something at least semi-stable in my life. My personality needs an anchor and I fear this house may have been it for a little while. Maybe not. I don't know, and that is an issue.<br /><br />What is it that makes being friends with an ex so complicated? Unresolved emotions I suppose. I used to be in contact in some way with the various few ex's in my life and now I'm only in contact to some degree with one, and that hurts some. It certainly simplifies things as well, so it isn't a complete loss. Still, even though I knew some needed to move on being shut out completely and suddenly is hard to deal with. At the same time, I chose to do that with the person that has been in my life the longest. Almost a year ago now. Ok, 3/4 of a year. Details. I hate details.<br /><br />It hasn't been all doom and gloom. Not that any of it is really doom and gloom, just more like it has been unsettling. I am much more comfortable in my skin. I think I talked about this on this blog before. A year or so ago I stopped fighting what my nature is and just decided to embrace it and it has made all the difference in the world. Mostly this was in the form of expectations I had for myself. I accept that focusing on a single project for any long period of time is something that is difficult for me. So I don't try anymore. I break it all up in chunks and flip between stuff whenever something starts to frustrate me. I started working out and eating better. Cleaning the house up to put it on the market allowed me to get rid of literally over a ton of crap with more to go. School is going well, even if it adds to feeling overwhelmed sometimes. <br /><br />And I guess that is my biggest obstacle right now. Dealing with those overwhelmed feelings in a healthy manner rather than falling back into the familiar. Working out helps. Regardless, it is probably something that I will always have to deal with. And that is ok. How boring would life be without a little struggle? Need the valleys to experience the peaks, etc.<br /><br />I am going to wrap this up. This was nice and I hope to keep up with it again, but I'm not going to put any sort of expectation on myself to do so. I bleed hearts though so it should be easier going forward, even if it is just a song or something here and there.<br /><br />So in summary, while I have been in limbo the bast couple of months I have made progress too. Things are good, even if I am missing something in my life. Like most of my posts, this was not reviewed in any way. I just sat down and wrote the thing at once. Let it poured out. It is the most raw that way, and most useful to me.<br /><br />I'll leave you with what I think is the most simply creative video I have seen in a long time. Very cool.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/42E2fAWM6rA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/42E2fAWM6rA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-34812130044279087112009-05-19T11:42:00.003-04:002009-05-19T12:13:37.696-04:00So Much To Do, So Little TimeI am going west once more to the beautiful mountains of Colorado this Memorial Day weekend. I will be driving, again, perhaps with a friend depending on whether or not his work stops pulling his chain and makes up his mind about sending him to Dublin. I've been feeling an urge to drive and this opportunity came up to see more of Colorado so there you go. I call it my Sin Tour 2009 for reasons either you know or you don't. ;)<br /><br />In preparing for Sin Tour 2009 I have decided straightening up my house so when I return I won't be overwhelmed would be a good idea. I always thought it was stupid growing up that mom would make us clean up before we left. Now I totally understand it. So I went around with the trash can throwing a ton of crap away. I have all these little piles of stuff that need to be relocated now, including a ton of crap that goes to storage. That'll open up all kinds of space if I get my ass in gear and load up the Jeep.<br /><br />The next thing I need to do is get the leaks on the deck of the sailboat fixed so it doesn't get all yucky inside from rain and sitting in the sun all closed up for two weeks. I have two of six fixed so far. I just finished fabricating fixes for two more and I'm just waiting for the wood sealant to dry. The final two are just a matter of pulling the old sealant out from the porthole and squirting some new stuff in there. A task for tomorrow or Thursday. Then I can let her sit for two weeks without worrying about it. Doesn't look like I will have time to sail it this week though, which makes me sad.<br /><br />Finally, once again I am playing the 'will Ryan get paid in time' game. Three invoices out of six in the ether, will any of them get paid before I leave? I really need to do something about this cycle. It is probably the only real point of stress I have going on right now.