I went to dinner Sunday night with Mel and some friends. During the course of the evening I had a flight of beer and shared a bottle of wine. We decided between us that we wanted an after-dinner drink so I picked up the wine list (of bottles, mind you, not glasses) and saw a cheap port. Everyone agreed so we said to Waiter Bitch (the nickname we gave him because he said to the table next to us, and I kid you not: "My name is [whatever] and I'll be your desert bitch tonight" ):
"We would like a bottle of port, please"
"A bottle? Not four glasses?"
"Yes, a bottle."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely."
So he brings out a bottle of port. Now, usually desert wines come in these very narrow bottles that you can just managed to squeeze four glasses so that's what we (I) expected. I was abit surprised when out came a rather larger bottle. The other thing to keep in mind is that port has a higher alcohol content then wine or even desert wine at around 20%.
Ok, so you picture this? We were all pretty toasted at this point so we didn't think much of it. We started pouring the glasses and I'm thinking 'Wow, this is really good considering how cheap it was'. Then it dawned on me and I just started laughing. That's right. It wasn't per bottle...it was per glass. Opps.
Yea, so. Needless to say, the dinner bill was considerably higher than we planned and we had to share a cab home.
Oh! I also learned, on the cab ride home, that it is possible to throw up and just go right back to laughing like nothing happened. That was pretty amusing.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
The Lost Chord
So I was watching this movie this morning called 'Melinda and Melinda' and within it there is a reference to something called 'the lost chord'. The context was interesting so I looked it up.
Turns out, it was a song written in 1877 that basically boils down to a musical chord that the composer hit while screwing around with his organ (the musical one, you sick people) that just brought complete clarity to everything. After it faded he was never able to find it again. The first thing I thought of was the song 'Tribute' by Tenacious D.
I like these sort of mystical kinda things. Don't know why but I find them really interesting, particularly when they move into popular culture.
Anyway, here are the lyrics to the song 'The Lost Chord' by Arthur Sullivan:
Turns out, it was a song written in 1877 that basically boils down to a musical chord that the composer hit while screwing around with his organ (the musical one, you sick people) that just brought complete clarity to everything. After it faded he was never able to find it again. The first thing I thought of was the song 'Tribute' by Tenacious D.
I like these sort of mystical kinda things. Don't know why but I find them really interesting, particularly when they move into popular culture.
Anyway, here are the lyrics to the song 'The Lost Chord' by Arthur Sullivan:
Seated one day at the organ,
I was weary and ill at ease,
And my fingers wandered idly
Over the noisy keys.
I know not what I was playing,
Or what I was dreaming then;
But I struck one chord of music,
Like the sound of a great Amen.
It flooded the crimson twilight,
Like the close of an angel's psalm,
And it lay on my fevered spirit
With a touch of infinite calm.
It quieted pain and sorrow,
Like love overcoming strife;
It seemed the harmonious echo
From our discordant life.
It linked all perplexéd meanings
Into one perfect peace,
And trembled away into silence
As if it were loth to cease.
I have sought, but I seek it vainly,
That one lost chord divine,
Which came from the soul of the organ,
And entered into mine.
It may be that death's bright angel
Will speak in that chord again,
It may be that only in Heav'n
I shall hear that grand Amen.
Crazy Group Dynamics
The dynamics in the group tonight were crazy. There was a lot of very interesting verbal fencing and such that touched on some old vulnerabilities in me. It turns out that those old vulnerabilities don't hold much power anymore. Learning that was great.
One thing that I learned in therapy, probably the single most important thing I learned for myself, was the idea of being selfish in a healthy way. As time goes on and I see that dynamic at work in other people and in myself I understand it and appreciate it more. Basically it is knowing when your shit ends and someone elses begins. To understand that you can only be responsible for your own actions and reactions and not for someone elses to you. Everyone processes things through the filters of their own experiences and you just can't hold yourself responsible for how they react to you when you are acting on your own behalf for your own good. That is being selfish in a healthy way.
That isn't to say you shouldn't care for others or show sympathy or try to help them, etc. The idea is to not let their stuff become your stuff. To not become vested and to be able to walk away. It's hard to do but it is very freeing.
Anyway, that current played out in a lot of different ways with a lot of different people, myself included. The other really interesting bit of the night was some verbal fencing I had with someone that took me a bit to realize he was being serious and not just trying to get a reaction from me. Basically the point that because I am very open with my views and opinions that I tend to alienate some people, rather than trying to moderate myself to get along with more people. The argument put forth was that when I get older I'll realize this. Ok, fair enough. Who am I to say I know what lessons I will learn in the future. Will I change? Hell yes I will. Will I change and learn the same lessons someone else did? Maybe, but who is in any position to know that? Everyone takes a different path and learns different lessons. They can be similar, sure, but it's going to mean something different to everyone. All I know is that right now I have never been more in tune with who I am at this moment and I am having a great time. When I'm out with people I know I feel safe enough to totally be myself and if there are some people that our offended, walk away. It's not like I'm making anyone listen to me or interact with me and I'm not interested in pleasing people just to please them. I am at Meetup for my satisfaction and fulfillment just like everyone else is in the end. Otherwise, why would you be there?
So, in the end it turned out to be a pretty interesting night and I'm glad I left my cave to enjoy it.
Oh, and Harold and Kumar 2 was pretty good. :)
One thing that I learned in therapy, probably the single most important thing I learned for myself, was the idea of being selfish in a healthy way. As time goes on and I see that dynamic at work in other people and in myself I understand it and appreciate it more. Basically it is knowing when your shit ends and someone elses begins. To understand that you can only be responsible for your own actions and reactions and not for someone elses to you. Everyone processes things through the filters of their own experiences and you just can't hold yourself responsible for how they react to you when you are acting on your own behalf for your own good. That is being selfish in a healthy way.
That isn't to say you shouldn't care for others or show sympathy or try to help them, etc. The idea is to not let their stuff become your stuff. To not become vested and to be able to walk away. It's hard to do but it is very freeing.
Anyway, that current played out in a lot of different ways with a lot of different people, myself included. The other really interesting bit of the night was some verbal fencing I had with someone that took me a bit to realize he was being serious and not just trying to get a reaction from me. Basically the point that because I am very open with my views and opinions that I tend to alienate some people, rather than trying to moderate myself to get along with more people. The argument put forth was that when I get older I'll realize this. Ok, fair enough. Who am I to say I know what lessons I will learn in the future. Will I change? Hell yes I will. Will I change and learn the same lessons someone else did? Maybe, but who is in any position to know that? Everyone takes a different path and learns different lessons. They can be similar, sure, but it's going to mean something different to everyone. All I know is that right now I have never been more in tune with who I am at this moment and I am having a great time. When I'm out with people I know I feel safe enough to totally be myself and if there are some people that our offended, walk away. It's not like I'm making anyone listen to me or interact with me and I'm not interested in pleasing people just to please them. I am at Meetup for my satisfaction and fulfillment just like everyone else is in the end. Otherwise, why would you be there?
So, in the end it turned out to be a pretty interesting night and I'm glad I left my cave to enjoy it.
Oh, and Harold and Kumar 2 was pretty good. :)
Friday, April 25, 2008
Speaking of Dreams
This series of posts are going to be funny. This is the third I've written back-to-back but you all will probably read them backwards so the train of thought is going to be weird.
Anyway, I had this dream last night (either after the Misfit one or the second part of that one) that it cost me over $200 to fill up my gas tank. I started to think how much of a pain that would be and that'd I'd have to work from home sometimes, etc.
But really, maybe gas climbing in price isn't a bad thing in the long term. Sure, it'll be a huge bitch in the short term for everyone but maybe these are the kind of things that need to happen to get people motivated to make changes.
Whatever. Just a thought.
Anyway, I had this dream last night (either after the Misfit one or the second part of that one) that it cost me over $200 to fill up my gas tank. I started to think how much of a pain that would be and that'd I'd have to work from home sometimes, etc.
But really, maybe gas climbing in price isn't a bad thing in the long term. Sure, it'll be a huge bitch in the short term for everyone but maybe these are the kind of things that need to happen to get people motivated to make changes.
Whatever. Just a thought.
Cat Dream
So much for going back to bed.
Anyway, I have this reoccuring dream involving my dead cat Misfit. Each time I'm in this dream and I'm just chilling at the house and he just shows up and hangs out for awhile. I am aware that I hadn't seen him for a while and that he tends to come and go as he pleases. Like he goes into hiding or something and just pops out to hang from time to time. Well, this time around I decided I was going to take pictures of him to prove to people that he exists, right? So I took a few pictures and then in the dream I woke up...into another dream! And in that other dream I knew he wasn't alive but I met three people that all had different aspects of his personality, right? And they were like calling to me or something and then it just went totally weird after that and I don't really recall it.
Then I really woke up and I remember looking at my phone and wondering if I had really taken pictures...
Alas, I did not.
Until next time in my dreams, Misfit.
Anyway, I have this reoccuring dream involving my dead cat Misfit. Each time I'm in this dream and I'm just chilling at the house and he just shows up and hangs out for awhile. I am aware that I hadn't seen him for a while and that he tends to come and go as he pleases. Like he goes into hiding or something and just pops out to hang from time to time. Well, this time around I decided I was going to take pictures of him to prove to people that he exists, right? So I took a few pictures and then in the dream I woke up...into another dream! And in that other dream I knew he wasn't alive but I met three people that all had different aspects of his personality, right? And they were like calling to me or something and then it just went totally weird after that and I don't really recall it.
Then I really woke up and I remember looking at my phone and wondering if I had really taken pictures...
Alas, I did not.
Until next time in my dreams, Misfit.
What The Heck?
Why am I still awake? I tried to sleep but it wasn't happening. Now its about 4 am and I'm watching 'Hellraiser: Hellworld' with good ol' pinhead hacking people up and such. Eww...there goes someone's head with a butchers knife. Oy.
I should try to sleep again. I certainly am tired now but strangely I feel compelled to finish watching this. I'm not sure how they are going to manage to fill another hour when 2 of the 4 main characters have already been killed. Maybe that's why I feel compelled?
Screw it. I'm going to bed.
Maybe.
I should try to sleep again. I certainly am tired now but strangely I feel compelled to finish watching this. I'm not sure how they are going to manage to fill another hour when 2 of the 4 main characters have already been killed. Maybe that's why I feel compelled?
Screw it. I'm going to bed.
Maybe.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Meetup!
There are a few things I sing the praises of: Tivo, Chiropractors, ducks and Meetup!. With regards to Meetup, it's really the way to go to meet people and increase your social circle. There are two groups I am very active in and two I am somewhat active in, despite being a co-organizer of one. I shall link to all four in a moment.
I right this because if you aren't in Meetup you should give it a shot. Most of the groups are free and the ones that aren't are very very cheap (like $20/year) to offset organizational costs. There are groups all around the country for practically anything you can imagine. You owe it to yourself to check it out.
As a way to show you what kind of crazy goes on, here is a blog that Shana updates with pictures from the adventures of the two groups I'm most active in (EDM and the Wine group).
And here are the links to the ones I am most involved in. Join people, join.
The Virginia Wine Club
http://wine.meetup.com/16/
Eat, Drink and Meet-NoVA Group (aka EDM aka Julie's Group)
http://socialnetwork.meetup.com/579/
The Fairfax Camping Meetup Group (The one I am co-organizer in name only)
http://camping.meetup.com/99/
DC/MD/VA Adventure Meetup (First group I joined)
http://adventurers.meetup.com/42/
I right this because if you aren't in Meetup you should give it a shot. Most of the groups are free and the ones that aren't are very very cheap (like $20/year) to offset organizational costs. There are groups all around the country for practically anything you can imagine. You owe it to yourself to check it out.
As a way to show you what kind of crazy goes on, here is a blog that Shana updates with pictures from the adventures of the two groups I'm most active in (EDM and the Wine group).
And here are the links to the ones I am most involved in. Join people, join.
The Virginia Wine Club
http://wine.meetup.com/16/
Eat, Drink and Meet-NoVA Group (aka EDM aka Julie's Group)
http://socialnetwork.meetup.com/579/
The Fairfax Camping Meetup Group (The one I am co-organizer in name only)
http://camping.meetup.com/99/
DC/MD/VA Adventure Meetup (First group I joined)
http://adventurers.meetup.com/42/
How Should I Take This?
And now for another edition of 'How Should I Take This?'
This one was emailed to me by a friend. The email subject said 'Made me think of you ;)' and this was the link in the email.
I leave this without further comment.
This one was emailed to me by a friend. The email subject said 'Made me think of you ;)' and this was the link in the email.
I leave this without further comment.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Don't Be A Turkey
I went away for the weekend with a bunch of people for a wine weekend. It was a good time and I learned some things. I'm not going to bore you with details of the entire weekend but I am going to hit some highlights:
1) On the way down 5 of us hit two vineyards and ended up purchasing 3 cases (36 bottles) of wine. That's a lot of wine.
2) Sometimes a $44 bottle of wine is actually worth $44.
3) People that have been drinking a lot all day like to sing. Good times.
4) Getting pulled over for the license plate registration being expired after leaving a wine festival can be somewhat nerve racking.
5) Wine festivals are still fun even in the rain.
6) The attitude with the Bourborsville people is unbelievably shitty. "We are big enough that we don't have to care", "I've been drinking wine since I was 3" and "We aren't going to open anymore bottles to taste because it is raining". WTF? It's a wine festival you morons. Let us taste your damn wine and loose the attitude. "Too big to care". Jackass.
7) Smaller wineries are more awesome than bigger well-known ones.
8) Meritage is pronounced like heritage and is an American word.
9) Attack ducks.
10) "The frog jumps at midnight" and "the bunnies hop at midnight" are both very funny.
11) The turkey was almost the national bird.
13) You can make a wine taste like liquor (whiskey)
14) This is a story: Saturday night some of us were hanging outside before bed beneath a porch-like thing. One person was leaning back in his chair so the rain could hit his face. Someone else looked at him and said "Don't be a turkey" to which everyone else looked at her with blank stares and said "...and?". "Do you really need me to finish it?" "Yes". "Don't be a turkey...and die!". After we could breath from laughing so hard we requested an explanation as to what she was talking about. Turns out, the comment makes total sense once you know that turkey's, not being the smartest animals on the planet, will sometimes look up in the sky when it is raining and actually drown. Wow.
All in all, a good time.
1) On the way down 5 of us hit two vineyards and ended up purchasing 3 cases (36 bottles) of wine. That's a lot of wine.
2) Sometimes a $44 bottle of wine is actually worth $44.
3) People that have been drinking a lot all day like to sing. Good times.
4) Getting pulled over for the license plate registration being expired after leaving a wine festival can be somewhat nerve racking.
5) Wine festivals are still fun even in the rain.
6) The attitude with the Bourborsville people is unbelievably shitty. "We are big enough that we don't have to care", "I've been drinking wine since I was 3" and "We aren't going to open anymore bottles to taste because it is raining". WTF? It's a wine festival you morons. Let us taste your damn wine and loose the attitude. "Too big to care". Jackass.
7) Smaller wineries are more awesome than bigger well-known ones.
8) Meritage is pronounced like heritage and is an American word.
9) Attack ducks.
10) "The frog jumps at midnight" and "the bunnies hop at midnight" are both very funny.
11) The turkey was almost the national bird.
