Letting It Happen Naturally

So with Leslie and I split up and me single again, I've entered into territory I'm not familiar with. While I was with Leslie, I didn't go out of my way to make friends of the opposite sex, let alone try to date anyone. I now find myself in the position of needing to take more risks and put myself out there more, which is very hard for me to do around people I don't know.

After a lot of thinking on this I think my attitude toward dating is to just put my self in the position to meet new people and make friends. Then, if anything grows out of that friendship, I'll pursue it if it feels right. To me, that is letting a relationship grow naturally.

I had this conversation with a friend and she brought up some good points. Basically, she questioned just what 'naturally' means, and I quote:

And as for the happen naturally, there'd be a blog thought. What the hell is naturally? Somebody's got to make an effort somewhere, take a chance, etc.

The backstory of where this conversation came from isn't necessary right now, but it does bring up some interesting questions. It's not like there is a little paperclip in the corner saying 'Now kiss her, dipshit'. So there has to be an aspect of risk taking, even the act of just asking someone you have a budding friendship with if they want to go on a date is a risk. I mean, what if the other person hasn't thought anything about it? What if they then start to feel preassured or uncomfortable? What if all the door holding and nice comments start to be second guessed in the frame of 'this guy just wants to date me'? Risk, right? But without that risk, what? I like to believe that things will just happen but I keep out thinking myself trying to figure out what 'just happen' will look like.

So maybe those of you that have more dating experience (which is everyone) or you married people can chime in here. Did you start going out with someone with the understanding of a dating relationship from the begining or was it a friendship that developed into a dating relationship? If it was a friendship first, how did you know when to make the move to dating? What did that move look like? What kind of rejections did you have and how did you deal with them? Could make for some interesting stories if anyone wants to take a risk and post about it.

There Is A God!

Sweet

Full Boat

Took the boat out yesterday. Had seven people and two dogs on it. That was a packed a boat. We purchased a new raft too, it's pretty cool. You can put two people on it and have them lay side by side. The two sides come up like wings so I can whip the raft around a corner without it flipping over. So in the end you can go faster, get more air, and not fly off the thing. It's a bunch of fun.

The only problem with bringing dogs in the boat is the dog hair that they leave behind. My boat is furry right now. Gotta get the ol' vacum out next time.

The water is like bath water now, it's nuts. 87 degrees in the water! Amazing. It'll be like that through September.

If any of you want to make some time and come out with us, let me know what works for you. It's a good time and it isn't as scary as it was on the back bay. Besides, I've learned a lot since then.

Come on out!

Why I Don't Drink Alot

Every couple of years I need to go out and have a crappy drinking experience in order to remind myself why I don't do it alot. This past Friday I went out with the roommate and a bunch of people he knew from old work ties. We went to a Happy Hour, then over to Herndon where they have a concert every Friday night. This concert was a band called 'Gonzo's Nose' that does primarly 80's music. They were actually really good. One of the girl's that went with us had dropped off some chairs and a blanket in the afternoon so we had front row seats. Did some more drinking there. Then on to a cool bar in Hernon where we drank more. So much, in fact, that I danced. I don't dance. I suffer from White Guys disease - no rythym. Plus, with the long arms and stuff I look like a damn gorilla having a seizure.

Anyway, after the bar we went to Reston to yet another bar. However, at this point I was drinking solely water since I had to do the drive home at the end of the night. When I drove home I wasn't buzzed or anything anymore so I figured I was home free as far as a hangover or the like would go. Heh, wrong.

Went to bed and fell right a sleep. About 6:30 am I woke up with a nasty headache and some nausea going on. I just kept laying there and then I started to sweat ALOT. And not just normal sweat, but alchol sweat. Ick! Damn that shit stunk...and I sweat for like an hour or something. It was miserable. Too hot under the sheets, too cold with them on. I finally fell asleep until about noon or so and felt ok afterwards. Had to toss everything in the washer though from sweating so much.

Sooo, that is about it really. Hard enough morning to remind me not to do that shit anymore. It should last for another couple of years. Man, I'm getting a headache again just thinking about that.

Coincidence? I Think Not

So all of us Sci Fi fans surely have heard of the death of Scotty (James Doohan).

We all also know that he had become somewhat more rotund later in life. Perhaps from the eating of TV Dinners? I was perusing CNN yesterday and came across this. My first thought, and I kid you not, was that this was somehow related to Scotty's passing away. Like the TV Dinner guy lost his best customer and could no longer go on.

Is it just me?

The Moon!

Pretty cool eh?

Now zoom all the way in.