<br /><br />Ok, enough with dicking around. Back to work!Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-40495702835049848252009-05-14T10:47:00.003-04:002009-05-14T10:59:26.491-04:00Adventures In Sailing! - Night Sailing, Rescues, and Elbow BracesEver since I have gotten my engine back I have done as much sailing as possible. This usually involves getting at least one other person and a nice day. With all the rain over the past month I haven't gone as much as I would have liked but I have done quite a bit. One thing I have been doing quite a bit lately is sailing in the evening. I really enjoy it. The temperature is even (no sun to be hidden behind the clouds) and it just seems very peaceful. Plus, the DC skyline is nice at night. One thing that I learned pretty quick is that other boats sneak up on you fast at night since their lights blend into the skyline. And for whatever reason there seems to be more traffic from the big boats at night.<br /><br />If you have spent any real time boating you have probably been part of a rescue at one point or another. One of the Federal boating rules is that you must render aide to a stranded vessel as long as rendering such aide will not endanger yourself. From my time with my speed boat and this sailboat I have been the rescuer twice and the rescuee once. My first rescue was in the back bay area south of Ocean City on my speed boat. It was a swamped canoe that we brought aboard with the two canoers and drove them to shore. Having 9 people plus a canoe on a 19' boat was a little crowded, to say the least. My time being the rescuee involved the lower unit of my speed boat grenading while coming home from messing around in the lower part of the Chesapeake. Had to get a two to shore from a passerby and they hire a tow boat to take me to the other shore since the one we were towed to didn't have a public ramp. <br /><br />This brings me to a recent adventure, being the rescuer on a sailboat. Normally it is sail boats being rescued speed boats, but in this case it went the other way around. We were sailing in the Potomac and I heard a horn toot twice and some yelling. Honestly, I tried to ignore it because they were close to shore and we were having so much fun sailing. But they honked again and then I saw them trying to paddle. I wasn't able to pretend they weren't in trouble anymore so we dropped the sails and puttered on over. The keel promptly got stuck before we reached them so it had to be cranked all the way up. We hooked a tow line up to them and then my little 8 hp outboard spent the next hour dragging them the two miles or so slowly up the Potomac to the public ramp they needed to make it to. In hindsight, it is probably good it happened since we decided to head in afterwards. The temperature fell like a brick that night when it became dark and it made for some chilly motoring home. If we had stayed out later like we were talking about doing it would have been miserable going back in.<br /><br />I took the Mom and the Brother out on Sunday for Mother's Day. We spent a good 8 hours out on the water, probably 6 1/2 of them under sail which makes for the longest continuous sailing day I've had so far. The winds became pretty gusty from time to time and we heeled over quite a bit. Mom's eyes about popped out of her head when that would happen and she kept saying 'Ryan, fix it!'. I let her know that as long as the first word out of my mouth isn't a cuss there is nothing to worry about. All in all it was a very enjoyable day. <br /><br />Finally, elbow braces. My elbows have really started to hurt pretty bad on some days after a long or particularly rough sail. I finally made it to the chiropractor who told me my elbows were inflamed and it was basically the equivalent of Tennis Elbow. She said it is something the body eventually gets used to but I should wear a brace until it does. So I picked up two Ace elbow braces and they have been added to my sailing equipment. Hopefully my body figures this stuff out sooner than later.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-2614692715743588222009-05-11T07:30:00.003-04:002009-05-11T07:31:45.161-04:00The Ideological AnimalCame across <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20061222-000001&page=1">this</a> article that talks about the psychological factors that contribute to a person's chosen ideology (liberal or conservative) and the way in which fear is utilized in the manipulation of that ideology.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-1000639107772694382009-05-09T01:31:00.003-04:002009-05-09T01:40:43.477-04:00Star Trek!When I first heard they were doing a new Star Trek film that was going to focus on the original characters (Kirk, Spock, etc) and explore how they met and such, I didn't think much of it. The Star Trek films, in my opinion, had been falling behind the times and pretty constrained by the universe that had been established by the various tv shows. Anything they did that touched on the early stuff would be very constrained.