13) You can make a wine taste like liquor (whiskey)
14) This is a story: Saturday night some of us were hanging outside before bed beneath a porch-like thing. One person was leaning back in his chair so the rain could hit his face. Someone else looked at him and said "Don't be a turkey" to which everyone else looked at her with blank stares and said "...and?". "Do you really need me to finish it?" "Yes". "Don't be a turkey...and die!". After we could breath from laughing so hard we requested an explanation as to what she was talking about. Turns out, the comment makes total sense once you know that turkey's, not being the smartest animals on the planet, will sometimes look up in the sky when it is raining and actually drown. Wow.
All in all, a good time.
Wow
I'm not sure what I'm more surprised about. That the New York Times actually did some real reporting or that they uncovered such a program.
Either way, that's not cool.
Either way, that's not cool.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
How Many Lines Of Code...
...would it take to code my personality? Think hard about it (for you coders out there) and then read this. (Even non-coder peeps will like that article)
Ya'll better not be dead to me.
Ya'll better not be dead to me.
Horrible Debate
Seriously, it took almost an hour before an actual policy question was asked? WTF? If you ever wondered how Bush was elected twice last nights debate is a prime example. My favorite 'question':
'Loves America as much as you do'. Can we PLEASE get some adults in charge and not this god damn infintile high school cool kids bullshit? I don't give a flying fuck who 'loves America' more. Loves America compared to what? How subjective can you get?
Seriously, this is bullshit. If the media can't get over the nit-picking gaffes that anyone will make and actually get to policy differences and the way in which these people may actually govern the country, they all need to be shot. The aren't serving the public and they are just allowing people like Bush and his cronies to pull one over on everyone else. How do you get people to vote against their own interests? By making it all about who is the most like them, the everyman/woman, the John/Jane Doe of America. Really, would you want to try to run the country? I sure as hell wouldn't. John Stewart was awesome the other day when he was going on about how he absolutely wants a President that is superior to him. Embarassingly superior and elite. I totally agree. I want superman/woman as the President, not some beer drinking jackass frat boy POS.
Grow up.
UPDATE: Just came across this. A less 'colorful' analysis than mine. Very good, though.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Senator, two questions. Number one, do you think Reverend Wright loves America as much as you do?
'Loves America as much as you do'. Can we PLEASE get some adults in charge and not this god damn infintile high school cool kids bullshit? I don't give a flying fuck who 'loves America' more. Loves America compared to what? How subjective can you get?
Seriously, this is bullshit. If the media can't get over the nit-picking gaffes that anyone will make and actually get to policy differences and the way in which these people may actually govern the country, they all need to be shot. The aren't serving the public and they are just allowing people like Bush and his cronies to pull one over on everyone else. How do you get people to vote against their own interests? By making it all about who is the most like them, the everyman/woman, the John/Jane Doe of America. Really, would you want to try to run the country? I sure as hell wouldn't. John Stewart was awesome the other day when he was going on about how he absolutely wants a President that is superior to him. Embarassingly superior and elite. I totally agree. I want superman/woman as the President, not some beer drinking jackass frat boy POS.
Grow up.
UPDATE: Just came across this. A less 'colorful' analysis than mine. Very good, though.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Sound Like Anyone You Know
You are courageous; and you seek challenges. You are a tough-minded, independent and daring thinker who likes to explore ideas or problems thoroughly. You focus easily. And you are persistent, systematic and competent in pursuing your interests and goals.
You are also assertive; and you enjoy the opportunities your hard work wins.
You have a lot of energy. You think quickly, make decisions more easily than most, dislike unnecessary rules, and take a rational approach to people, issues and ideas.
You don't often enjoy "small talk." You are generally not interested in pleasing boring people and you gravitate to men and women who are intellectually exciting and get to their point quickly during conversations.
You are not conventional in most of your attitudes and values. You tend to be irreverent and pragmatic and you like spontaneous people. You can be an exciting, yet hard driving and exacting, friend and companion.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Pedantic Asshole
I went to a friends house tonight in a gated community. To get in you have to go through a gate. Those that live there get a pass and can wave it in front of this thingy that'll open the gate. Those that are visiting drive up to the right of the residence entrance and entry in a code which rings the person you are visiting to let you through.
Before I get to the asshole I want to say two things. First, I didn't handle the situation as well as I should have and I know that. Second, I understand that there are problems with people 'cheating' to get through the gate and some residents get irritated about this. I would be as well.
Ok, so I'm at the guest entrance thing and I type in the code. While it dials and rings some guy in a white Jetta drives up to the resident entrance and waves his little badge thingy. I here the beeps indicating that I have been given access and I drive up to the gate kinda fast. The gate is really slow so I sit there. About two seconds later Jetta-boy guns it and flies up on me and slams on his breaks...obviously something pissed him off. The gate finally opens and I go through and haul ass over the speed bumps because I figure this guy is made at me and is now following me. He bounces over them and follows me all the way down to where I park and parks near me. The top of my Jeep is down so while I put the top back up he eventually drives up and starts talking to me.
This is where I could have handled it differently. He babbles about how I cut him off and I babble about how I was beeped in and just went to the gate and he tried to hit me. We repeat each other a couple of times, obviously making no progress, and he talks about how my friend could be written up for my actions, etc. About the third time we repeat I just say 'Bullshit' and walk away to finish putting my top up. He babbles something about not having to curse at him and then drives down to the end of the parking lot, turns around, and comes back up behind my car. I decide to approach it different and ask him 'What do you expect to get out of this' and he says 'You shouldn't have cused at me' at which point I decide the entire thing is stupid and just walk away to my friends. He writes down my license plate number so who knows what he expects to do with that.
So I relay this to my friend who laughs quite a bit and that is that. The entire episode irritates me though. I mean really, what did he expect to get out of it? We obviously have two very different, and probably valid, points of view on this. I suppose if I kept my cool we could have just talked it out but I was pretty irritated that he (a) charged me and (b) followed me all the way down to be a prick about something that amounts to nothing.
I'm also ticked because we thought of the following things I could have done that would have been much better:
1) Just driven around in circles until he got bored
2) Drive out the back gate and back on to the road
3) When he got all pissy about me cussing at him (really, that's weak) lay into him with some choice phrases about being a pendantic asshole
4) Some other really good ones I can't think of right now
Anyway, that place has issues with people being pricks and I guess people that are that high strung are going to have issues. Pity.
Before I get to the asshole I want to say two things. First, I didn't handle the situation as well as I should have and I know that. Second, I understand that there are problems with people 'cheating' to get through the gate and some residents get irritated about this. I would be as well.
Ok, so I'm at the guest entrance thing and I type in the code. While it dials and rings some guy in a white Jetta drives up to the resident entrance and waves his little badge thingy. I here the beeps indicating that I have been given access and I drive up to the gate kinda fast. The gate is really slow so I sit there. About two seconds later Jetta-boy guns it and flies up on me and slams on his breaks...obviously something pissed him off. The gate finally opens and I go through and haul ass over the speed bumps because I figure this guy is made at me and is now following me. He bounces over them and follows me all the way down to where I park and parks near me. The top of my Jeep is down so while I put the top back up he eventually drives up and starts talking to me.
This is where I could have handled it differently. He babbles about how I cut him off and I babble about how I was beeped in and just went to the gate and he tried to hit me. We repeat each other a couple of times, obviously making no progress, and he talks about how my friend could be written up for my actions, etc. About the third time we repeat I just say 'Bullshit' and walk away to finish putting my top up. He babbles something about not having to curse at him and then drives down to the end of the parking lot, turns around, and comes back up behind my car. I decide to approach it different and ask him 'What do you expect to get out of this' and he says 'You shouldn't have cused at me' at which point I decide the entire thing is stupid and just walk away to my friends. He writes down my license plate number so who knows what he expects to do with that.
So I relay this to my friend who laughs quite a bit and that is that. The entire episode irritates me though. I mean really, what did he expect to get out of it? We obviously have two very different, and probably valid, points of view on this. I suppose if I kept my cool we could have just talked it out but I was pretty irritated that he (a) charged me and (b) followed me all the way down to be a prick about something that amounts to nothing.
I'm also ticked because we thought of the following things I could have done that would have been much better:
1) Just driven around in circles until he got bored
2) Drive out the back gate and back on to the road
3) When he got all pissy about me cussing at him (really, that's weak) lay into him with some choice phrases about being a pendantic asshole
4) Some other really good ones I can't think of right now
Anyway, that place has issues with people being pricks and I guess people that are that high strung are going to have issues. Pity.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Candidate Hand Gestures
Christopher Walken analysis the candidates hand gestures here.
Choice quote:
Choice quote:
Because, as we all know, both the coinflip and the vending machine guarantee change, but only the vending machine also holds the promise of delicious Ho Hos.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Meetings
Is it too hard for the person that called for a meeting to take place at a particular time actually show up and not, I don't know, go on a walk instead?
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Addiction: Follow-up
Only a couple of comments on the first addiction post but they were good ones and brought up some stuff I missed in the first post. I wanted to respond in a new post to flesh out some of that stuff.
I think Shana's comment really illustrates the stigma addictions can create for the addicted. In addition, it brings up something I totally forgot to talk about but is so critical in addiction treatment, and that is shame. Shame comes internally from hating the power the addiction has over you and not wanting to let people know about it. It is re-enforced by people who don't know how to deal with addictions and do look upon it as a weakness. It's a huge obstacle to recovery.
It is interesting to me that Mel brought up the following:
I thought about touching on this although from a different perspective. Namely from which are more 'social acceptable' or have less stigma around them in society from my POV. I would stick drug and alcohol addiction, particularly alcohol with AA and such, at the most 'accepted' forms of addiction. Eating and gambling probably in the middle with sex addiction towards the bottom. I think cutters are more an example of personality disorder than addiction, although I suppose it could be all stuffed together. Not real sure there.
I am totally in agreement with the need for understanding the commonalities between addictions. I believe they have more in common than they do differences. The 'acting out' behavior is simply the sympton, not the cause.
Very good stuff. Keep it coming.
I think Shana's comment really illustrates the stigma addictions can create for the addicted. In addition, it brings up something I totally forgot to talk about but is so critical in addiction treatment, and that is shame. Shame comes internally from hating the power the addiction has over you and not wanting to let people know about it. It is re-enforced by people who don't know how to deal with addictions and do look upon it as a weakness. It's a huge obstacle to recovery.
It is interesting to me that Mel brought up the following:
i had a friend who spoke of the social strata of rehab: heroin and cocaine addicts, top of the totem pole. Then alcoholics, gamblers, sex addicts, others. Last, eating disorders and cutters.
I thought about touching on this although from a different perspective. Namely from which are more 'social acceptable' or have less stigma around them in society from my POV. I would stick drug and alcohol addiction, particularly alcohol with AA and such, at the most 'accepted' forms of addiction. Eating and gambling probably in the middle with sex addiction towards the bottom. I think cutters are more an example of personality disorder than addiction, although I suppose it could be all stuffed together. Not real sure there.
I am totally in agreement with the need for understanding the commonalities between addictions. I believe they have more in common than they do differences. The 'acting out' behavior is simply the sympton, not the cause.
Very good stuff. Keep it coming.
Stupid Rollouts
We started this rollout last night around 2pm. Didn't leave the office until 11 pm because the stupid server crashed and we couldn't get a hold of anyone at the Pentagon to reset it. Naturally, they reset it about 15 minutes after we left. I was up at 7:30 this morning and we are still pounding it.
Wee.
Wee.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Addiction
Addictions are nasty nasty things, but I believe they are much more prevalent than people are generally aware. Let me explain by first taking a step backward and laying down some knowledge from my perspective about addictions and their causes. This will probably ramble a bit because I don't have my thoughts really concise on this yet.
Everyone I would imagine is familiar with substance-based addictions such as alcohol or drugs. You are probably familiar with process-based addictions as well such as gambling. What is interesting about substance- and process-based addictions is that at the core they are all very tightly related, even if the method of 'acting out' is very different. So, for example, in a drug addiction the acting out behavior is getting high due to the effects of the drug itself. In a process addiction like gambling, stealing, eating, sex, etc the high is the result of the whatever the activity is being undertaken. I've always thought of process addictions as just getting high off of the body's internal chemical reactions based on acting out, as opposed to an external high from drugs or alcohol.
Anyway, at their root addictions develop as a coping strategy in order to cope or run away from something you can't or perceive yourself unable to handle. Addictions probably have a genetic component as well that make some people more susceptible to forming full-blown addictive behavior while others may be in a more escapism sorta thing. I guess what I am saying is that you don't have to be a full-blown addict whose behavior controls you to have some feel of what an addiction is like. Escapism has some on the tenants of addiction, particularly when that escapism is obsessive.
I believe that society has a pretty good grasp of drug and alcohol addiction, and that is a good thing for sure. What society does not have a grasp on is process addictions that are somehow viewed as a lack of will rather than something that is just as debilitating as a substance addiction. The stigma around these addictions is in my opinion the way the stigma around substance addictions used to be several decades ago. Let me give you an example, if a trusted friend of yours was to come to you one day and say 'I am an alcoholic.' how would you react? Now if that same person were to come to you and say 'I have a sex addiction' would that change the way you react to them? What if they said they have a problem with eating, would you view it as simply a will-power issue or something else?
The definition of addiction at Dictionary.com is:
The first part of that definition is right on in that anything can become habit-forming to the point of enslavement. This definition is probably somewhat out-of-date as a lot of the thinking on addiction has expanded to allow for process addictions that do not have the same sort of physical trauma associate with cessation. This goes back to the stigma around process addictions I was babbling about earlier. Anyway, the key point I want to make here is that process addictions can become every bit as enslaving as substance addictions and, additionally, a lot of substance addicts have process addictions and vice-versa.
Ok, so back to my original point now that I have some of the background out-of-the-way about process addictions. I believe that addiction, in particular process addiction, is pretty rampant in society. An addiction really becomes a problem when you obsess about it. When it start to interfere with social engagements and work or it starts to take over your thoughts. When you run into a stressful situation and the first thing you think of is that acting out behavior. When you start to isolate from people. Those are all signs that a behavior that has been escapist to you is or has crossed the line to an addiction. I'm willing to bet that a fair amount of people can associate with some of those things, particularly the bit about stressful situations. Does that mean you have an addiction? No. It doesn't even mean you may develop one. However, it does mean that something is going on there that needs to be looked at because rather than dealing with the situation you are looking for ways to run from it. For some, and I would argue a great many, that can eventually turn into addiction.
Anyway, look at TV, texting, video games and/or the Internet. Internet addiction is probably easily the number 1 process addiction that people just aren't aware of actually having. It has become pretty prevalent in our society. How many of you work at a company that have policies against using the Internet for anything that isn't work related? Those policies probably came into being because a few abusers were totally sucked in and either couldn't or wouldn't stop. There is a good reason why the porn industry is highly profitable and it isn't because of the story lines.
So why this post? This is a topic that I have found fascinating for many years because of the raw power that addiction has over people. It is absolutely amazing to me. The movie 'Fight Club' does a pretty good job a showing different addictions, the book does an even better job. People become addicted to power, to sex, to entertainment without ever really understanding that it is just as much an addiction as drugs or alcohol and just as hard to unravel.
I also want to see what kind of reaction it stirs up in people. There are a lot of opinions of addictions out there and a lot of experience with them directly or indirectly. If you feel safe, share some of those experiences here or with me in-person.
