Friday, February 09, 2007

What a Mental Image!


Despite the vast differences in their ages, ethnicity, and religious upbringing, the sexual chemistry between Roberto and Heather was the most amazing he had ever experienced; and for the entirety of the Labor Day weekend they had sex like monkeys on espresso, not those monkeys in the zoo that fling their feces at you, but more like the monkeys in the wild that have those giant red butts, and access to an espresso machine.
---Dennis Barry, Dothan, AL


That is the winner of the Romance category of the 2006 Bulwer Lytton fiction awards. Good stuff if you are bored and need something to do.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Hurts so Good

On Sunday we made Jamican Jerk Chicken to eat for the Uberbowl. It's like a mad scientest experiement because it requires the use of Habanero's which, for me, requires the use of plastic gloves to handle. So I made the marinade and we poured it all over the chicken breasts. Turns out it is supposed to marinate for 6 hours which would have meant it wouldn't be ready until after 10 pm, so we decided to let it marinate over night and just have it Monday night whilst watching 24.

Monday night comes rolling around and we decide it is FAR too cold outside to attempt to fire up the grill. Enter the George Foremen grill. The chicken has marinated so long is has taken on the color of the marinade, namely a greenish tint. Mmmmm. We toss them on the grill and away they go.

Here is where it gets interesting. The marinade is so pungent and spicey that the steam coming off the grill is almost toxic. When any of us were within like five feet our nose would start running and we'd start sneezing. It was REALLY funny. This went on for about 20 minutes until the chicken was cooked. The entire time, while sneezing and blowing our noses, we were wondering why on earth we were going to try to eat this.

We made some rice to help cut the heat down and I had made two dipping sauces as well, one an Asian Peanut Sauce (actually left over from the Chicken Satays we made for the Uberbowl) and a creamy mustard sauce. The chicken was cut up into little pieces and mixed with the rice, add the sauce of your choice and away you go.

While, there was some serious heat to the meat. Not the same kind of heat you get at mexican restaurants because it didn't hurt your tongue like that heat does. And not like wasabi hot because it did the opposite of sinus clearing. It was a unique heat that is unique to the habanaro. It made you sweat, it clogged your sinuses, and the weirdest thing is that you could feel it the most back around where your tonsils are and radiating up towards your ears. Also in your chest. However, it was fricken GOOD. The pain said NO but your mouth sad MORE. Mmmm...so making that again.

It reminded me of a drink called Kiss of the Devil that I think I wrote about here before. It is a wine made out of habernaros instead of grapes. It looks like soapy water and when you drink it your thought process is "WTF is this shit! It hurts! Omg it hurts. Make it stop." because your entire face is on fire in a very unique way. Then, about 15 minutes later, as the feeling subsides and it starts to feel strangely good, you crave more.

Same deal with the Jerk Chicken last night, just not as potent and tasted better...since the Kiss of the Devil was pure sensation and no taste. Mmmmm.

Hungrey yet?

Friday, February 02, 2007

Molly Ivins

Just marking this for me mostly. Molly Ivins was an incredible columist who died a few days ago. This is a good tribute to what made her so unique. We need more like her out there.

Rest in peace.