After a lot of thinking on this I think my attitude toward dating is to just put my self in the position to meet new people and make friends. Then, if anything grows out of that friendship, I'll pursue it if it feels right. To me, that is letting a relationship grow naturally.
I had this conversation with a friend and she brought up some good points. Basically, she questioned just what 'naturally' means, and I quote:
And as for the happen naturally, there'd be a blog thought. What the hell is naturally? Somebody's got to make an effort somewhere, take a chance, etc.
The backstory of where this conversation came from isn't necessary right now, but it does bring up some interesting questions. It's not like there is a little paperclip in the corner saying 'Now kiss her, dipshit'. So there has to be an aspect of risk taking, even the act of just asking someone you have a budding friendship with if they want to go on a date is a risk. I mean, what if the other person hasn't thought anything about it? What if they then start to feel preassured or uncomfortable? What if all the door holding and nice comments start to be second guessed in the frame of 'this guy just wants to date me'? Risk, right? But without that risk, what? I like to believe that things will just happen but I keep out thinking myself trying to figure out what 'just happen' will look like.
So maybe those of you that have more dating experience (which is everyone) or you married people can chime in here. Did you start going out with someone with the understanding of a dating relationship from the begining or was it a friendship that developed into a dating relationship? If it was a friendship first, how did you know when to make the move to dating? What did that move look like? What kind of rejections did you have and how did you deal with them? Could make for some interesting stories if anyone wants to take a risk and post about it.