Everyone I would imagine is familiar with substance-based addictions such as alcohol or drugs. You are probably familiar with process-based addictions as well such as gambling. What is interesting about substance- and process-based addictions is that at the core they are all very tightly related, even if the method of 'acting out' is very different. So, for example, in a drug addiction the acting out behavior is getting high due to the effects of the drug itself. In a process addiction like gambling, stealing, eating, sex, etc the high is the result of the whatever the activity is being undertaken. I've always thought of process addictions as just getting high off of the body's internal chemical reactions based on acting out, as opposed to an external high from drugs or alcohol.
Anyway, at their root addictions develop as a coping strategy in order to cope or run away from something you can't or perceive yourself unable to handle. Addictions probably have a genetic component as well that make some people more susceptible to forming full-blown addictive behavior while others may be in a more escapism sorta thing. I guess what I am saying is that you don't have to be a full-blown addict whose behavior controls you to have some feel of what an addiction is like. Escapism has some on the tenants of addiction, particularly when that escapism is obsessive.
I believe that society has a pretty good grasp of drug and alcohol addiction, and that is a good thing for sure. What society does not have a grasp on is process addictions that are somehow viewed as a lack of will rather than something that is just as debilitating as a substance addiction. The stigma around these addictions is in my opinion the way the stigma around substance addictions used to be several decades ago. Let me give you an example, if a trusted friend of yours was to come to you one day and say 'I am an alcoholic.' how would you react? Now if that same person were to come to you and say 'I have a sex addiction' would that change the way you react to them? What if they said they have a problem with eating, would you view it as simply a will-power issue or something else?
The definition of addiction at Dictionary.com is:
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
The first part of that definition is right on in that anything can become habit-forming to the point of enslavement. This definition is probably somewhat out-of-date as a lot of the thinking on addiction has expanded to allow for process addictions that do not have the same sort of physical trauma associate with cessation. This goes back to the stigma around process addictions I was babbling about earlier. Anyway, the key point I want to make here is that process addictions can become every bit as enslaving as substance addictions and, additionally, a lot of substance addicts have process addictions and vice-versa.
Ok, so back to my original point now that I have some of the background out-of-the-way about process addictions. I believe that addiction, in particular process addiction, is pretty rampant in society. An addiction really becomes a problem when you obsess about it. When it start to interfere with social engagements and work or it starts to take over your thoughts. When you run into a stressful situation and the first thing you think of is that acting out behavior. When you start to isolate from people. Those are all signs that a behavior that has been escapist to you is or has crossed the line to an addiction. I'm willing to bet that a fair amount of people can associate with some of those things, particularly the bit about stressful situations. Does that mean you have an addiction? No. It doesn't even mean you may develop one. However, it does mean that something is going on there that needs to be looked at because rather than dealing with the situation you are looking for ways to run from it. For some, and I would argue a great many, that can eventually turn into addiction.
Anyway, look at TV, texting, video games and/or the Internet. Internet addiction is probably easily the number 1 process addiction that people just aren't aware of actually having. It has become pretty prevalent in our society. How many of you work at a company that have policies against using the Internet for anything that isn't work related? Those policies probably came into being because a few abusers were totally sucked in and either couldn't or wouldn't stop. There is a good reason why the porn industry is highly profitable and it isn't because of the story lines.
So why this post? This is a topic that I have found fascinating for many years because of the raw power that addiction has over people. It is absolutely amazing to me. The movie 'Fight Club' does a pretty good job a showing different addictions, the book does an even better job. People become addicted to power, to sex, to entertainment without ever really understanding that it is just as much an addiction as drugs or alcohol and just as hard to unravel.
I also want to see what kind of reaction it stirs up in people. There are a lot of opinions of addictions out there and a lot of experience with them directly or indirectly. If you feel safe, share some of those experiences here or with me in-person.
Medication
I was driving into work this morningish listening to NPR and this woman talk about a book she has written called 'Madness: A Bi-Polar Story' or something like that. She was talking about the medication she was on and it made me decide to write this post.
While I don't have bi-polar I do have an anxiety condition and ADHD with a splash of depression (although depression is a pretty nebulous term). My severity of these conditions isn't too bad untreated but it is enough to warrent medication.
I've talked to some people about this and many share my same reservations I had with taking medication at first. I went through various techniques (psychotherapy and acupuncture, etc) for years before I finally decided to try the medication route. While the acupuncture was very effective on my anxiety and depression, it didn't help so much on the ADHD side of things.
I don't know that I talked much about my anxiety before and I don't know that I will in this post. I will say that at one point in my life it got to the point where even standing in line at the G-Store was too much for me. That didn't turn me on to medication and, in fact, I had the anxiety somewhat under control by the time I started taking it. Not all together sure why I decided to throw that in this.
Eventually, after talking this over at length with my therapist I asked for a reference to a shrink. The guy I went to originally was exactly what you probably expect a shrink to be. Quick, 15 minute in and out with a prescription. Granted, he had my case file from my therapist but still, I hate being treated that way.
He started me on prozac and Wellbutrin. The prozac was for the ADHD and the Wellbutrin was for the anxiety/depression. He started me on the lowest doses. Both of these were effective for treating those issues but I would crash HARD around 4 pm everyday.
During this time I started to work with a life coach to try to get my life in order (read: organization). The shrink I had been seeing moved on so I need a new one. I mentioned this to my coach who referred me to a different shrink that treated the person and not the condition. My appointments with this one are close to an hour and we go over everything that is going on before adjusting medication, etc. Much more to my liking. Over time I moved from prozac to Lexapro and from the ordinary Wellbutrin to a new XL version that is slow release and lasts 24 hours. The result was no more crashing at 4 pm, yay!
Eventually Cymbalta came out that treats both serotonin and norepinephrine which previously required two medication to treat. Additionally, its a pretty small dose (25 mg or something). I just take one of those a day now and it works quite well. There is a post on my blog about the brain shocks you get if you stop taking it cold turkey, wicked stuff those.
I tell you all of that to tell you this: Sometimes I wonder if the medication makes me not me but some weird pseudo-me. I think that is a fear for a lot of people considering this and it is a valid fear. The radio progam I was listening to this morning brought this up as well and the woman put the conclusion I guess I came to a while ago for succiently. What she realized was that when you are not taking the medication the person you are is sick, the medication allows the real you to come out and I agree with that. The only reason someone might even be going through doubts about taking meds is because they know something is keeping them from being who they really are. Medication is a way to realize that person.
Let me describe something else that might help. When I was off my medication I would have some pretty large swings in mood. Not bi-polar levels because I wouldn't be manic but I would experience large levels of anxiety and dread, lots of catastrophising and what-if'ing everything. What the medication has done is it takes that edge off. My personality hasn't changed but has instead leveled out. My reactions to situations are more paced and in proportion to the situation where before they would sometimes be very out of proportion (both over and under reacting). The way I picture it is if I were to draw a picture of a line that waves up and down, kinda like a sine curve, those highs and lows would represent those peeks where I over/under react to situations. The medication sorta caps those highs and lows so my reactions happen within a smaller range.
Addtionally, the ADHD side of me still functions but in a more good way now. I still can juggle multiple topics and think out-of-the-box, etc but I am able to focus better when it matters. It isn't so much of a grey fog like it used to be. That isn't to say that doesn't happen, but it is more manageable now.
Wow, this was a lot longer than I had intended. In any case, if anyone is dealing with whether or not to try medication then by all means ask questions!
While I don't have bi-polar I do have an anxiety condition and ADHD with a splash of depression (although depression is a pretty nebulous term). My severity of these conditions isn't too bad untreated but it is enough to warrent medication.
I've talked to some people about this and many share my same reservations I had with taking medication at first. I went through various techniques (psychotherapy and acupuncture, etc) for years before I finally decided to try the medication route. While the acupuncture was very effective on my anxiety and depression, it didn't help so much on the ADHD side of things.
I don't know that I talked much about my anxiety before and I don't know that I will in this post. I will say that at one point in my life it got to the point where even standing in line at the G-Store was too much for me. That didn't turn me on to medication and, in fact, I had the anxiety somewhat under control by the time I started taking it. Not all together sure why I decided to throw that in this.
Eventually, after talking this over at length with my therapist I asked for a reference to a shrink. The guy I went to originally was exactly what you probably expect a shrink to be. Quick, 15 minute in and out with a prescription. Granted, he had my case file from my therapist but still, I hate being treated that way.
He started me on prozac and Wellbutrin. The prozac was for the ADHD and the Wellbutrin was for the anxiety/depression. He started me on the lowest doses. Both of these were effective for treating those issues but I would crash HARD around 4 pm everyday.
During this time I started to work with a life coach to try to get my life in order (read: organization). The shrink I had been seeing moved on so I need a new one. I mentioned this to my coach who referred me to a different shrink that treated the person and not the condition. My appointments with this one are close to an hour and we go over everything that is going on before adjusting medication, etc. Much more to my liking. Over time I moved from prozac to Lexapro and from the ordinary Wellbutrin to a new XL version that is slow release and lasts 24 hours. The result was no more crashing at 4 pm, yay!
Eventually Cymbalta came out that treats both serotonin and norepinephrine which previously required two medication to treat. Additionally, its a pretty small dose (25 mg or something). I just take one of those a day now and it works quite well. There is a post on my blog about the brain shocks you get if you stop taking it cold turkey, wicked stuff those.
I tell you all of that to tell you this: Sometimes I wonder if the medication makes me not me but some weird pseudo-me. I think that is a fear for a lot of people considering this and it is a valid fear. The radio progam I was listening to this morning brought this up as well and the woman put the conclusion I guess I came to a while ago for succiently. What she realized was that when you are not taking the medication the person you are is sick, the medication allows the real you to come out and I agree with that. The only reason someone might even be going through doubts about taking meds is because they know something is keeping them from being who they really are. Medication is a way to realize that person.
Let me describe something else that might help. When I was off my medication I would have some pretty large swings in mood. Not bi-polar levels because I wouldn't be manic but I would experience large levels of anxiety and dread, lots of catastrophising and what-if'ing everything. What the medication has done is it takes that edge off. My personality hasn't changed but has instead leveled out. My reactions to situations are more paced and in proportion to the situation where before they would sometimes be very out of proportion (both over and under reacting). The way I picture it is if I were to draw a picture of a line that waves up and down, kinda like a sine curve, those highs and lows would represent those peeks where I over/under react to situations. The medication sorta caps those highs and lows so my reactions happen within a smaller range.
Addtionally, the ADHD side of me still functions but in a more good way now. I still can juggle multiple topics and think out-of-the-box, etc but I am able to focus better when it matters. It isn't so much of a grey fog like it used to be. That isn't to say that doesn't happen, but it is more manageable now.
Wow, this was a lot longer than I had intended. In any case, if anyone is dealing with whether or not to try medication then by all means ask questions!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
RANT: Perl
So I have this contract, right? They have a system that has two parts, a wall as it were. On one side of the wall is the company I do the work for and my stuff sits. On the other side of the wall is another company they have been working with forever who handles a different part of their business. Normally these two sides don't have to communicate much but there are some places where they do. Typically it is my side throwing information over to their side.
Ok, so what does this have to do with Perl? Because the other side of the wall insists on using Perl and only Perl. WTF! Seriously, come out of the 90's. Perl is great for patching shit together but it totally is not suitable for enterprise level applications. This is experience talking here. Years ago I worked for a company whose entire system was written in Perl. I even rewrote the entire thing in Perl. Eventually we moved to .Net because it actually works on an Enterprise level without having to fricken jury-rig everything under the sun.
Anyway, why is this bothering the heck out of me right now? Because certain people on the other side of that wall seem to be working to undermine my efforts on my side of the wall. They are contractors, as am I, so I understand the sentiment. However, it's fricken Perl! WTFBBQPWNED! Dorks. Wait, I was going to give you some specific examples.
Example 1: We have two separate databases even though a lot of data is duplicated (seriously...why do people insist on doing things the hard way...that's a different rant). They wanted to synch their database to ours on a nightly basis but since they are using MySQL (which I have no problems with and like) and we are using SQL Server we couldn't easily schedule a replication process. So I suggested that I could setup a web service to allow them to pull data from us nightly or weekly or whatever and they could do whatever they wanted with it. A web service is a STANDARD method of B2B communications that has been around for quite a while now. It is a mature method for languages that are capable of being fricken standard. Wow, the anger. So I setup this web service and, surprise of surprises, they can't consume it because Perl is shit. Eventually they figure it out and all is well. This leads directly to...
Example 2: My side of the wall is in competition with some other companies to land a contract with a well-known company to provide them with data. During the intial conversations I, once again because it fricken works, sugggest that we use a web service to transfer the data. They agree. I also suggest, because of Example 1, that before we sign any contracts or whatever that we have a communications test to make sure they can actually consume a web-service since they are using some propritary language that I am not familiar with. Again, they agree. After that meeting but before the communication test we have another meeting, this time the guy that runs the company on the other side of the wall is involved because we will need to pass information over to him. We kinda go over the plan to use a web serivce and he goes 'Well, are you sure you can make that work? I know you had trouble with that when we tried to implement it.' Can you believe that shit! Fucking Perl guru punkass. I didn't have any problems, the issues were on their side because they insist on using FUCKING PERL. To quote Team America: Jesus Christ Titty Fucking.
So we move forward, have the communications test, have some minor issues on their end that were quickly resolved...WHAM, communication works. Funny how mature standard business practices work, aren't they? Everyones happy and then I hear from the person running the show on my side of the fence that there are doubts that what we want to do isn't possible. I'm like 'What?' and she's like 'Yea, are we sure it is possible?' and I'm like 'This is rocket sceince. It is pretty straight-forward and the hard part is over (the communications test)' and she's like 'Yea, that is what I thought'. Well, guess where the doubt is coming from...you guessed it, Perl world! No shit they would think it isn't possible, it's fucking PERL!
Wow. Just wow. And let's not forget that this other group seem to have a habit of overstressing how difficult things are going to be to change. Actually, now that I think about it, I bet they aren't overstressing. It probably is just that hard because its FUCKING PERL.
Ok, Rant over.
Ok, so what does this have to do with Perl? Because the other side of the wall insists on using Perl and only Perl. WTF! Seriously, come out of the 90's. Perl is great for patching shit together but it totally is not suitable for enterprise level applications. This is experience talking here. Years ago I worked for a company whose entire system was written in Perl. I even rewrote the entire thing in Perl. Eventually we moved to .Net because it actually works on an Enterprise level without having to fricken jury-rig everything under the sun.
Anyway, why is this bothering the heck out of me right now? Because certain people on the other side of that wall seem to be working to undermine my efforts on my side of the wall. They are contractors, as am I, so I understand the sentiment. However, it's fricken Perl! WTFBBQPWNED! Dorks. Wait, I was going to give you some specific examples.
Example 1: We have two separate databases even though a lot of data is duplicated (seriously...why do people insist on doing things the hard way...that's a different rant). They wanted to synch their database to ours on a nightly basis but since they are using MySQL (which I have no problems with and like) and we are using SQL Server we couldn't easily schedule a replication process. So I suggested that I could setup a web service to allow them to pull data from us nightly or weekly or whatever and they could do whatever they wanted with it. A web service is a STANDARD method of B2B communications that has been around for quite a while now. It is a mature method for languages that are capable of being fricken standard. Wow, the anger. So I setup this web service and, surprise of surprises, they can't consume it because Perl is shit. Eventually they figure it out and all is well. This leads directly to...