<br /><br />However, when I learned that JJ Abrams was behind it I started to look forward to the movie. Abrams is behind both the LOST and Alias TV shows of which I am a fan of both. His unique talent is in being able to take an existing storyline and just reinvent it every couple of seasons. He has been somehow able to just turns these shows on their head and go in a completely new and unexpected direction all while staying true to the major story arc. With the movie Cloverfield he did the same thing to monster films like Godzilla. So the question for wasn't if Star Trek would be enjoyable or not, but how was he going to reinvent it and would it work?<br /><br />Well, not to go into plot and give away details, but this sure as hell is your daddy's Star Trek. I was worried they were going to wuss out at the end but they didn't. It looks like they have relaunched the Star Trek franchise in a way that will probably satisfy a good chunk of the Trekkies while making it enjoyable for a new generation of fans that don't care much for the old stuff. <br /><br />This movie totally stands on its own. I sincerely hope they can keep the cast together and crank out some more stuff. The movie certainly sets it up to be able to explore a lot of stuff that I thought would have been out-of-limits originally.<br /><br />Anyway, all of that is to say this. Don't think of this as a 'Star Trek' film if you don't like Star Trek. If you like action/adventure stuff you'll enjoy this. Fast paced, enjoyable plot, special effects are up there, wasn't much for the music but that is a personal thing. If you do like 'Star Trek' films and know the back story to the original series (with Pike and such) you'll probably enjoy this too. Just don't expect a traditional Trek film. This is a new beast and baby, I likey.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-89304993419512144862009-04-26T01:16:00.002-04:002009-04-26T01:41:36.088-04:00Stream of Concisounness!!So.<br /><br />It is 1 am. I have returned from hanging out on a friends deck with some other peeps and drinking some wine. I am listening to a song that helped me through a difficult part of my life right now (posted at the end of this) and I have decided to just babble and see where it goes. Haven't done this in a while. Buckle your seat belts.<br /><br />I let old Ryan show some today. I'm not proud about it. I took out some frustration (ok, a lot of frustration) over this fricken boat on a friend. Yea, it was through text messages but I was still being a dick. I also probably wasn't the most enjoyable person to be around for a bit today. So sick and tired of these delays. I'm sure you all have been here but I felt like everything was lining up against me. I mean how else can you explain a left turn light that doesn't function so people had to run it which caused this big traffic delay when I was trying to make it to a wine vertical I've only been talking about for over a year? Stupid construction and the weirdest places too plus a cop that rather than letting the six cars turn right instead decides to let the main traffic go again. Granted, he corrected and let us go but man that didn't help my mood. And really. I've been talking about this damn event for OVER A YEAR!! And I was an hour late. Ok, sure, it was awesome and the wine was great and I ended up buying a case of this normally $50/bottle wine for $200. Hard to beat that. And so good!<br /><br />Oy, new paragraph. Anyway, I said all that to say this: why is that when your (and I am generalizing here) mood sucks it seems like everything is against you? There is a line from a Rush song that goes something like 'The way you feel changes how you view the world' that comes to mind a lot and I think it is right on. Perception is something I've talked/bitched/discussed about on here and in person and I really think it is key to almost everything. 'Reality' is shit. NLP (Neural Linguistic Programming) is a psychological practice that came about in the 70's. The more I read/observe/learn about it the more I think it is right on. It deals a lot with perception and 'mental maps' that people create to interpret the world. Understanding that people are coming from a different background/culture/world than you can explain a lot in how differences in opinion can come about. One of my favorite tenants of NLP is that 'the meaning of the message is in how it is received, not how it is sent'. Basically, the whole 'but I meant' this is crap...it doesn't matter what you said...it is totally in how the other person took it. This doesn't mean you have to responsible for how they take stuff or their shit, but it helpful to understand this when misinterpretantions come up. It doesn't do any good to try to convince someone you meant something else. It works a lot better to try a different angle.