Thursday, January 10, 2008

And Now, For Something Completely Different

I've been on a streak with the political and religious stuff so I figured I'd shift gears back to the third leg in my posting stool and talk about me again.

I think, as a human as most of us are, that we react to how other people react to us. No matter how much you may deny it, a certain part of your personality and self-worth is going to be defined in this way. The amount of that self-worth will vary greatly between person and during your lifetime.

For example, it wasn't too many years ago that I derived a great part of my self-worth from how I felt people related to me. And it was even less time ago that critisim of any sort really cut to the bone (like a matter of months on that one). That isn't to say that critisim still doesn't hurt or that if everyone suddenly turned their back on me I wouldn't be crushed, it just means that I have an easier time now taking it stride and not letting if affect my self-worth.

To put it another way, you can't control what a person says or does to you but you can control your reaction to it. If someone says something hurtful, whether purposely hateful or supposedly constructive, you can either internalize that and start doubting yourself and your motives...or you can really be in touch with who you are and let it slide off your back or take it for the constructive critisim that it is. I certainly picked the first option quite a bit in the past and still do from time to time, but I am falling on the second option more and more.

What are your experiences with this?


Bunny said...

I think all the criticisms and hurtful things said to me growing up have become things that the little voice in my head sometimes says to me. It's really, really hard to shake the translation of "you're not good enough" into "I'm not good enough."

Ryan said...

Thanks for sharing that!