Example 2: My side of the wall is in competition with some other companies to land a contract with a well-known company to provide them with data. During the intial conversations I, once again because it fricken works, sugggest that we use a web service to transfer the data. They agree. I also suggest, because of Example 1, that before we sign any contracts or whatever that we have a communications test to make sure they can actually consume a web-service since they are using some propritary language that I am not familiar with. Again, they agree. After that meeting but before the communication test we have another meeting, this time the guy that runs the company on the other side of the wall is involved because we will need to pass information over to him. We kinda go over the plan to use a web serivce and he goes 'Well, are you sure you can make that work? I know you had trouble with that when we tried to implement it.' Can you believe that shit! Fucking Perl guru punkass. I didn't have any problems, the issues were on their side because they insist on using FUCKING PERL. To quote Team America: Jesus Christ Titty Fucking.
So we move forward, have the communications test, have some minor issues on their end that were quickly resolved...WHAM, communication works. Funny how mature standard business practices work, aren't they? Everyones happy and then I hear from the person running the show on my side of the fence that there are doubts that what we want to do isn't possible. I'm like 'What?' and she's like 'Yea, are we sure it is possible?' and I'm like 'This is rocket sceince. It is pretty straight-forward and the hard part is over (the communications test)' and she's like 'Yea, that is what I thought'. Well, guess where the doubt is coming from...you guessed it, Perl world! No shit they would think it isn't possible, it's fucking PERL!
Wow. Just wow. And let's not forget that this other group seem to have a habit of overstressing how difficult things are going to be to change. Actually, now that I think about it, I bet they aren't overstressing. It probably is just that hard because its FUCKING PERL.
Ok, Rant over.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Not Myself
I was at a part Friday night that, overall, was a goodtime. However, there was a period in the middle that wasn't so fun and a learned a couple of things about myself. Maybe not so much learned as clarified or even re-learned.
Anyway, I let someone else's drama affect me in a way I haven't in quite some time. As a result, the evil passive-aggressive twin came out for a time until I was able to regain some balance. I didn't like it and it still bothers me to the point where I felt I had to write about it at yet another get together so I can put it to rest.
The two things I learned were:
1) I don't like playing board games
2) No matter how much better I am staying balanced in myself and just going with what happens, sometimes I still let something in too close that knocks me off balance.
It's like aspects of my personality that were much more relavent in my past come back (the evil twin, as I call it) and then whatever the original thing that knocked me out of kilter gets magnified by my reaction to all of that old shit.
There is something else floating around in there I can't put my finger on...oh right. So I became all cynical, not the funny cynical but the asshole cynical, and I just tried to keep my mouth shut and not say anything because I knew it would be cutting and ugly. Eventually, someone pulled my into a more politcal conversation one-on-one and that more comfortable ground helped me center again so all was good.
I'd like to toss out an apology to anyone that was there that may have been offended. It was my own shit that I was mostly reacting to and you saw a side of me that doesn't show up too often.
Live and learn.
Anyway, I let someone else's drama affect me in a way I haven't in quite some time. As a result, the evil passive-aggressive twin came out for a time until I was able to regain some balance. I didn't like it and it still bothers me to the point where I felt I had to write about it at yet another get together so I can put it to rest.
The two things I learned were:
1) I don't like playing board games
2) No matter how much better I am staying balanced in myself and just going with what happens, sometimes I still let something in too close that knocks me off balance.
It's like aspects of my personality that were much more relavent in my past come back (the evil twin, as I call it) and then whatever the original thing that knocked me out of kilter gets magnified by my reaction to all of that old shit.
There is something else floating around in there I can't put my finger on...oh right. So I became all cynical, not the funny cynical but the asshole cynical, and I just tried to keep my mouth shut and not say anything because I knew it would be cutting and ugly. Eventually, someone pulled my into a more politcal conversation one-on-one and that more comfortable ground helped me center again so all was good.
I'd like to toss out an apology to anyone that was there that may have been offended. It was my own shit that I was mostly reacting to and you saw a side of me that doesn't show up too often.
Live and learn.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The Surge
I don't remember if I wrote much about the surge in Iraq but I'm going to now for reasons that will become clear in a moment.
When we were talking about going to Iraq originally, one of the General's that were responsible for coming up with a plan said it would required 350,000 troops and several years before the country would become stable after the invasion. He was immediately canned by the administration.
We go in with a force about 1/3 of that and all hell breaks loose. So then we get the bright idea that maybe we need more troops. Wow! If only someone thought of that before! Anyway, so we send in more troops which becomes known as The Surge.
About the same time, a fellow by the name of al-Sadr decided to give us a gift. al-Sadr is the dude behind the major Shi'te militias and had been beating on the Sunni forces for sometime (the civil war) and taking shots at American troops. It was his forces that, in no small part, were cranking up the US causalities before the war.
So what is the gift he gave us? A cease-fire. A 7-month cease-fire that looks like it ended yesterday.
I maintain, and have for a while, that while putting extra troops on the ground certainly helped, it was the cease-fire that more or less corresponded with the 'success' of the surge that was ultimately responsible. If I'm right, and if the cease-fire has truly ended (which I believe it has), American causalities will start to rise again and the 'success' of the surge will unfortunately be shown for what it really was.
Here is an article about the end of the cease-fire.
Sooner or later the powers that be need to understand that we either aren't capable or, more likely, aren't willing to do what is necessary to stabilize the country and just need to pull out. The war in Afghanistan, which actually has ramifications on our security, is failing and needs to be readdressed.
When we were talking about going to Iraq originally, one of the General's that were responsible for coming up with a plan said it would required 350,000 troops and several years before the country would become stable after the invasion. He was immediately canned by the administration.
We go in with a force about 1/3 of that and all hell breaks loose. So then we get the bright idea that maybe we need more troops. Wow! If only someone thought of that before! Anyway, so we send in more troops which becomes known as The Surge.
About the same time, a fellow by the name of al-Sadr decided to give us a gift. al-Sadr is the dude behind the major Shi'te militias and had been beating on the Sunni forces for sometime (the civil war) and taking shots at American troops. It was his forces that, in no small part, were cranking up the US causalities before the war.
So what is the gift he gave us? A cease-fire. A 7-month cease-fire that looks like it ended yesterday.
I maintain, and have for a while, that while putting extra troops on the ground certainly helped, it was the cease-fire that more or less corresponded with the 'success' of the surge that was ultimately responsible. If I'm right, and if the cease-fire has truly ended (which I believe it has), American causalities will start to rise again and the 'success' of the surge will unfortunately be shown for what it really was.
Here is an article about the end of the cease-fire.
Sooner or later the powers that be need to understand that we either aren't capable or, more likely, aren't willing to do what is necessary to stabilize the country and just need to pull out. The war in Afghanistan, which actually has ramifications on our security, is failing and needs to be readdressed.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
"It’s just hitchhiking under the Big Tent"
Bwhahahahahahahahaha.
Would it help if I told you it is a quote from George Carlin?
Would it help if I told you it is a quote from George Carlin?
Monday, March 24, 2008
9ASCAP
I was driving to work this morning when this popped up where it usually displays my mileage. I was like 'huh?'.
I checked the one thing I thought it might be referring to but didn't see anything wrong. So I turned around and went home to look it up on the internets to see if my car was going to blow up or something.
It turns out my first thought was right. 9ASCAP means "GASCAP".
I guess a sensor died on it or something. Oh well, live and learn.
I checked the one thing I thought it might be referring to but didn't see anything wrong. So I turned around and went home to look it up on the internets to see if my car was going to blow up or something.
It turns out my first thought was right. 9ASCAP means "GASCAP".
I guess a sensor died on it or something. Oh well, live and learn.
Economic Stimulus Package Analogy
I heard this analogy about why the Economic Stimulus Package won't do much to help the economy a few weeks ago and have been meaning to write it.
Basically, if you look at the Iraq War spending as a leak in a pool and the tax cuts and preventing any new water from being put in the pool, then the stimulus package is the equivalent of trying to keep the pool full of water by taking water out of the deep end and putting it in the shallow end.
Until you a) fix the leak (end war funding or cut it back to something manageable) and b) add more water (let the tax cuts expire) the water level in the pool is going to keep dropping.
Basically, if you look at the Iraq War spending as a leak in a pool and the tax cuts and preventing any new water from being put in the pool, then the stimulus package is the equivalent of trying to keep the pool full of water by taking water out of the deep end and putting it in the shallow end.
Until you a) fix the leak (end war funding or cut it back to something manageable) and b) add more water (let the tax cuts expire) the water level in the pool is going to keep dropping.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Media and Trust
I was talking to my boss the other day and we got into a discussion about the media, one of my favorite topics. He has a bit of a libertarian bent which is fun to debate but this conversation we were more or less in agreement eventually.
Basically I was talking about how I think once the major tv and print media became parts of corporations they lost a lot of independence that is necessary to make this a functioning democracy. I also maintained that the Internerd and the blogs that populate it are starting to fill in that gap. I pointed to Talking Points Memo's recent Polk Award win as proof of this.
Originally he argued that he believes blogs are mostly opinion and don't have the same...and he struggled here but in essence I think he was looking for the word 'official'...feel to them. That's a good point on the surface, but I think what it really comes down to is trust.
The media, back when it was actually independent and was more interested in investigative journalism into abuses instead of sex, engendered a lot of trust. The corporatization of the media and the obsessive focus on the stupid stuff instead of the important stuff has violated a lot of the trust for a lot of Americans.
Meanwhile, the blogs have started to gain people's trust. It has been slow but it is increasing and pretty rapidly. As the media gets further and further out-of-touch the trend will continue and I believe that can only be good for our democracy in general.
Anyway, it was a cool conversation and I think the trust argument makes a lot of sense. I'm glad he pushed me into developing it.
Basically I was talking about how I think once the major tv and print media became parts of corporations they lost a lot of independence that is necessary to make this a functioning democracy. I also maintained that the Internerd and the blogs that populate it are starting to fill in that gap. I pointed to Talking Points Memo's recent Polk Award win as proof of this.
Originally he argued that he believes blogs are mostly opinion and don't have the same...and he struggled here but in essence I think he was looking for the word 'official'...feel to them. That's a good point on the surface, but I think what it really comes down to is trust.
The media, back when it was actually independent and was more interested in investigative journalism into abuses instead of sex, engendered a lot of trust. The corporatization of the media and the obsessive focus on the stupid stuff instead of the important stuff has violated a lot of the trust for a lot of Americans.
Meanwhile, the blogs have started to gain people's trust. It has been slow but it is increasing and pretty rapidly. As the media gets further and further out-of-touch the trend will continue and I believe that can only be good for our democracy in general.
Anyway, it was a cool conversation and I think the trust argument makes a lot of sense. I'm glad he pushed me into developing it.
Army of Darkness
Before this guy, this guy and this guy did this, this, this or this. They did this and, more to the point, this.
Friends that I grew up with in High School know my love for the Evil Dead series and those three fellows. It came up last night and I decided to subject some people to 'Army of Darkness' last night...the Director's Cut.
Unfortunately, the Director's Cut is the original version of the film before the studio came in and made them make some modifications. As a result, one of the best lines in the movie was missing ('Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun') and it was the original downer ending. The ending involving Ask firing a shotgun 57 times without reloading inside of a Walmart clone was missing. Suckage.
Mel and I were talking about it on the walk home to my house and I explained why I found it so entertaining. As a whole, it's an OK movie at best. However, what you can see in it is the transitional period Sam Raimi was going through that led to the big movies he has done recently. To me that is fascinating. Plus, the sense of humor is right on my level as well.
The friends I watched it with decided that it was an interesting look into part of my head. I think they feel like they won't have to see the studio ending...silly people. ;)
Friends that I grew up with in High School know my love for the Evil Dead series and those three fellows. It came up last night and I decided to subject some people to 'Army of Darkness' last night...the Director's Cut.
Unfortunately, the Director's Cut is the original version of the film before the studio came in and made them make some modifications. As a result, one of the best lines in the movie was missing ('Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun') and it was the original downer ending. The ending involving Ask firing a shotgun 57 times without reloading inside of a Walmart clone was missing. Suckage.
Mel and I were talking about it on the walk home to my house and I explained why I found it so entertaining. As a whole, it's an OK movie at best. However, what you can see in it is the transitional period Sam Raimi was going through that led to the big movies he has done recently. To me that is fascinating. Plus, the sense of humor is right on my level as well.
The friends I watched it with decided that it was an interesting look into part of my head. I think they feel like they won't have to see the studio ending...silly people. ;)
Meetings
I was in a 10 hour meeting yesterday and a 5 hour meetings today. All in all these haven't been too bad as they have been pretty focused and not wondering around all over the place.
However, towards the end-of-the-day yesterday the filter I have between my brain and my mouth that usually works pretty well during the day faded away. I became somewhat snarky during the last part of the day leading to a comment from my boss along the lines of 'You sure do get grumpy in a long meeting'. I found that funny.
Today, for a brief moment, I thought I crossed a line. The client, who has a very good sense of humor, was asking where a copy machine was. He then asked if it was one of those that you could lift the lid on to copy stuff. I found that my filter still hadn't returned because out came 'Do you want to photo copy your butt?'. There was a brief pause, a look from my boss, and then laughter.
So...yea.
However, towards the end-of-the-day yesterday the filter I have between my brain and my mouth that usually works pretty well during the day faded away. I became somewhat snarky during the last part of the day leading to a comment from my boss along the lines of 'You sure do get grumpy in a long meeting'. I found that funny.
Today, for a brief moment, I thought I crossed a line. The client, who has a very good sense of humor, was asking where a copy machine was. He then asked if it was one of those that you could lift the lid on to copy stuff. I found that my filter still hadn't returned because out came 'Do you want to photo copy your butt?'. There was a brief pause, a look from my boss, and then laughter.
So...yea.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Out Of The Wood Work
I used to work at a place called Postal Innovations. It was quite the learning experience for me. In any case, I developed a friendship with most of the people I worked with there over time. I've lost contact with them over time, unfortunately.
So it was very surprising when, in the span of a week, two of them contacted me out-of-the-blue. And, even better, one of them has been following me via this blog for a while...although not commenting. Punk.
And get this, one of these friends passed the blog on to a friend of his who also enjoys reading it. That's awesome and I would just like to say to his friend that I forgot to take my medicine today, so no need to guess. ;)
Welcome all.
So it was very surprising when, in the span of a week, two of them contacted me out-of-the-blue. And, even better, one of them has been following me via this blog for a while...although not commenting. Punk.
And get this, one of these friends passed the blog on to a friend of his who also enjoys reading it. That's awesome and I would just like to say to his friend that I forgot to take my medicine today, so no need to guess. ;)
Welcome all.
Monday, March 17, 2008
This Seems Alarming
I'm not an economist, but this seems like a bad thing. Bad thing like crossing the streams bad.
That is the state of liquid reserves available in the Federal Reserve System. I believe this is the system that is in place to prevent a depression by being able to bailout industries that are tanking. I could be wrong, but I think that is the purpose.
Anyway, does that chart give anyone else a chill?