<br /><br />Damn I want to go sailing. It's been something like two months now. The deck looks awesome...at least compared to what it was. Much cleaner and whiter. Hopefully tomorrow. I just want the peace of being propelled with nothing but silence. I need it.<br /><br />So when I was in college I went through a very difficult time. I had failed out (I blame DOOM and a computer lab in a parking deck) and I didn't know what I was going to do. I was still living on campus at the time. Actually, this was the second time I failed out. The first time I fixed on my own and went into 'academic probation'. How ominous. But I failed out AGAIN while on this probation. Looking back I think the hardest moment was telling my dad I failed out of college. For some reason my dad being disappointed in my was (still is, really) the worst thing that could happen to me. After talking to him and my step-mom I remember taking a walk to a park near where they lived and crying quite a bit. I remember resolving to come out of this better and more focused. It was during this period in my life that I came across a song.<br /><br />Have you ever been in a place in your life where a single song really helps you through? It can be uplifting or depressing. Happy or sad. Doesn't matter. It just talks to you at that point in your life and just fricken helps. I've had a few moments like that in my life but I've always remembered this one. I remember being alone at my mom's with this song cranked up loud as hell and singing my heart out...tears and everything. Did it help? Not in the way I thought. I managed to fail out the very next semester and just gave up on college for the time begin (I've sense started going back). My life went if a VERY different direction but looking back I have few regrets. I think for where I was when I was I just wasn't able to appreciate college. Not like I can now. How amazing it is that perspective can change so much over the years. Totally and utterly fascinating.<br /><br />Anyway, I'm not so running out of steam as much as I think the number of people that actually make this far are going to be few and far between. Is that me being realistic or just beating myself up? Don't know. Probably both. Funny that.<br /><br />The song I mentioned was 'Someone Else' from Queensryche. The video can be seen <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66cOUdciVxY&feature=related">here</a> and the lyrics are posted below. I want to highlight one specific part for you all:<br /><br /><blockquote><br />Standing here at the crossroad's edge<br />Looking down at what I used to be<br />A drowning man, trying to stay afloat<br />Heavy with the past, but somehow keeping hope<br />That there's something more that is seen<br />But it's somewhere out of reach<br /></blockquote><br /><br />I think this sums up that summer and some periods in my life since. Knowing that there is more but not being able to reach it. The 'heavy with the past' part DEFINITELY describes some days for me recently. But that could be another posting like 30x as long as this one, so lets not go there now.<br /><br />Anyway, full lyrics follow. For those of you that made it this far (this is me beating myself up again), I appreciate it. <br /><br />Enjoy:<br /><br /><blockquote><br />When I fell from grace I never realized<br />How deep the flood was around me<br />A man whose life was toil was like a kettle left to boil<br />And the water left these scars on me<br /><br />The chains I wore were mine, dragging me towards my fate<br />Planned for me long ago<br /><br />I played by all their rules, went to their right schools<br /><br />Who was I to question?<br /><br />They used to say I was nowhere man<br />Heading down was my destiny<br />But yesterday I swear that was<br />Someone Else not me<br /><br />Here I stand at the crossroad's edge<br />Afraid to reach out for eternity<br />One step when I look down<br />I see someone else, not me<br /><br />I know now who I am, if only for awhile<br />I recognize the changes<br />I feel like I did, before the magic wore thin<br />And the baptism of stains began<br /><br />Sacrifice, they always say... is a sign of nobility<br />But where does one draw the line in the face of injury?<br />I'm just trying to understand<br /><br />Standing here at the crossroad's edge<br />Looking down at what I used to be<br />A drowning man, trying to stay afloat<br />Heavy with the past, but somehow keeping hope<br />That there's something more that is seen<br />But it's somewhere out of reach<br /><br />So I keep looking back<br />Looking back and I see someone else<br /><br />All my life they said I was going down<br />But I'm still standing stronger proud<br /><br />And today I know, there's so much more I can be<br />I think I finally understand<br /><br />From where I stand at the crossroad's edge<br />There's a path leading out to sea<br />And from somewhere deep in my mind<br />Sirens sing out loud, songs of doubt, as only they know how<br />But one glance back reminds and I see<br />Someone Else, not me.