I was at a part Friday night that, overall, was a goodtime. However, there was a period in the middle that wasn't so fun and a learned a couple of things about myself. Maybe not so much learned as clarified or even re-learned.
Anyway, I let someone else's drama affect me in a way I haven't in quite some time. As a result, the evil passive-aggressive twin came out for a time until I was able to regain some balance. I didn't like it and it still bothers me to the point where I felt I had to write about it at yet another get together so I can put it to rest.
The two things I learned were:
1) I don't like playing board games
2) No matter how much better I am staying balanced in myself and just going with what happens, sometimes I still let something in too close that knocks me off balance.
It's like aspects of my personality that were much more relavent in my past come back (the evil twin, as I call it) and then whatever the original thing that knocked me out of kilter gets magnified by my reaction to all of that old shit.
There is something else floating around in there I can't put my finger on...oh right. So I became all cynical, not the funny cynical but the asshole cynical, and I just tried to keep my mouth shut and not say anything because I knew it would be cutting and ugly. Eventually, someone pulled my into a more politcal conversation one-on-one and that more comfortable ground helped me center again so all was good.
I'd like to toss out an apology to anyone that was there that may have been offended. It was my own shit that I was mostly reacting to and you saw a side of me that doesn't show up too often.
Live and learn.