That is the state of liquid reserves available in the Federal Reserve System. I believe this is the system that is in place to prevent a depression by being able to bailout industries that are tanking. I could be wrong, but I think that is the purpose.
Anyway, does that chart give anyone else a chill?
Experience
One of the major arguements against Obamarama is that he doesn't have the experience necessary for the job. There are different types of experience, of course, and the one that seems to come up the most is that of foreign relations.
I'd like to ask a question. What foreign relations experience do McCain (and HRC, for that matter) have that so overwhelms Obama's, exactly? Being a senator is not foreign relations expereince as far as I know. It seems to me that if you aren't a diplomat or in the State Department you don't have a lot of foreign relations experience just because you have been a senator longer than god.
And how the heck is being a POW foreign relations exeperience? That's experience being a prisoner.
Somebody lay some knowledge on me because this whole arguement sounds pretty weak when you get down to the specifics.
I'd like to ask a question. What foreign relations experience do McCain (and HRC, for that matter) have that so overwhelms Obama's, exactly? Being a senator is not foreign relations expereince as far as I know. It seems to me that if you aren't a diplomat or in the State Department you don't have a lot of foreign relations experience just because you have been a senator longer than god.
And how the heck is being a POW foreign relations exeperience? That's experience being a prisoner.
Somebody lay some knowledge on me because this whole arguement sounds pretty weak when you get down to the specifics.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Analogies, Self Help and Football
So I was taking a shower this morning, where I do my best thinking, and the following occurred to me in this order:
1) You could probably use football and/or a car as an analogy for anything.
2) How awesome would it be to have a Self Help book that uses football as the vehicle? Self Help for Football Fans! It could be an entire series. Self Help for Linux Administrators, etc.
3) Wow, this water is hot.
1) You could probably use football and/or a car as an analogy for anything.
2) How awesome would it be to have a Self Help book that uses football as the vehicle? Self Help for Football Fans! It could be an entire series. Self Help for Linux Administrators, etc.
3) Wow, this water is hot.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
How Should I Take This?
So I was standing outside while my co-worker/boss person was smoking a cig. Three of the others fellows I work with came out and were going to take a walk. They invited us to go along and we said no. I happened to say that I couldn't because 'I had too much work to do'. One of the guys gave me a weird wtf the sorta look that I sort of expect from him when I make a joke and off they went.
I mentioned to my co-worker/boss person that 'I don't think Sachin knows what to make of me.'. He laughed and said 'I don't think any of them do. They don't have Ryan's in India'.
I thought about this for a moment and then said 'I'm not sure how to take that.'
I think I shall take it as a complement. :)
I mentioned to my co-worker/boss person that 'I don't think Sachin knows what to make of me.'. He laughed and said 'I don't think any of them do. They don't have Ryan's in India'.
I thought about this for a moment and then said 'I'm not sure how to take that.'
I think I shall take it as a complement. :)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Who Won Last Week Again?
Obama Clinton
OH 66 75
RI 8 13
VT 9 6
TX 99 94
WY 7 5
Total 189 193
This is from Obama's website. HRC doesn't have a similar breakdown, unfortunately.
4 delegates. And if you count the three super's that Obama picked up the lead from last week is down to 1. And if you include the vacant super seat in WY that is picked by the caucuses, it's a wash.
So in what way was this the 'Week from Hell' for Obama?
Evil Time Change
So I've been working with a customer on a new contract that they want to setup for a rather large client of theirs. This has been going back and forth for a couple of weeks now with teleconferences and emails. This morning at 10:30 we were to have what would probably be the final meeting before we kicked it off. The meeting was to consist of myself, the person handling the contract on our side, her counterpart and their developer. We were going to finalize requirements and a timeframe.
Well, I missed it. And didn't just miss it a little bit, either. I missed the three phone calls of people trying to reach me wondering where I was. I missed the emails and the voicemails. It was a total and utter whif.
What happened? The damn time change happened. Well, that and I totally forgot about the call and slept through my alarm. It was the perfect storm. Just check out how many different ways if I did something just a little bit different crisis could have been overted:
1) I could have read my email even once this weekend. Normally I do, for whatever reason I decided not to this weekend. I even thought I _should_ last night but ignored it. Will I ever learn?
2) I could have gotten up at 10 am when I woke up. At that point I would have only been 30 minutes late and the time change thing could have addressed that. But no, I wanted to sleep more!
Ok, so really only two things but it felt like a lot more.
Anyway, I talked to the person who manages my contract with our client first and then talked to the person that runs the contract for the client on our side of the fence. Not a happy camper. And it was that 'quite psuedo-calm voice' deal too. I decided to go with the truth instead of an excuse. That went over like a lead balloon. It went back and forth a while with me humbly taking it up the ass in a very calm manner, then she hung up on me. Hung up! Wow, that was just...wow.
In any case, the call has been rescheduled to 2 pm today at which point I get to try to smooth it over with the customer as well.
Fricken annoying time change.
Well, I missed it. And didn't just miss it a little bit, either. I missed the three phone calls of people trying to reach me wondering where I was. I missed the emails and the voicemails. It was a total and utter whif.
What happened? The damn time change happened. Well, that and I totally forgot about the call and slept through my alarm. It was the perfect storm. Just check out how many different ways if I did something just a little bit different crisis could have been overted:
1) I could have read my email even once this weekend. Normally I do, for whatever reason I decided not to this weekend. I even thought I _should_ last night but ignored it. Will I ever learn?
2) I could have gotten up at 10 am when I woke up. At that point I would have only been 30 minutes late and the time change thing could have addressed that. But no, I wanted to sleep more!
Ok, so really only two things but it felt like a lot more.
Anyway, I talked to the person who manages my contract with our client first and then talked to the person that runs the contract for the client on our side of the fence. Not a happy camper. And it was that 'quite psuedo-calm voice' deal too. I decided to go with the truth instead of an excuse. That went over like a lead balloon. It went back and forth a while with me humbly taking it up the ass in a very calm manner, then she hung up on me. Hung up! Wow, that was just...wow.
In any case, the call has been rescheduled to 2 pm today at which point I get to try to smooth it over with the customer as well.
Fricken annoying time change.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Florida and Michigan
So back when the various states were jocking around and trying to become relevant in the primaries, Florida and Michigan tried to leap frog NH and Iowa. Before they did this, the DNC - which runs the primaries and scheduling - told them that if they did this their primaries would not count and their delegates would not be seated. They went ahead and did it anyway.
Now, even before the primaries started all the candidates knew that FL and MI broke the rules and thus, were not in-play. In fact, all of them pulled their names off the ballots in both states and didn't campaign there at all except for HRC. So when FL and MI held their pointless primary, HRC won. Big surprise.
So now we are in this situation where you have the HRC people demanding that those delegates be counted. How very fricken convenient that she was totally unopposed in those elections. Actually, I think the MI one had the Undecideds make up something like 30% of the voting electorate.
Anyway, this is what it boils down to. That whole demand is bullshit and playing unfairly. If FL and MI wanted to count they shouldn't have broken the rules. It isn't like they didn't know what the consequences were going to be. A straight reseating of delegates that were elected in an unopposed primary amounts to gaming the system and cheating.
Therefore, if the states want to pay for the primary let them have one in June and make it a real primary. Both campaigns should actually, you know, campaign in those states and give the voters the option to actually vote for the candidate they want, not just choose between HRC and Undecided in a primary that didn't count.
This whole ploy by the HRC campaign is just another example of what bothers the crap out of my about the way they are running. It's underhanded and cheap.
Play fair, win fair, or go home.
Now, even before the primaries started all the candidates knew that FL and MI broke the rules and thus, were not in-play. In fact, all of them pulled their names off the ballots in both states and didn't campaign there at all except for HRC. So when FL and MI held their pointless primary, HRC won. Big surprise.
So now we are in this situation where you have the HRC people demanding that those delegates be counted. How very fricken convenient that she was totally unopposed in those elections. Actually, I think the MI one had the Undecideds make up something like 30% of the voting electorate.
Anyway, this is what it boils down to. That whole demand is bullshit and playing unfairly. If FL and MI wanted to count they shouldn't have broken the rules. It isn't like they didn't know what the consequences were going to be. A straight reseating of delegates that were elected in an unopposed primary amounts to gaming the system and cheating.
Therefore, if the states want to pay for the primary let them have one in June and make it a real primary. Both campaigns should actually, you know, campaign in those states and give the voters the option to actually vote for the candidate they want, not just choose between HRC and Undecided in a primary that didn't count.
This whole ploy by the HRC campaign is just another example of what bothers the crap out of my about the way they are running. It's underhanded and cheap.
Play fair, win fair, or go home.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Can I Work Here Please
Love these ideas. Would be awesome if they caught on. I don't know that it would work for everyone but I think for the right type of people, it's spot on.
kthxbai
kthxbai
More on Obama's Grassroots
Rolling Stone released this very nice article that goes into the Obama ground game and why it is so revolutionary. If you are interested in why, win or loose, the way his campaign is hopefully changing the way the Dems run campaigns and the fullfillment of Dean's 50 State strategy, this'll give you a lot of good information.
Race Results
Just a couple of notes.
The delegates are still being counted and the numbers will probably change a bit since the Texas caucuses are still being counted, but right now the total counts for the four states are:
Clinton 191
Obama 178
HRC managed to turn around the ship a bit but not nearly enough yet. Unless Obama self-destructs he is still the leader by 148 delegates with 560 left to be handed out. HRC will need to win by bigger margins if she wants to close the lead. Plus, there is no reason to believe the super delegates are going to buck the popular delegate count, not if they don't want to screw the party for years.
PA is up next and I think it may be the only one that day. That'll be crazy.
One other point, the turn out. I haven't looked at the numbers today but last night both HRC and Obama, individually, had twice as many votes as McCain. That's nuts.
The delegates are still being counted and the numbers will probably change a bit since the Texas caucuses are still being counted, but right now the total counts for the four states are:
Clinton 191
Obama 178
HRC managed to turn around the ship a bit but not nearly enough yet. Unless Obama self-destructs he is still the leader by 148 delegates with 560 left to be handed out. HRC will need to win by bigger margins if she wants to close the lead. Plus, there is no reason to believe the super delegates are going to buck the popular delegate count, not if they don't want to screw the party for years.
PA is up next and I think it may be the only one that day. That'll be crazy.
One other point, the turn out. I haven't looked at the numbers today but last night both HRC and Obama, individually, had twice as many votes as McCain. That's nuts.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Transformation Politics - Different Standards
This article by one of my favorite political bloggers basically talks about why, with the possibility of the left getting back into the White House, there are suddenly calls for bi-partisanship and the like. Where were these calls during the last 7 years, etc.
It's a good topic and an important point, and it should be kept in mind going forward. Partisanship is good and healthy when practiced in good faith. Bi-partisanship for the sake of being bi-partisan is much more damaging. The entire point of having different parties and partisans is because people just DO NOT AGREE on certain key issues. Deal with it.
It's a good topic and an important point, and it should be kept in mind going forward. Partisanship is good and healthy when practiced in good faith. Bi-partisanship for the sake of being bi-partisan is much more damaging. The entire point of having different parties and partisans is because people just DO NOT AGREE on certain key issues. Deal with it.
McCain Pandering
I said I would start talking about McCain some and this is the first in what will probably be a fair amount of posts on McCain, particularly once the general election gets underway. McCain has a reputation of being a straight-talker and maverick that stands up to the crazies. While this may have been true a decade ago, it certainly is no longer. This article is a good start to understand how, like any other politician who has been in Washington for a long time, his opinion shifts with the wind.
The reason this is an issue with McCain, or should be, is because he frames himself as someone that doesn't do exactly what it is he is doing. He is doing exactly what he accused Romney of doing...changing his song to match what people want to hear.
A story the Times published a week or two ago about a possible improper relationship with a lobbyist wasn't important because it implied he may have been screwing around on his 2nd wife - which he admitted to doing quite a bit with his 1st, btw - no, it was important because it showed just how connected he is to lobbyists despite the image he tries to portray.
And now the guy is trying to bypass the rules setup in one of the key pieces of legislation he passed on finance reform.
This is not a straight talker by any stretch of the imagination and maverick only in the eyes of the press.
More to come.
The reason this is an issue with McCain, or should be, is because he frames himself as someone that doesn't do exactly what it is he is doing. He is doing exactly what he accused Romney of doing...changing his song to match what people want to hear.
A story the Times published a week or two ago about a possible improper relationship with a lobbyist wasn't important because it implied he may have been screwing around on his 2nd wife - which he admitted to doing quite a bit with his 1st, btw - no, it was important because it showed just how connected he is to lobbyists despite the image he tries to portray.
And now the guy is trying to bypass the rules setup in one of the key pieces of legislation he passed on finance reform.
This is not a straight talker by any stretch of the imagination and maverick only in the eyes of the press.
More to come.
'The Cake is a Lie'
Portal is easily one of the most engaging games I've ever played. The voice that taunts you throughout the game is a riot and the boss at the end is great. And really, you can't beat this for game credits. (That's the voice that taunts you all game, btw, taunting you again even after you whooped it.)
I shall always miss my companion cube.
I shall always miss my companion cube.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Boo, Exxon
So Exxon feels like it shouldn't have to pay punitive damage for the spill in Alaska way-back when. Why shouldn't they? It's not like Alaska ran into them.
Punks.
Here is Roberts showing his hand. The lawyer's response is right on.
Punks.
Here is Roberts showing his hand. The lawyer's response is right on.
Obama Never Lost
With the exception of the superdelegates (which are starting to switch sides), Obama has never lost a primary voting day yet from the delegate count perspective. This was surprising. Check it out:
In other words, you take the superdelegates out of the equation (since they aren't elected), if you add up the delegate count totals from each day of voting Obama has come out ahead every day.
Nuts.
Each day delegates were won Obama first, followed by Clinton
1/3 (IA) 16 - 15
1/8 (NH) 9 - 9
1/15 (MI) 0 - 0
1/19 (NV) 13 - 12
1/26 (SC) 25 - 12
1/29 (FL) 0 - 0
2/5 (SuperTuesday) 842 - 828 (11 still to be decided)
2/9 (LA, NE, WA, VI) 105 - 56
2/10 (ME) 15 - 9
2/12 (DA, DC, MD, VA) 111 - 57.5 (6.5 to be decided)
2/19 (HI,WI) 56 - 38
In other words, you take the superdelegates out of the equation (since they aren't elected), if you add up the delegate count totals from each day of voting Obama has come out ahead every day.
Nuts.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Obama and the Grassroots
I talked yesterday about needing to get the heck away from the 50+1 strategy that has dominated politics over the past few decades, particularly since 2000 and the Rove-model. This model targets specific states and leaves others to rot, thereby screwing the local parties and hurting the party as a whole. Campaigns have traditionally been run from the top-down from within the establishment. HRC's is like that, for example. If you look at the endorsements in the states she gets most of the part machine (the governers, etc). The unfortunate bit about this is it really takes the power out of the little people and puts it in the hands of the power players. Those that 'know best', etc. The morons.
Enter Obama. The revolutionary thing about what he has been doing is that it has been TOTALLY grassroots built. He was a community activist long before a politication and has been a precient captaion. He knows what happens on the grass roots level and surrounded himself with people that know how to make it happen. And it shows. It is how he keeps closing a 20+ point cap between him and HRC over and over again. And it is how he is ahead in the polls in Texas and closing fast in Ohio.