<br /><br />I keep looking back at Someone Else... me? <br /></blockquote>Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-56584707902281203802009-04-26T00:51:00.002-04:002009-04-26T00:55:18.050-04:00What Has Ryan Learned LatelyThis is what I have learned over the past couple of days:<br /><br />1) No matter how passionate you may be about politics, you can still be good friends with the other side.<br /><br />2) When your mechanic looks at you and asks you if you would like him to go ahead and change the part out - even though you may have waited six weeks and feel frugal and prideful and regardless of how easy you think it'll be or he implies it'll be - suck it up and let him do it.<br /><br />3) Despite the best laid plans, lightning trumps everything. Deal with it.<br /><br />4) Some wine and some friendship can fix a lot of problems.<br /><br />Thanks my peeps. I haven't been this frustrated in a long time and tonight really helped.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-80744162832476043462009-04-24T12:49:00.002-04:002009-04-24T12:55:49.620-04:00I'm Still AliveHaven't updated in a while. I've just been treading water the past few weeks, not moving forward or back. That ended a couple of days ago, finally.<br /><br />I updated my iFreelance profile and started pounding Craig's List for new contracts. I'm down to one and need to get a safety net going. You can check out my profile if you like at <a href="http://www.ifreelance.com/pro/11034">Lucidosity</a>. Yes that is the name I am doing business under now. Hopefully I'll be able to eventually turn up some additional work.<br /><br />I am picking up the boat engine today! Yay! Last week I spent Thursday, Saturday and Sunday working on the boat. I figure I put in 20 solid hours actually on the boat cleaning and fixing. Had some help from C on Sunday, thanks! The teak has all been installed with only two mishaps. I managed to split one board because I screwed the screw in too deep. And apparently I misplaced two screws because the standard sized ones that are used everywhere else popped through on the other side of the teak. Other than that, its all nice and pretty now. The decks have been cleaned as much as they are going to get without breaking out power tools. I'm going to see what waxing some of the surfaces looks like. I found two leaks in the deck that I need to fix this weekend then I move on to the interior.<br /><br />At some point I WILL GO SAILING, dang it all. Probably not until next week though.<br /><br />This weekend I have a Nebillio vertical tasting at Breaux on Saturday (mmmm) and the Reston Wine Festival on Sunday (mmmmm). Sunday night, I sleep. :)<br /><br />So there you go. An update in a nutshell.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-25376662223145679592009-03-30T11:05:00.000-04:002009-03-30T11:06:27.230-04:00Umm, Wow.<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DqANtViviME&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DqANtViviME&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />I want me a border collie, damn it.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-47586345012235642472009-03-26T00:14:00.003-04:002009-03-26T00:42:52.321-04:00Ryan's Personal PhilosophySomeone else coined the phrase. I dish out advice, whether it is good or not is up to debate I suppose. I guess it is part of my ever evolving personal philosophy that I like to spread around because it works for me. Your mileage may vary.<br /><br />In any case, this is just stuff I picked up along the way or came to on my own that fits my experiences and helps me make sense of things. Or if not sense, at least accept and move on. I figured I'd share it. Someone called them Ryanisms once and I think I like that. I'm sure I missed some. Everything is subject to change, this is just what I believe right now.<br /><br /><br />1) <em>Labels get in the way.</em><br />I think it is easy to get too tied up in trying to label situations or issues instead of focusing on understanding them and just accepting them. Who cares if you have low self-esteem or if it is self-doubt, understand that is who you are right now and then learn how to embrace it and adapt. Getting caught up in identifying the proper label may serve a purpose at first but it starts to become counter-productive. This is particularly true when trying to label relationships between people. That shit is just complicated.<br /><br /><br />2) <em>Know where your shit ends and someone else's begins.