Art Imitates Life

Ok, this is a very depressing post. First, read this story in the Onion. The Onion, for thoughs of you not in the know, is a new satire site. It's very funny, and all the stuff is made up.

Now read this.

Some people are just a waste of life.

Communist Smurfs

This kicks so much ass I can't stand it.

I Didn't Know This Was In The Bible

Holy crap! I had no idea this crap was in the bible. I thought it was full of love and that sorta thing, but what the heck? No wonder the neocons are trying to blow up everything. Scary, very scary.

The more I read this site the more convinced I become that the bible is nothing more than a form of social control for the uneducated masses back in the day. It reads like a "here's how to survive" manual sometimes, with some crazy stuff tossed in for good measure.

I mean look at this, this, and this.

All from Deuteronomy. Let's look at some other parts of the bible.

From Psalms. My favorite: 'God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them'

From Revelation.

And on and on and on.

Oh, and don't forget to take a look at the Book of Mormon or the Quran while you are there. All social control, baby.

Now That's Sleeping

I've sleepwalked once in my life that I remember. Wasn't a big deal, I was young, ended up in my brothers room or something. I've also had these weird experiences where I partially wake up when someone asks me a question in a deep sleep. I answer them with somthing that makes absolutely no sense, and I am aware of what I'm saying and doing I just can't do anything about it. It's REALLY weird, pretty funny too. I'm sure Leslie has some good stories about that. Finally, I move alot while sleeping and apparently carry out entire conversations that you can follow one side of while I'm zonked out. I also laugh a lot while I sleep.

In any case, I have never, ever done anything like this.

Surprise in the Night

Almost exactly one year ago we had a jail break at the house. Misfit pushed the screen out of the window and he, Mimic, and Moonshine got out. It happened while we were away for the day, when we returned there was no Moonshine. We searched the neighborhood and put up flyers all over the place. We checked with the SPCA and the local vet's, but nothing turned up. For about a month we received phone calls of people seeing similiar cats but it always turned out to be a different cat. We even went so far as to purchase a relatively cheap motion sensitive camera and installed it outside and put food under it, so we could find out if she was coming to the door at night to get the food. Ultimately she never returned, and we decided she was gone.

Every once in a while I would have a dream about finding her or her coming back. I know its just a cat, but it was open ended, and that bothered me. Over time it faded but still popped up from time to time.

Last night I was talking on the phone with Leslie about how her 4th of July went. I guess the lightning storm was messing up the signal with one of our phones so I went outside and walked up and down the sidewalk. At some point during our conversation I noticed a cat meowing at me and wondering around. I got near it and it ran away a little bit. Ever since Moonshine left whenever I would run into a similiar looking cat I would try to get close, just in case. I played the 'catch me' game with this one for about 15 minutes before finally catching it, almost gave up twice. Well, upon closer inspection the cat was silver and quite thin, it had some cuts and a lot burs, so obviously has been outside for a while. This one looked closest to Moonshine I had seen so I grabbed and took it inside and up to my room for closer inspection.

Turns out, unless both Leslie and I are nuts, Moonshine came back. A thiner Moonshine, but Moonshine. She has the same mannerisms, the tail that can lay flat on her back, the weird thing she does with her paw, the pur machine as soon as you look like you are going to touch her, etc. And, most telling, she seemed right at home in this house.

In a nutshell, a cat that escaped from the house and ran away because she was scared found her way back almost exactly one year later. How kick ass is that?

Why I Can't Work a 9 to 5 Job

I worked a 9 to 5 job three times in my life and it about killed me. I just can't function in such a fixed format. And I really don't get the concept of face-time when it puts productivity as the secondary goal. To me, meeting your deadlines should be the primary goal, regardless of how it's actually done. In fact, that was one of the main issues I had at Postal Innovations, that whole concept of face-time over meeting goals. It was coming from the managements lack of confidence in their employees and desire to micro manage EVERYTHING.

I'm not so naive to believe that there is no benifit to face-time. There certainly is, particularly when starting new projects or dealing with some serious issues. I'm just saying face-time for the sake of face-time above all else is pointless. Face-time in order to appease a managers issues with control isn't a productive use of my time.

Also, there are some people that need to be micro-managed and/or thrive in a 9-to-5 job. Working something unstructured like I thrive in is probably only for a minority of the people. But even those that do thrive off structure shouldn't be held to face-time just because, they should be deadline driven. It's the way I manage my peeps and it works very well, but that's just my management style and the type of people I have working with me. In fact, I probably don't manage enough sometimes, but that's a different deal all together.

Anyway, this link got me thinking about it again.

So what are all of your experiences with face-time and micro-management?