This post has excerpts from volunteers involved in the ground game in Texas and how the Obama camp handles the situation. If this is indicative of his judgement regarding the people he surrounds himself with and his execution of goals, he will be a very compentent president.
Anyway, the big plus to all this that I kinda touched on yesterday is how it rebuilds the Democratic party in places where it has been decimated (namely heavy red states). I believe STRONGLY in the 50 state strategy where the party is competitive in all 50 states. Howard Dean started to implement this after 2004 and we reaped its benefits in 2006 by winning some seats that we wouldn't have otherwise because the party was competitive and able to leap on opportunities that prevented themselves through corruption, etc. With Obama pouring this money and talent into all 50 states and reinjuvinating the local parties he just strengthens the party as a whole across the country, regardless of who wins the presidency.
A choice quote to illustrate this:
And a quote that better illustrates the difference between the grass roots model Obama is using and the tradional model that HRC is using:
That is just awesome and a great sign for the future.
UPDATE: Here is a brief post about early voter turn on in Texas.
Nuts. Article talks a little more about the 50 state strategy long term briefly as well.
Enter Obama. The revolutionary thing about what he has been doing is that it has been TOTALLY grassroots built. He was a community activist long before a politication and has been a precient captaion. He knows what happens on the grass roots level and surrounded himself with people that know how to make it happen. And it shows. It is how he keeps closing a 20+ point cap between him and HRC over and over again. And it is how he is ahead in the polls in Texas and closing fast in Ohio.
This post has excerpts from volunteers involved in the ground game in Texas and how the Obama camp handles the situation. If this is indicative of his judgement regarding the people he surrounds himself with and his execution of goals, he will be a very compentent president.
Anyway, the big plus to all this that I kinda touched on yesterday is how it rebuilds the Democratic party in places where it has been decimated (namely heavy red states). I believe STRONGLY in the 50 state strategy where the party is competitive in all 50 states. Howard Dean started to implement this after 2004 and we reaped its benefits in 2006 by winning some seats that we wouldn't have otherwise because the party was competitive and able to leap on opportunities that prevented themselves through corruption, etc. With Obama pouring this money and talent into all 50 states and reinjuvinating the local parties he just strengthens the party as a whole across the country, regardless of who wins the presidency.
A choice quote to illustrate this:
The Obama campaign has singlehandedly done more to rebuild the Democratic Party of Texas in 2 weeks than the TDP [Texas Democractic Party] has been able to in probably 10 years.
And a quote that better illustrates the difference between the grass roots model Obama is using and the tradional model that HRC is using:
Obama's campaign shows the fruits of the very things kos and dkos in general has promoted. People powered politics, 21st century grassroots/netroots, internet fundraising, raising the level of involvement among the electorate, run a 50-state campaign.
Hillary's campaign represents the old way of running a political race. Lock up the establishment. Get endorsements, and do the usual GOTV operation, focus on the democratic strongholds, do traditional fundraisers with big spenders, etc.
That is just awesome and a great sign for the future.
UPDATE: Here is a brief post about early voter turn on in Texas.
In the top 15 counties with registered Democratic voters, there have been 419,904 early votes cast. Four years ago, the number was 72,688.
Nuts. Article talks a little more about the 50 state strategy long term briefly as well.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Why Obama Is Best Right Now
The choice for me between Obama and HRC was tough. I think HRC, on her own, would make a great president. She has a lot going for her. One thing she doesn't, though, are the idiots she surrounds herself with. That wasn't a good sign to me the way these people keep mishandling things and the message they are putting out. Some states don't matter because x,y and z? My ass they don't. That kind of talking hurts down ticket races and hurts our chances for picking up more seats in the senate and house. 50 state strategy is where it's at! That is what made the difference in 2006. Why would you abandon that kind of ground work now?
The last 8 years has been dominated by the 50+1 strategy on the right. That is to say, you don't need overwhelming majorities to claim a mandate...all you need is 50+1. It has been the polictics of division and leverage. 2004 was a great example of that with the constitutional ban against gay marriage lie to get the evangalicals out to the polls. I'm tired of that kind of polical calculation and from the way HRC campaign has been executed it is clear she is playing that same game. Enough.
Obama, on the other hand, really could lead to a mandate. He is playing working the 50 state strategy that Howard Dean setup when he took over the DNC in 2004. That does a couple of different things. 1) It helps down ticket races for house and senate because you energize the base in red states. 2) You get more people engaged and voting in the general which will help crush the other side and give the Dems the first over 50% popular win in decades.
He has the money. He is killing everyone in the money race. Both HRC and McCain are running into money problems and it isn't even the general yet. So Obama will be able to throw money around like no-bodies business and fight back against the smear machine during the general.
Believe it or not, he does have experience and a record to judge him on. Here are some resources: Project Vote Smart. Washington Post. And a very comprehensive review of his record here.
Sure he is an incredibale orator and draws HUGE crowds to the point of having to book sports arenas for appearances. He is helping to power the young vote like possibly never before (something like 80% plan to vote this year). I mean just the amount of people he brings out to the polls is insane. Every single primary has had record amounts of people voting. It isn't just him, of course, but I would argue he plays the majority of the role in it and he would be able to continue it into the general.
However, the biggest seller for me is that we finally have someone that is slapping down the stupid personal attacks from the right with the scorn they deserve. Instead of becoming all defensive he has been able to turn it around and make the attackers smell like the shit they are. This is a great post about exactly what I am talking about.
So I have more or less shifted my allegence to Obama. I would still vote for HRC in the general and get behind her if she pulls this out of her ass, but I think Obama would be a better choice overall at this point. Plus, he is KILLING McCain in general election polling while HRC and McCain are about even.
I'll post about McCain and why he isn't the straight-talking producer of change he claims to be later.
The last 8 years has been dominated by the 50+1 strategy on the right. That is to say, you don't need overwhelming majorities to claim a mandate...all you need is 50+1. It has been the polictics of division and leverage. 2004 was a great example of that with the constitutional ban against gay marriage lie to get the evangalicals out to the polls. I'm tired of that kind of polical calculation and from the way HRC campaign has been executed it is clear she is playing that same game. Enough.
Obama, on the other hand, really could lead to a mandate. He is playing working the 50 state strategy that Howard Dean setup when he took over the DNC in 2004. That does a couple of different things. 1) It helps down ticket races for house and senate because you energize the base in red states. 2) You get more people engaged and voting in the general which will help crush the other side and give the Dems the first over 50% popular win in decades.
He has the money. He is killing everyone in the money race. Both HRC and McCain are running into money problems and it isn't even the general yet. So Obama will be able to throw money around like no-bodies business and fight back against the smear machine during the general.
Believe it or not, he does have experience and a record to judge him on. Here are some resources: Project Vote Smart. Washington Post. And a very comprehensive review of his record here.
Sure he is an incredibale orator and draws HUGE crowds to the point of having to book sports arenas for appearances. He is helping to power the young vote like possibly never before (something like 80% plan to vote this year). I mean just the amount of people he brings out to the polls is insane. Every single primary has had record amounts of people voting. It isn't just him, of course, but I would argue he plays the majority of the role in it and he would be able to continue it into the general.
However, the biggest seller for me is that we finally have someone that is slapping down the stupid personal attacks from the right with the scorn they deserve. Instead of becoming all defensive he has been able to turn it around and make the attackers smell like the shit they are. This is a great post about exactly what I am talking about.
So I have more or less shifted my allegence to Obama. I would still vote for HRC in the general and get behind her if she pulls this out of her ass, but I think Obama would be a better choice overall at this point. Plus, he is KILLING McCain in general election polling while HRC and McCain are about even.
I'll post about McCain and why he isn't the straight-talking producer of change he claims to be later.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Pretty Much Sums it Up
So I came across this description as to why when you put people who don't believe in government in charge of government things go to shit. I think it pretty well sums it up:
If the Government is a car setting out to give every one a ride to work, then for 40 years the Republicans have been puncturing the tires, pouring sand in the gas tank, stealing the distributor cap, and, whenever they can get their hands on the wheel, driving it straight into the nearest ditch and then, pointing to the wreckage as the tow truck backs up to it, saying, See, this proves that people were meant to walk. And they do this so that they don't have to chip in on gas.
Monday, February 04, 2008
OVER RATED!!!
So before I tell you all why the Patriots piss me off so much, let me tell you a story. Ever since the talking heads started talking about uber the Patriots were and that they were the best team ever and Brady was God and could bring World Peace I've wanted to send one single text message to a friend. I thought I was going to be able to do it when the Colts first played them and were tearing them up, then the 2nd half happened. I thought I'd be able to do it when the crappy Ravens almost beat them, then that BS call in the in-zone at the end of the game gave it to the Patriots. I thought I'd be able to do it when the Chargers played them, then they fell apart. So it came down to the Uber Bowl, then with 4 minutes left the Giants decided to stop playing D and I thought I wouldn't be able to do it. But, as you all know, Eli drove them down and scored and the 'best team evah' lost. So I was finally able to send the text message I had been wanting to send all year. That text message was simply: OVER RATED!!!
It was promptly answered with a 'Fuck u'. ;)
Anyway, the Pats are a good team. Brady is a good QB. The thing that pisses me off the most though is the way the media pumps it up like Brady IS the reason they are so dominate. Bullshit. You give any good QB that offensive line and those receivers and they are going to tear up the opposition. The key is Belichick. After years coaching other teams he finally figured it out and knows how to just make it work. He game plans better than anyone in the league and he knows how to use his players to their greatest effect. The man should get a lot more credit for what he does and not this damn Brady lovefest.
Destiny my left nut.
It was promptly answered with a 'Fuck u'. ;)
Anyway, the Pats are a good team. Brady is a good QB. The thing that pisses me off the most though is the way the media pumps it up like Brady IS the reason they are so dominate. Bullshit. You give any good QB that offensive line and those receivers and they are going to tear up the opposition. The key is Belichick. After years coaching other teams he finally figured it out and knows how to just make it work. He game plans better than anyone in the league and he knows how to use his players to their greatest effect. The man should get a lot more credit for what he does and not this damn Brady lovefest.
Destiny my left nut.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Maria Shriver endorses Obama. Take that, you Republican shill. I bet the house is warm and fuzy between Arnold and her now. Whose the girly man now, punk?
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Obama Closing
Check out how fast Obama has been closing on HRC in this chart. It is pretty remarkable.
The more I look and listen then more I think Obama is the best choice for the country. I think he'll set the right tone world-wide and within the country. Too my surprise I've read and heard some pretty die-hard republicans say they will vote for Obama over McCain and I think that is a pretty good sign. With Edwards out I think Obama will attact more of his peeps than Hillary and with the Kennedy blessing he should start making in-roads on the Hispanic vote as well.
From a policy perspective I think they are both pretty similiar. I still think HRC would be a great president too but I think Obama will have a easier time getting things done overall. I really hope he can pull it off on Tuesday, it'll be a landslide in the general if he can.
I also think the last debate between the two of them was fantastic in how civil it was. I, for one, think civility is over-rated but it was nice to see them really focus on the issues and differences between Dems and Repubs instead of beating each other over the head. It would AWESOME if you have whomever looses the primary be the VP for the eventually winner. You get Bubba back in the WH either way that way.
Finally, the money Obama is pulling in is just nuts. $32 million in Jan is more than McCain brought in the ENTIRE year of 2007. Plus, he really motivates people. Look at the voter turn outs in the states for all of the primaries so far...in most states it is almost double what was in the past. That's a FANTASTIC thing.
Very interesting and cool primary.
The more I look and listen then more I think Obama is the best choice for the country. I think he'll set the right tone world-wide and within the country. Too my surprise I've read and heard some pretty die-hard republicans say they will vote for Obama over McCain and I think that is a pretty good sign. With Edwards out I think Obama will attact more of his peeps than Hillary and with the Kennedy blessing he should start making in-roads on the Hispanic vote as well.
From a policy perspective I think they are both pretty similiar. I still think HRC would be a great president too but I think Obama will have a easier time getting things done overall. I really hope he can pull it off on Tuesday, it'll be a landslide in the general if he can.
I also think the last debate between the two of them was fantastic in how civil it was. I, for one, think civility is over-rated but it was nice to see them really focus on the issues and differences between Dems and Repubs instead of beating each other over the head. It would AWESOME if you have whomever looses the primary be the VP for the eventually winner. You get Bubba back in the WH either way that way.
Finally, the money Obama is pulling in is just nuts. $32 million in Jan is more than McCain brought in the ENTIRE year of 2007. Plus, he really motivates people. Look at the voter turn outs in the states for all of the primaries so far...in most states it is almost double what was in the past. That's a FANTASTIC thing.
Very interesting and cool primary.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
GMail and Spam
Has anyone else seen a big up-tick in spam they receive in their gmail account? What's the dealio?
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Yellow Journalism
Am I the only person that sees parallels in yellow journalism and today's cable and, to a lesser degree, news print media? The lead up to the Iraq war and the Spanish-American War is particularly interesting.
Abu Ghraib and the Stanford Prison Experiment
Don't even ask how I came open the Stanford Prison Experiment but I found it extremely interesting, particularly in the light of the abuses at Abu Ghraib a few years ago.
In a nutshell, this guy at Stanford took a bunch of students and stuck them in a basement to replicate a jail. Half played prisoners and the other half guards. The experiment was to run for two weeks. It was shut down after six days because the guards became too sadistic and the prisoners really started to suffer a lot of emotional damage. Six days. That's fricken nuts. Read the Results section to see some of the craizness.
So this is what I take away from that experiment and the Abu Ghraib ordeal. In normal prisons you have a pretty exhaustive training and screening process to weed out the 'bad apples'. I assume prisons are also regularly supervised from outside sources to prevent abuses, etc. As a result, while abuses probably still happen, they are as systemic or widespread as the Abu Ghraib and the Standford ones become.
These kids playing guards weren't throughouly screened nor trained so it makes sense to me that you end up with more people that have sadistic tendencies than you would in professional prisons. I think a similiar thing happened in Abu Ghraib and who knows where else where you have soldiers put into a position they weren't screened or training for enough and you end up with more people with sadistic tendencies in those positions of power. As a result, you end up with the abuses that came to light. I think the Stanford experiment supports this pretty well.
Anyway, just thought it was pretty interesting.
In a nutshell, this guy at Stanford took a bunch of students and stuck them in a basement to replicate a jail. Half played prisoners and the other half guards. The experiment was to run for two weeks. It was shut down after six days because the guards became too sadistic and the prisoners really started to suffer a lot of emotional damage. Six days. That's fricken nuts. Read the Results section to see some of the craizness.
So this is what I take away from that experiment and the Abu Ghraib ordeal. In normal prisons you have a pretty exhaustive training and screening process to weed out the 'bad apples'. I assume prisons are also regularly supervised from outside sources to prevent abuses, etc. As a result, while abuses probably still happen, they are as systemic or widespread as the Abu Ghraib and the Standford ones become.
These kids playing guards weren't throughouly screened nor trained so it makes sense to me that you end up with more people that have sadistic tendencies than you would in professional prisons. I think a similiar thing happened in Abu Ghraib and who knows where else where you have soldiers put into a position they weren't screened or training for enough and you end up with more people with sadistic tendencies in those positions of power. As a result, you end up with the abuses that came to light. I think the Stanford experiment supports this pretty well.
