I have entered a period of uncertainty that I'm not really enjoying. In the past, I haven't minded living in the grey area, as long as I had some idea of a direction to go in. Now, I'm in this grey area with no real idea of which way to go. There are things I want to say and want to do but I hesitate and don't do it. False starts or no starts at all have tormented me all day today.
The past is coming back to haunt me in a way that it never has before. How do you argue with your own past? Is it always a predictor of the future? Can someone over come their past?
I hate this. I hate knowing how things could be but having no way to alter them from the way they are, even when I understand and respect why they are that way.
At the end of the day though, this'll all pass and come to a resolution in one way or another and ultimately I'll be better for it. It is just that right now, not having a direction or even knowing where I'm at, kinda sucks.
There, now I feel better. :)
UPDATE: Something just occured to me. I'm starting to embrace the situation and, as a result, am starting to become comfortable with it. This is good. I'll just keep moving along as I have been and let it go where it goes. Yay for direction.