Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Shades of Friendship

Friendship is a fantastic thing. However, I think the word 'friendship' is used in too broad of a fashion. All friendships are not created equal and I think sometimes it is a disservice to refer to them all in the same way. Labels, I feel, tend to box you in to a certain form of behavior that isn't always applicable, at least not fully. It isn't that I think labels aren't useful. It is that I believe we are often in a rush to slap one on even though the reality of the situation doesn't fit the label. Then I think you can end up in a situation where instead of dealing the 'facts on the ground' you are too busy trying to make it fit the label.

So using friendship as an example. Since the rumor mill is churning like sharks to chum in the water, I'll just feed it a little more. I don't think you can have the same sort of friendship you had with someone you dated as you can with someone you never had a romantic interest in, regardless of how close you are. So are these people friends or something more than a friend? Maybe not more, but certainly different. What I find is that as soon as you apply the 'friend' label to such a relationship I end up spending more time trying to figure out how to be friends in a relationship that isn't the same as other friendships, instead of just experiencing the relationship for what it is. Why label it? Just enjoy it. Let the behavior and interaction between you define the relationship, not the label.

This really fits with my CFZ post below. What it really comes down to for me right now is a rejection of allowing myself to be boxed in by external factors. Labels are probably the main way that happens. To me it is silly to have to fight what a label means rather than just allowing a relationship - or whatever really - to go where it wants to go.

CFZ, biatches!

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