</em><br />Everyone reacts to things differently for a variety of reasons. There are things that you are going to react to in a way that is out-of-proportion to the actual event because of past hurts and experiences you have had. As a result, conversations can get heated for reasons that aren't apparent. Knowing where your shit ends - for example, not taking responsibility for someone over-reacting - can make a huge difference. <br /><br /><br />3) <em>How your internal dialog talks to you makes a big difference in self-esteem.</em><br />Self talk is hugely important to self-esteem. If you make a mistake and then berate yourself for it in your inner dialog - saying things like 'You idiot' or 'That was stupid' - all you are doing is beating yourself down. What is the point of doing that? It was a mistake, who cares. Give yourself a break. It is all about the positive thinking. Changing your perspective.<br /><br /><br />4) <em>Everyone was a beginner at some point.</em><br />How many times have you walked into a situation, particularly a learning situation or where you were new to something, and felt totally out-of-place or like everyone was staring at you? Just remember, all of those people were beginners at some point too.<br /><br /><br />5) <em>Let things happen when they are ready to happen.</em><br />I believe that things happen smoothly when they are ready to happen. Forcing events doesn't usually end well. For example, this post. I've had it rolling around in my head for sometime but it didn't feel right to post it until now. Gut feelings can hold wisdom.<br /><br /><br />6) <em>Perception is everything OR You are your experiences.</em><br />This one can be discussed a lot but basically you are what you perceive. I'm not sure I can really explain this in a short paragraph, but I'll give it a shot. If two people experience the exact same event at the same time, what they take from it - their perception of it - is going to be different based on past experiences. Their interpretation of the event is filtered through who they are. Who they are is based on life experiences and genetics (which gets into nature vs nurture, let us table that for now). Anyway, I say all that to say this: your reality is an interpretation of what happens to you. This comes in in trying to understand politics and such and the art of managing perceptions.<br /><br /><br />Okey dokey, this is going a little long. I'm not sure I did a good job explaining some of this stuff so please, hit me with some questions or challenge me on some of this stuff. It helps me clarify my own thoughts.Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-72880215471501042082009-03-25T14:26:00.002-04:002009-03-25T14:42:56.102-04:00A Chica Chica, A Chica Chica, A Chica Chica Ow!It's Business Time! Love this song:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-pELNaTa1BM&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-pELNaTa1BM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Favorite line: "You know when I`m down to just my socks it`s time for business that`s why they call it business socks."Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-23872891060526005662009-03-25T03:19:00.002-04:002009-03-25T03:21:00.145-04:00Come Sail AwayI was going to post this in response to a comment in my Outboard Engine post I posted earlier today, but the last half of it was so funny I decided it needed its own post.<br /><br />Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Cartman:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YFEn5eZg7eQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YFEn5eZg7eQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9977765.post-88813128378125342382009-03-24T14:52:00.002-04:002009-03-24T14:56:30.600-04:00Adventures in Sailing! - Outboard UpdateTalked to the boat engine guy today. He put together an estimate that comes to about $400 (parts, labor, etc) to fix the prop shaft, replace the prop and do some other things that are in dire need of fixing on the lower unit. The rest of the engine is in good shape so once this is done it should be good to go for awhile.<br /><br />$400 was about what I thought it would come to and was prepared to pay, so that is good. The other thing is DAMN is that cheaper than repairs on my old 150 hp. This would have easily run $2500 or so. I heart little engines.<br /><br />On the downish-side, it'll take about two weeks or so. Thankfully this is all happening at the start of the season so I'm not going to miss out too much. Assuming I get paid and get my finances fixed, this would also be a prime time to pull the boat out so I can work on the hull. Whether or not that happens will greatly depend on the cash flow. It isn't critical and can wait until the fall or even next season, so no big deal either way.<br /><br />So, in a nutshell, hopefully sailing can recommence in two weeks or so!Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18199256286484810951noreply@blogger.com1