Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ryan's Personal Philosophy

Someone else coined the phrase. I dish out advice, whether it is good or not is up to debate I suppose. I guess it is part of my ever evolving personal philosophy that I like to spread around because it works for me. Your mileage may vary.

In any case, this is just stuff I picked up along the way or came to on my own that fits my experiences and helps me make sense of things. Or if not sense, at least accept and move on. I figured I'd share it. Someone called them Ryanisms once and I think I like that. I'm sure I missed some. Everything is subject to change, this is just what I believe right now.

1) Labels get in the way.
I think it is easy to get too tied up in trying to label situations or issues instead of focusing on understanding them and just accepting them. Who cares if you have low self-esteem or if it is self-doubt, understand that is who you are right now and then learn how to embrace it and adapt. Getting caught up in identifying the proper label may serve a purpose at first but it starts to become counter-productive. This is particularly true when trying to label relationships between people. That shit is just complicated.

2) Know where your shit ends and someone else's begins.
Everyone reacts to things differently for a variety of reasons. There are things that you are going to react to in a way that is out-of-proportion to the actual event because of past hurts and experiences you have had. As a result, conversations can get heated for reasons that aren't apparent. Knowing where your shit ends - for example, not taking responsibility for someone over-reacting - can make a huge difference.

3) How your internal dialog talks to you makes a big difference in self-esteem.
Self talk is hugely important to self-esteem. If you make a mistake and then berate yourself for it in your inner dialog - saying things like 'You idiot' or 'That was stupid' - all you are doing is beating yourself down. What is the point of doing that? It was a mistake, who cares. Give yourself a break. It is all about the positive thinking. Changing your perspective.

4) Everyone was a beginner at some point.
How many times have you walked into a situation, particularly a learning situation or where you were new to something, and felt totally out-of-place or like everyone was staring at you? Just remember, all of those people were beginners at some point too.

5) Let things happen when they are ready to happen.
I believe that things happen smoothly when they are ready to happen. Forcing events doesn't usually end well. For example, this post. I've had it rolling around in my head for sometime but it didn't feel right to post it until now. Gut feelings can hold wisdom.

6) Perception is everything OR You are your experiences.
This one can be discussed a lot but basically you are what you perceive. I'm not sure I can really explain this in a short paragraph, but I'll give it a shot. If two people experience the exact same event at the same time, what they take from it - their perception of it - is going to be different based on past experiences. Their interpretation of the event is filtered through who they are. Who they are is based on life experiences and genetics (which gets into nature vs nurture, let us table that for now). Anyway, I say all that to say this: your reality is an interpretation of what happens to you. This comes in in trying to understand politics and such and the art of managing perceptions.

Okey dokey, this is going a little long. I'm not sure I did a good job explaining some of this stuff so please, hit me with some questions or challenge me on some of this stuff. It helps me clarify my own thoughts.


Kirsten said...

Good stuff....I like them all! I love the last one especially. My sister and I will often will re-visit events in our childhood just to see who remembers what and how we each pereceived things different cause it's fun!

CMS said...

I am sorry but this is just the mood I am in. Forgive me:

1) Labels get in the way.
- Yes they do, but that is nothing that a pair of scissors can't handle. Remove the label and then tell people what you want them to think it is. Or buy Hanes.

2) Know where your shit ends and someone else's begins
- This is always good information. When at home, flush after a number 2. When at a public restroom, don't go where other's shit remains.

3) How your internal dialog talks to you makes a big difference in self-esteem.
- Reduce the number of minutes your inner person has and make sure that they speak your native tongue. It sucks when your inner voice is some unintelligible Indian fellow.

4) Everyone was a beginner at some point.
- Many terminally so.

5) Let things happen when they are ready to happen.
- Very important, especially in matters of evacuation/ defication. Forcing things can hurt.

6) Perception is everything OR You are your experiences.
- A great arguement AGAINST the "say no to drugs" movement.

I love that you put your thoughts in print. And I love the fact you've let me interpret them in this way :-)

Ryan said...

I feel like their should have been a rimshot at the end of that.

CMS said...

Ba-da-ch ;-)

Kat said...

Let things happen when they are ready to happen?
You could argue otherwise...that people would be sitting on their ASSES doing nothing if they followed this principle.
I am firm believer in going for your goals and forcing them to occur. Perhaps knowing when it's the right time to act. Perhaps knowing how to start a chain of events that will result in what you want, even if it's 10 years down the road.
Otherwise I shout to the top of my lungs: CARPE DIEM!!!

Ryan said...

I'm not saying you shouldn't go after your goals. Taking the initiative is very important. It is more than just that though. When you are ready for something you'll see the opportunity, then you just have to take it. To me it is like the opportunities become clear to me when I'm ready for them. Perhaps it is because my mind is thinking more in that direction then before, who knows.

Seize the day, live every day as it is your last, etc, etc absolutely. Bring it. :)