Anyway, just thought it was pretty interesting.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Country Today vs. Jan 20th 2001
The chart in this article puts a really nice perspective on where the country was when Bush came into office and where it is now a year from when he leaves (give or take a few days).
Depressing.
Depressing.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Fasting
So I'm toying with the idea of trying an extended fast sometime in the next couple of months. Has anyone ever done this? I don't mean a 12 or 24 hour fast but more along the 7-day deal or something like that. I've been reading A LOT about that stuff recently and the more I read the more it seems like a healthy thing to do once or twice a year to clear our the system and give it a chance to repair a bunch of damage that occurs during modern living.
The thing is, unless you grow your own stuff you are going to be taking in a lot of garbage with what you eat. That stuff builds up and causes all sorts of weirdness to happen. So I want to give a fast a try and see what happens.
From what I can gather, day 2 and 3 are REALLY bad. After about 24 hours your body stops the digestion process and starts processing fat and such from your reserves. The toxins that you take in are mostly stored in the fat so your bloodstream just gets flooded with this crap. Additionally once the digestion process stops your body can start looking for dead or damaged cells and start to fix them. Between these two actions your can have 10x the toxicity in your blood than you normally have. This leads to, apparently, a REALLY BAD TIME for a couple of days while your body gets rid of all this crap that has been building up. The more toxic you are, the worse it is. Apparently it can be similar to a really bad hang over, vomit included. All kinds of weird crap comes out of your body in all kinds of weird ways. Sounds positively delightful.
However, once you get past that 2 day hellish period things start to look up and start to cycle between these really intense highs and these more mild lows as your body switches between detox and healing cycles. By the time you get to the end of the fast (if you do it for 7 days in a water fast) your body has more or less cleansed itself off the majority of toxins and your digestive track has regenerated itself. Several other systems reset and, apparently, you feel fricken awesome for quite some time. Then if you fast once a week for 24 hours or so and/or do a 7-day water fast twice a year you can maintain a more healthy system and those two days won't be as hellish.
So, wtf, right? I just feel like I am full of garbage in my system. I've been eating super healthy the past two weeks and have noticed a marked difference in my energy and mood. I just keep coming back to thinking if just eating a lot of fruit and nuts and cutting out the majority of processed foods can make that much of a difference, what would really cleaning my system out and resetting do? Everything I read about it and people I talk do that have done an extended fast all tell me that it really makes a difference.
There are two different types of fasts. A water fast, which is just absolutely brutal but is the shorter 7-10 day one. And a juice fast which is much longer but a lot more gentle. My current plan is to make an appointment with my doctor next week to talk to him about it. I am leaning to the 30 day juice fast but I'd like to see if he would be willing to monitor me to make sure the toxicity doesn't get to such a level that I my body can't deal with it. I'm also not sure how to deal with my medication in a fast. So I figure with his guidance I can give this a shot sometime in February or March and see what happens. If (when) I do it I will be updating my blog with my experience as it goes (I hope) with the good, the bad and the ugly.
Thoughts?
The thing is, unless you grow your own stuff you are going to be taking in a lot of garbage with what you eat. That stuff builds up and causes all sorts of weirdness to happen. So I want to give a fast a try and see what happens.
From what I can gather, day 2 and 3 are REALLY bad. After about 24 hours your body stops the digestion process and starts processing fat and such from your reserves. The toxins that you take in are mostly stored in the fat so your bloodstream just gets flooded with this crap. Additionally once the digestion process stops your body can start looking for dead or damaged cells and start to fix them. Between these two actions your can have 10x the toxicity in your blood than you normally have. This leads to, apparently, a REALLY BAD TIME for a couple of days while your body gets rid of all this crap that has been building up. The more toxic you are, the worse it is. Apparently it can be similar to a really bad hang over, vomit included. All kinds of weird crap comes out of your body in all kinds of weird ways. Sounds positively delightful.
However, once you get past that 2 day hellish period things start to look up and start to cycle between these really intense highs and these more mild lows as your body switches between detox and healing cycles. By the time you get to the end of the fast (if you do it for 7 days in a water fast) your body has more or less cleansed itself off the majority of toxins and your digestive track has regenerated itself. Several other systems reset and, apparently, you feel fricken awesome for quite some time. Then if you fast once a week for 24 hours or so and/or do a 7-day water fast twice a year you can maintain a more healthy system and those two days won't be as hellish.
So, wtf, right? I just feel like I am full of garbage in my system. I've been eating super healthy the past two weeks and have noticed a marked difference in my energy and mood. I just keep coming back to thinking if just eating a lot of fruit and nuts and cutting out the majority of processed foods can make that much of a difference, what would really cleaning my system out and resetting do? Everything I read about it and people I talk do that have done an extended fast all tell me that it really makes a difference.
There are two different types of fasts. A water fast, which is just absolutely brutal but is the shorter 7-10 day one. And a juice fast which is much longer but a lot more gentle. My current plan is to make an appointment with my doctor next week to talk to him about it. I am leaning to the 30 day juice fast but I'd like to see if he would be willing to monitor me to make sure the toxicity doesn't get to such a level that I my body can't deal with it. I'm also not sure how to deal with my medication in a fast. So I figure with his guidance I can give this a shot sometime in February or March and see what happens. If (when) I do it I will be updating my blog with my experience as it goes (I hope) with the good, the bad and the ugly.
Thoughts?
Flying
The last flight I was on was between the coasts several years ago. It was the first time I flew in five years or so and it went pretty smoothly. I remember being somewhat anxious and I couldn't sleep a damn on the red eye home, but other than that it wasn't bad.
I'm about to fly west again this afternoon and for some reason the anxiety is really building up this time. I'm writing this to try to rid myself of some of it because it helps to just talk it out sometimes, so bear with me.
I'm not sure what gets me anxious. I think, since I don't fly that often, it seems a very unnatural experience to me. There is definately a control issue involved. And it also triggers some of my anxiety about being stuck in a situation I can't move around freely in. I'm not sure that any particular fear of crashing or such really enters into it that much, surely a bit but it's not what really drives my anxiety. It has to be the 'moving freely' trigger more than anything else I think. That stinks, I thought I was more or less past that.
Oh well, now that I kinda pin pointed it I feel better. Yay!
I'm about to fly west again this afternoon and for some reason the anxiety is really building up this time. I'm writing this to try to rid myself of some of it because it helps to just talk it out sometimes, so bear with me.
I'm not sure what gets me anxious. I think, since I don't fly that often, it seems a very unnatural experience to me. There is definately a control issue involved. And it also triggers some of my anxiety about being stuck in a situation I can't move around freely in. I'm not sure that any particular fear of crashing or such really enters into it that much, surely a bit but it's not what really drives my anxiety. It has to be the 'moving freely' trigger more than anything else I think. That stinks, I thought I was more or less past that.
Oh well, now that I kinda pin pointed it I feel better. Yay!
Fate versus Destiny - My Take
Ok, so I've gotten a couple of comments on this. This is my take.
I believe fate and destiny, while related, are different. To me, fate is unnavoidable. If you believe in fate or that you are fated to do something, nothing you can do, no choice you make, will change that. It will happen. You are fated to it.
Destiny, on the other hand, is what you are meant to do and that there are paths you can follow that will take you to your destiny, but there is no promise that you will meet it. I think if you listen to yourself and are just aware you know if you are on the right path to whatever your destiny may be. I also believe that you know damn well when you aren't on the right path, even if you choose not to listen.
Now neither of these talk to how your fate or destiny is set and that is a different subject all together.
I don't believe in fate but I do believe in destiny. To me, fate, as I defined it above, is just the easy way to avoid responsibility for your decisions and actions.
I believe fate and destiny, while related, are different. To me, fate is unnavoidable. If you believe in fate or that you are fated to do something, nothing you can do, no choice you make, will change that. It will happen. You are fated to it.
Destiny, on the other hand, is what you are meant to do and that there are paths you can follow that will take you to your destiny, but there is no promise that you will meet it. I think if you listen to yourself and are just aware you know if you are on the right path to whatever your destiny may be. I also believe that you know damn well when you aren't on the right path, even if you choose not to listen.
Now neither of these talk to how your fate or destiny is set and that is a different subject all together.
I don't believe in fate but I do believe in destiny. To me, fate, as I defined it above, is just the easy way to avoid responsibility for your decisions and actions.
Lies!
A study was released today that reviewed the statements made in the run-up to the Iraq war that came up with 950+ direct, provable lies that led us to war. The report is an interesting read.
I'd like to say a bit about holding our elected representatives responsible. It is the nature of our government to make things difficult to prove wrongdoing sometimes. While I believe that some efforts can turn into witch hunts, this is not one of them. We are in this mess because of lies by public officials and they need to be held accountable for it in order to help stem this sort of thing happening on this scale again. That is why I believe studies like these and continuing investigations into pre-war rationale, intelligence, and other factors must continue and must end with people being held responsible, even if they are no longer in office at the time.
UPDATE: Check this fricken awesome tool out.
I'd like to say a bit about holding our elected representatives responsible. It is the nature of our government to make things difficult to prove wrongdoing sometimes. While I believe that some efforts can turn into witch hunts, this is not one of them. We are in this mess because of lies by public officials and they need to be held accountable for it in order to help stem this sort of thing happening on this scale again. That is why I believe studies like these and continuing investigations into pre-war rationale, intelligence, and other factors must continue and must end with people being held responsible, even if they are no longer in office at the time.
UPDATE: Check this fricken awesome tool out.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Fate versus Destiny - The Question
I've had this conversation with two different people over the last two days so I decided it was blogworthy. In this post I'll just ask the question to get input from everyone without poluting it with my beliefs. In a follow-up post in the next day or two I'll talk about what I believe.
The question: To you, is fate and destiny the same thing or different? If they are different, how are they different?
The question: To you, is fate and destiny the same thing or different? If they are different, how are they different?
A Religious Question
So I was in the shower where I do my best thinking this morning and religion popped into my mind. I don't recall the train of thought that led me there but I'm sure it was weird.
Anyway, I got to thinking about what the peeps that wrote the various cannon's believed before they believed in Christ? Particularly the old-testament peeps. What they heck were they into before Christianity came along? I know the answer if you buy into the 6000 year old earth thing but how do you square it if you don't buy into that?
I realize this may be totally naive so educate me?
Anyway, I got to thinking about what the peeps that wrote the various cannon's believed before they believed in Christ? Particularly the old-testament peeps. What they heck were they into before Christianity came along? I know the answer if you buy into the 6000 year old earth thing but how do you square it if you don't buy into that?
I realize this may be totally naive so educate me?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Links!
Some fun stuff, after the more serious stuff below:
An Auto-Commenter with such comments as 'all your a[i] are belong to us'
http://www.cenqua.com/commentator/
Hobbit House
http://www.simondale.net/house/index.htm
A Religous One
http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html
An Auto-Commenter with such comments as 'all your a[i] are belong to us'
http://www.cenqua.com/commentator/
Hobbit House
http://www.simondale.net/house/index.htm
A Religous One
http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html
Relationships and the Plan of Three
I am a serial monogamist. What that means is I meet someone, fall in love, think they are the one, really get into the relationship, start to have doubts, relationship goes to shit, takes forever to end, swear of women for a time then rinse and repeat. One of the problems with that is it really limits experience and confidence and forces me to settle instead of really shooting for the moon.
My therapist has a solution for serial monogamist..it is called The Plan Of Three! Here is how it works.
First, you define your type on three levels. And yes, everyone has a type. Each level is the perfect one, a perfect 10. The first level is physical and doesn't need an explanation. The second level is emotional and intellectually which also probably doesn't need an explanation. The third level is the tough one to put into words. Basically it whether or not the person feels like they are on the right path and far along that path they are that you are comfortable with. It doesn't mean they know what their 'destiny' is but more like if they feel like they are moving along in their life and if you are comfortable with whatever level that may be.
Second, you only date people that are 9's and 10's in all three levels. The idea is to NOT settle but to shoot for the moon. The ones that make you do a double-take are who you are shooting for. Don't settle is the mantra.
Third, it is non-sexual dating. You want to get to know these people on a friendship level with the intent of dating before you start banging pelvises. Kissing and that sorta thing is totally ok but you don't want to move into the type of intimacy that changes relationships until you are sure he/she fits 9/10 on all three levels.
Forth, you date multiple people and make sure everyone knows you are dating others, not necessarily who. The idea is date three people or so for a while until you really land on that one person.
Fifth, if you do decide to move into a more intimate relationship with someone, you break it off with everyone else. This part is key, for obvious reasons.
Ok, so what is the goal here? Why date three, etc? One thing to keep in mind is that this plan is totally not for everyone. It is mainly aimed at people (like me) with a somewhat limited dating experience, a lack of confidence in initiating relationships and a lack of perspective in what works for you and what doesn't on all three levels. For example, I can sit here and tell you, intellectually, what my type is. What I like physically, emotionally and whatever. However, I don't know for sure. How can I without something to really base it on? So by dating multiple people and, yes, comparing experiences I can really start to figure out what I really want. What the ideal is for me. And in doing so, if I really REALLY click with someone and I am totally open and honest with myself, then I make the next move and go exclusive with that person.
With me so far? That is the Plan of Three and it has worked for quite a few of my therapists clients'. Basically, as long as you are honest with it and really work it, it'll work. All of the things that make me uncomfortable about it hit on areas that I am not confident and tend to shy away from. So it makes sense to me.
Moving on. Shana and I decided to just be friends and she is dating someone we both know and they are quite taken with each other, so good for her! I am dating a wonderful woman named Melissa (Mel) and so far things have been going very well.
Good times.
My therapist has a solution for serial monogamist..it is called The Plan Of Three! Here is how it works.
First, you define your type on three levels. And yes, everyone has a type. Each level is the perfect one, a perfect 10. The first level is physical and doesn't need an explanation. The second level is emotional and intellectually which also probably doesn't need an explanation. The third level is the tough one to put into words. Basically it whether or not the person feels like they are on the right path and far along that path they are that you are comfortable with. It doesn't mean they know what their 'destiny' is but more like if they feel like they are moving along in their life and if you are comfortable with whatever level that may be.
Second, you only date people that are 9's and 10's in all three levels. The idea is to NOT settle but to shoot for the moon. The ones that make you do a double-take are who you are shooting for. Don't settle is the mantra.
Third, it is non-sexual dating. You want to get to know these people on a friendship level with the intent of dating before you start banging pelvises. Kissing and that sorta thing is totally ok but you don't want to move into the type of intimacy that changes relationships until you are sure he/she fits 9/10 on all three levels.
Forth, you date multiple people and make sure everyone knows you are dating others, not necessarily who. The idea is date three people or so for a while until you really land on that one person.
Fifth, if you do decide to move into a more intimate relationship with someone, you break it off with everyone else. This part is key, for obvious reasons.
Ok, so what is the goal here? Why date three, etc? One thing to keep in mind is that this plan is totally not for everyone. It is mainly aimed at people (like me) with a somewhat limited dating experience, a lack of confidence in initiating relationships and a lack of perspective in what works for you and what doesn't on all three levels. For example, I can sit here and tell you, intellectually, what my type is. What I like physically, emotionally and whatever. However, I don't know for sure. How can I without something to really base it on? So by dating multiple people and, yes, comparing experiences I can really start to figure out what I really want. What the ideal is for me. And in doing so, if I really REALLY click with someone and I am totally open and honest with myself, then I make the next move and go exclusive with that person.
