Where Has Ryan Been

So, other than that little Israel rant you may have noticed all I have really been posting later has been songs and such. I've been in a weird place the past couple of weeks, ever since the week of Christmas really. I've been working on this short-term contract that was due today almost non-stop. I haven't put this much time and energy into a work project in years, almost to the exclusion of everything else. This week I started to get close to a snapping point with all of the loose threads I let dangle in the wind.

When I was back in H-Town I had something of a hard time of it. Memories kept creeping in of good and bad times and they just kept dogging me. I fell back into old habits and dynamics while relating to my mom sometimes and the frustration and anger I used to feel would come rushing back. Other times I would fall into a funk thinking about times and people past. It was a roller coaster of emotions and memories. Now, it isn't like it was all bad. I enjoyed the time with my family and was able to spend time with old friends I haven't seen in a while. There was some strain sometimes even then, but it was ok. I guess you really can never go back. There is another one I didn't really understand until now.

With this project I found myself not knocking out my homework. Fantastic. So now I have a five page paper and a two page paper due by Sunday in which I have starter neither. On top of that, I kept forgetting to order my books for the class that starts on Monday. I finally was able to do it today and it cost me $75 to ship them so I receive them in time. $75! Fascists.

Get this, though. I cleaned my bathroom. I know, big deal, right? But it is! Scrubbing bubbles are amazing! It still has aways to go but good god can cleaning be theraputic. Why didn't someone tell me this before! I can have a lean house, beat CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome), and feel good all at once! Love it.

Introspection coming next.