With me so far? That is the Plan of Three and it has worked for quite a few of my therapists clients'. Basically, as long as you are honest with it and really work it, it'll work. All of the things that make me uncomfortable about it hit on areas that I am not confident and tend to shy away from. So it makes sense to me.
Moving on. Shana and I decided to just be friends and she is dating someone we both know and they are quite taken with each other, so good for her! I am dating a wonderful woman named Melissa (Mel) and so far things have been going very well.
Good times.
Quotes
I've been wanted to write a Quote post for a while with some quotes that mean something to me. I figure this will be a living post and I'll just add to it. Please comment and some of your favorites.
"Dreamers may leave, but they are here ever after." -- David Gilmore, "On An Island"
"Life is hard."
"Compared to what?"
--Voltaire
"The universe will unfold the way it is meant to." -- Lazy Boy
"Dreamers may leave, but they are here ever after." -- David Gilmore, "On An Island"
"Life is hard."
"Compared to what?"
--Voltaire
"The universe will unfold the way it is meant to." -- Lazy Boy
Songs That Move You
There are songs that mean something to me and songs that I just like to listen to...and then there are the songs that really move me. The ones that I refuse to listen to covers of or the radio versions because they always cut off the good part. These are the songs that bring back very vivid memories or give me goosebumps. The songs I close my eyes to listen to and just let them take me away.
I wanted to write a post about a few of these songs so I picked three. I'm going to list the song and then why it means something to me, why it moves me so. And away!
Comfortably Numb
Pink Floyd "The Wall"
In 1994 I went to see Pink Floyd play at RFK stadium in DC during there 'Division Bell' tour. It turned out to be their last tour, unfortunately. In any case, they put on this amazing show. It is absolutely astounding. They have this huge arch over the stage that is some 8 stories tall and suspended in the middle is this huge circular screen with lights around the outside of it that they project video onto. At the very back of the stadium they have a huge speaker setup and to the left and right halfway back as well so you end up with this huge stereo system. During some songs they swirl the music around the stadium from speaker to speaker that just makes the pot smokers minds explode.
Anyway, 'Comfortably Numb' is the last encore song they perform. I've always enjoyed the song, particularly the guitar solo at the end which, in my mind, is the best guitar solo ever. The lyrics have meant something to me at different points in my life and play a part in why I like the song so much, but mostly it is the Gilmore's guitar work.
So throughout the song they have these amazing light show that goes with it. During the part when they give Floyd a shot and he screams all these lights come on and kinda move from the top of the stadium to the bottom...very cool. Song continues and then we get to the solo at the end. Now on the radio they cut the solo off maybe 1/3 of the way through. Live it goes on and on in sonic bliss for quite a while. The thing that makes the solo so cool is the way it builds and how edgy it is...you can just feel the emotion from it. So Gilmore is up there playing his heart out and slowly this big circular screen starts to move! It starts to rotate so that the screen faces down toward the stage. This happens pretty slowly so you don't even notice it at first but eventually the screen is perpendicular to the stage right above Gilmore's head. At a key point in the solo all the lights in the stadium go out except for the ones around the circle...those lights come on and you end up with this amazing cone of light that just totally surrounds him. Man I get goosebumps just describing this.
While that screen was moving something was happening in the middle of the stadium that you don't notice. Out of the control station or whatever it is in the middle on the field this HUGE disco ball had been slowly rising out of the ground. There is a point in the solo where it has built to this crazy sorta wailing and it climaxes with some really high powerful stuff. At this moment a bunch of lights come on to the ball and the entire 50,000+ (or whatever) packed RFK stadium is full of swirling lights. It was absolutely amazing because everyone was so fixated on the stage that you didn't even see it coming. The solo goes into this kinda wavy back-and-forth thing and I'm like 'How the hell do you top this?' Well, you top it by slowly opening the disco ball up. It folds back on itself and has these crazy lights inside. The solo is going nuts, lights and lasers and crap are all over the place and people are literally jumping up-and-down. What a fucking amazing thing.
Every time I hear that song now and it gets to that solo I close my eyes and listen and just remember. It was a really comfortable night, perfect weather...couldn't hear a damn thing for a week afterwards.
It literally brings tears to my eyes.
99 Flavors
Chick Corea "Beneath the Mask"
This song is a Jazz Fusion song - purely instrumental. On my first trip to Europe I had a walkman and had a tape with this album on it. The trip involved a lot of riding on a bus through some amazing scenery. During these trips I would just listen to this album from start to finish over and over, never rewinding to repeat a song or anything. The '99 Flavors' song is relatively short but has a part that is almost spiritual. Every time I'd get to that part I would again close my eyes and just really let myself go in the music. That bit of music - actually the entire album - now brings back memories of the countryside we traveled through. In particular one bit of Austria near the Crow's Nest where Hitler hung out. It was a highway that was on the side of a mountain and you could look over the edge all the way to a lake with the most blue water I have ever seen.
On An Island
David Gilmore "On An Island"
Most songs I get into because of the music, not the lyrics. In this case, it is both. David Gilmore is the guitarist and lead singer for Pink Floyd and 'On An Island' is his third (and latest) solo album. I just recently found it in the fall and totally fell in love with this song. The music is beautiful but has this undercurrent of hardness to it that just fits perfectly. The chorus goes like this:
The song is about a time he spent with his wife on an island but it really hits home to me on a lot of different levels, particularly the chorus. There is also one line near the end that I love both because of it's lyrical beauty (to me) and because of what the music does to complement it. The line is:
Text really can't do the song justice because the lyrics and the music fit together so perfectly.
Anyway, those are probably my top three. What are yours?
I wanted to write a post about a few of these songs so I picked three. I'm going to list the song and then why it means something to me, why it moves me so. And away!
Comfortably Numb
Pink Floyd "The Wall"
In 1994 I went to see Pink Floyd play at RFK stadium in DC during there 'Division Bell' tour. It turned out to be their last tour, unfortunately. In any case, they put on this amazing show. It is absolutely astounding. They have this huge arch over the stage that is some 8 stories tall and suspended in the middle is this huge circular screen with lights around the outside of it that they project video onto. At the very back of the stadium they have a huge speaker setup and to the left and right halfway back as well so you end up with this huge stereo system. During some songs they swirl the music around the stadium from speaker to speaker that just makes the pot smokers minds explode.
Anyway, 'Comfortably Numb' is the last encore song they perform. I've always enjoyed the song, particularly the guitar solo at the end which, in my mind, is the best guitar solo ever. The lyrics have meant something to me at different points in my life and play a part in why I like the song so much, but mostly it is the Gilmore's guitar work.
So throughout the song they have these amazing light show that goes with it. During the part when they give Floyd a shot and he screams all these lights come on and kinda move from the top of the stadium to the bottom...very cool. Song continues and then we get to the solo at the end. Now on the radio they cut the solo off maybe 1/3 of the way through. Live it goes on and on in sonic bliss for quite a while. The thing that makes the solo so cool is the way it builds and how edgy it is...you can just feel the emotion from it. So Gilmore is up there playing his heart out and slowly this big circular screen starts to move! It starts to rotate so that the screen faces down toward the stage. This happens pretty slowly so you don't even notice it at first but eventually the screen is perpendicular to the stage right above Gilmore's head. At a key point in the solo all the lights in the stadium go out except for the ones around the circle...those lights come on and you end up with this amazing cone of light that just totally surrounds him. Man I get goosebumps just describing this.
While that screen was moving something was happening in the middle of the stadium that you don't notice. Out of the control station or whatever it is in the middle on the field this HUGE disco ball had been slowly rising out of the ground. There is a point in the solo where it has built to this crazy sorta wailing and it climaxes with some really high powerful stuff. At this moment a bunch of lights come on to the ball and the entire 50,000+ (or whatever) packed RFK stadium is full of swirling lights. It was absolutely amazing because everyone was so fixated on the stage that you didn't even see it coming. The solo goes into this kinda wavy back-and-forth thing and I'm like 'How the hell do you top this?' Well, you top it by slowly opening the disco ball up. It folds back on itself and has these crazy lights inside. The solo is going nuts, lights and lasers and crap are all over the place and people are literally jumping up-and-down. What a fucking amazing thing.
Every time I hear that song now and it gets to that solo I close my eyes and listen and just remember. It was a really comfortable night, perfect weather...couldn't hear a damn thing for a week afterwards.
It literally brings tears to my eyes.
99 Flavors
Chick Corea "Beneath the Mask"
This song is a Jazz Fusion song - purely instrumental. On my first trip to Europe I had a walkman and had a tape with this album on it. The trip involved a lot of riding on a bus through some amazing scenery. During these trips I would just listen to this album from start to finish over and over, never rewinding to repeat a song or anything. The '99 Flavors' song is relatively short but has a part that is almost spiritual. Every time I'd get to that part I would again close my eyes and just really let myself go in the music. That bit of music - actually the entire album - now brings back memories of the countryside we traveled through. In particular one bit of Austria near the Crow's Nest where Hitler hung out. It was a highway that was on the side of a mountain and you could look over the edge all the way to a lake with the most blue water I have ever seen.
On An Island
David Gilmore "On An Island"
Most songs I get into because of the music, not the lyrics. In this case, it is both. David Gilmore is the guitarist and lead singer for Pink Floyd and 'On An Island' is his third (and latest) solo album. I just recently found it in the fall and totally fell in love with this song. The music is beautiful but has this undercurrent of hardness to it that just fits perfectly. The chorus goes like this:
Let the night surround you,
Halfway to the stars.
Ebb and flow,
Let it go
Feel the warmth beside you.
The song is about a time he spent with his wife on an island but it really hits home to me on a lot of different levels, particularly the chorus. There is also one line near the end that I love both because of it's lyrical beauty (to me) and because of what the music does to complement it. The line is:
Dreamers may leave, but their here ever after.
Text really can't do the song justice because the lyrics and the music fit together so perfectly.
Anyway, those are probably my top three. What are yours?
Friday, January 11, 2008
Movies!
I decided to review a couple of movies for you all. These reviews will contain some things that could be considered spoliers. In order to protect anyone from being spoiled I will begin each paragraph with the name of the movie it reviews. If you don't want spoilage, don't read that paragraph. However, be warned that you will miss some witty and funny descriptions that will make you snort and, in the case of drinking a beverage, would make you snarf it. That would be unfortunate because I would like to be there to watch you snarf and then laugh at you and since I cannot you would be wasting a perfectly good snarf. Onward!
NATIONAL TREASURE 2.
Crap. Ok, not total crap, but not nearly as good as the first one. I just couldn't care less about Cage's character wanting to clear his families name. So your family shot Lincoln, who cares! It's not like you did it. Get a grip, man. And what was up with the bad guy suddenly turning good and redeeming himself? That was a little abrupt, after going out of your way to show how evil he was he flips on the turn of a dime? Blah. I will say the big ass table balancing act thingy was fun.
I AM LEGEND.
Think '28 Days Later' meets 'Cast Away' with a black Tom Hanks (think about it, both Will Smith and Tom Hanks come from similiar comedy backgrounds and then proved they are incrediably versitle actors). Well, 'Cast Away' if it happened in New York city and a bunch of crazies that used to be people were trying to eat you. Oh, and there seems to be one crazy that leads the show even though you spent part of the movie explaining how all social behavior has left them and then never quite explaining how that one guy was the ring leader. Smith's performance was amazing, however and the movie itself is actually very good and enjoyable.
RAMBO!
Come on, it's RAMBO! You can't go wrong! It comes out on Jan 25th and my ass is there for the opening. I've been waiting to see a Rambo in the theater and I can't wait for this. I have no idea who he is taking out all by his lonesome this time but I bet it'll be just as unbelievable as the rest. I hope they don't even bother with a plot this time. Just plop him down in some random jungle and have the blood bath start. That's the Rambo I like.
Yay Movies!
NATIONAL TREASURE 2.
Crap. Ok, not total crap, but not nearly as good as the first one. I just couldn't care less about Cage's character wanting to clear his families name. So your family shot Lincoln, who cares! It's not like you did it. Get a grip, man. And what was up with the bad guy suddenly turning good and redeeming himself? That was a little abrupt, after going out of your way to show how evil he was he flips on the turn of a dime? Blah. I will say the big ass table balancing act thingy was fun.
I AM LEGEND.
Think '28 Days Later' meets 'Cast Away' with a black Tom Hanks (think about it, both Will Smith and Tom Hanks come from similiar comedy backgrounds and then proved they are incrediably versitle actors). Well, 'Cast Away' if it happened in New York city and a bunch of crazies that used to be people were trying to eat you. Oh, and there seems to be one crazy that leads the show even though you spent part of the movie explaining how all social behavior has left them and then never quite explaining how that one guy was the ring leader. Smith's performance was amazing, however and the movie itself is actually very good and enjoyable.
RAMBO!
Come on, it's RAMBO! You can't go wrong! It comes out on Jan 25th and my ass is there for the opening. I've been waiting to see a Rambo in the theater and I can't wait for this. I have no idea who he is taking out all by his lonesome this time but I bet it'll be just as unbelievable as the rest. I hope they don't even bother with a plot this time. Just plop him down in some random jungle and have the blood bath start. That's the Rambo I like.
Yay Movies!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Innate Talent or Beginner's Luck
I was sitting on the shitter reading a book the other day and I thought occurred to me, although it is kinda hard to put into words. I shall try.
Have you ever been in a situation where you started something new, something that involved a skill set you have not used before, and you were just really good at it. More established people were impressed. Then, as time went on and you learned more about the rules and structures around whatever it is you were now doing, your 'innate ability' kinda waned and you became more average?
I'm probably not describing it really well or coming across as being a cocky bastard. Let me try a different tact. Have you ever come into something new knowing nothing about the way it is supposed to be done and performed surprisingly well? There, that sounds better. Happens all the time in sports. New QB comes in because the other one was injured and turns the game around. Then the next week he tanks and you find out why he was the backup in the first place.
What the hell is all that about? Is it some innate ability that was never tapped before or just beginner's luck? And what is beginner's luck?
I feel like it is more than that. I like to believe that because you don't know what you aren't supposed to be able to do, the pressure is off and you are free to just do. So a lot of the stress/anxiety/whatever is missing that occurs during later attempts.
Does this make sense to anyone else or was I pushing too hard on the shitter? ;)
Have you ever been in a situation where you started something new, something that involved a skill set you have not used before, and you were just really good at it. More established people were impressed. Then, as time went on and you learned more about the rules and structures around whatever it is you were now doing, your 'innate ability' kinda waned and you became more average?
I'm probably not describing it really well or coming across as being a cocky bastard. Let me try a different tact. Have you ever come into something new knowing nothing about the way it is supposed to be done and performed surprisingly well? There, that sounds better. Happens all the time in sports. New QB comes in because the other one was injured and turns the game around. Then the next week he tanks and you find out why he was the backup in the first place.
What the hell is all that about? Is it some innate ability that was never tapped before or just beginner's luck? And what is beginner's luck?
I feel like it is more than that. I like to believe that because you don't know what you aren't supposed to be able to do, the pressure is off and you are free to just do. So a lot of the stress/anxiety/whatever is missing that occurs during later attempts.
Does this make sense to anyone else or was I pushing too hard on the shitter? ;)
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