"Never Drown"

"Never Drown" - Days of The New (only video I could find was of a dude playing a game with the song playing)

I am the dirt, the dust, the stain, the rust that's on your fingers
You're here to get inside the place
To hide the fear that lingers
If we never drown, we never know how well it tastes

So tell me how it tastes and I know just how well you drown
Keep in all the things that make you fall
Together we'll stand tall
In the end, the choice will face us all

Together we'll fall, so don't let go
We release the chains that cause you pain
That keeps your spirit locked down

If we never drown the walls we found
Would never be our lesson?
The end is near the demon's jaw
The lives we swallow

In the end the choice will face us all

Together we'll fall, so don't let go
Maybe it's the way...
But I'm not looking forward to running away

Adventures in Sailing! - Stupid Outboard

Well,

I took the boat out last Thursday. The weather was nice but there was no wind save for about 40 minutes. We decided to motor on over to Alexandria for lunch and to check out how they are setup when it isn't super crowded. After radioing the dock master for a slip (and waking him in the process) I brought the boat around and eased it into the slip nice and slow. At the last moment I kicked the engine in reverse to stop us. Reverse didn't happen. So we slowly bumped the dock. At the time I didn't realized reverse didn't work and had just thought I came in too fast since reverse on this engine has always been shit. It wasn't until we tried to leave that I realized reverse is toast.

Once again I pulled the engine and took it home. I set it up on the engine stand I made last time and started poking around. It was then that I noticed that a part called the propeller shaft housing was cracked all the way through. I removed the bolts and pulled the assembly out. The assembly is basically the entire gear case but instead of oil coming out it was water. That explained why there was a bunch of oil in the water!

Either water freezing cracked the housing (unlikely since I didn't see the oil until after reverse didn't work) or it was weakened and when I tossed it into reverse it cracked from the torque. Either way, bad deal.

I found this website call Just Answers that lets you ask a question to the experts and pay them for an answer. I asked what to look for and about the cracked housing question, plus that I noticed some play in the shaft itself. Long story short, it might be the housing. Hard to tell for sure but everything else looks just fine.

So now I have a problem. I can order a new part to replace the broken part pretty cheaply. However, I don't know for sure that it'll fix the problem AND one of the stupid bolts broke and I'm having a heck of time getting it out. The second option is taking it to a repair place. Problem there is I have to find one local and my experience with them is that they take FOREVER. The third option is to just buy a new lower unit all together. This is certainly more expensive but in the 6 weeks I've owned the boat that is where I've had the problems. That is also where I had all the issues in my power boat. Finally, I found a few people selling newer used engines that would just be about $400 more than the cost of the lower unit.

In any case, the boat is out-of-commission until I get the engine running again. Oh well. At least it'll give me time to finish the teak and cleaning.

Tea Bag the Dems!

I’m thinking someone should take a look at the Urban Dictionary before making a sign next time.

And actually, while I’m at it here is an oldie but goodie:

Average Income and Poverty

I babbled about this in the fall and asked people what they thought the average income was per person in conversation. What I found then, and I was surprised as well, is that we (our social/economic circles) tend to overestimate what the average or median income is in America. This was back during the campaign when Obamarama was talking about giving a tax cut to those families making under $250,000.

I tossed up some links as proof but I came across this recently and wanted to share it.

In a nutshell, the median HOUSEHOLD income in America in 2007 was $50,233. Now, I don't know about you but to me that is not a lot for a household. For a median individual I would think that would be ok but a fair amount of households are dual earners and for it to be that low? Wow.

Poverty level, as a point of comparison, breaks down for a "family of four in 2007 was $21,203; for a family of three, $16,530; for a family of two, $13,540; and for unrelated individuals, $10,590.".

I'll be interested to see what the median household income is in 2009.

Idiocracy

Well now, this is a scary thought.

Curious...

...about what you all think of this post.

What Keeps Ryan Up At Night - Chairs!

Ok, this came to be last night or the night before, don't recall which...but I was thinking: "Sci Fi has a lot of creatures that walk and talk like people but have weird parts, like tails." Right? That is true.

However, look at the chairs on these shows! How the hell does something with a tail sit in a chair! And what if you have three butt cheeks? Or no butt at all! It isn't going to be real comfortable. That is butt discrimination right there, people!

Sci Fi writers need to think of this stuff. If I was a lizard-person and I had a tail, you better believe I'd want to sit every once in a while!

And no, I wasn't smoking/drinking/injecting/etc anything. These are the things that come to me late at night.

And yes, I get blank looks a lot. I am ok with this.

Poetry!

Going through a bunch of mail I meant to read but forgot to, came across this.

I like.

How Many 'F's?

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...



How many F's do you count?

Smarts!

For class I had to find and take an intelligence test. I usually do the assignment and post before I read any of the discussion so I am not swayed but what other people say. As it turns out, I could have saved myself a lot of time if I had read what others did. I ended up taking a 109 question test that took me a solid two hours to do while it seemed like most others were taking the tiny tests.

In any case, after forking out the $7 for the details results I found it totally worth it. It broke the measurements down into several areas. The Logical, Verbal and Analogy areas are where I scored the highest. The Arithmetic and and Numerical sections are where I flopped. The biggest surprise was a section titled Puzzles. The description follows:

By taking clues and putting them in order, it is usually possible to deduce a plausible answer by understanding the relationships between the items and eliminating certain options. This skill is very handy for detectives, journalists and even office managers. This skill involves seeing the “big picture” but also understanding the details and how they fit together.

This is where I scored the highest by 15 points.

Maybe I should start reading mystery novels.

Oh, if you want to take the test here is the link.

Testy Test

Ignore me

Pompus Punks

More Krugmans please:


Not to rant too much, but this is why I can't watch cable news. The pompus attitude of these guys just amazes me. These chuckleheads have no idea what the hell they are talking about but they are trying to come across like they do. I love Krugman laughing at Scarborough, that was awesome. And for that dork to put himself up as a 'model fiscal conservative' and to say there was no grid lock in the 90's but it was just a separation of powers??? Jesus.

And Buchanan, BUCHANAN? How the hell is this guy still on TV?

Liberal media bias my ass.

Banks and Insolvency

I was reading some stuff online, avoiding my homework, and came across a post and some comments that really helped to explain to me what the big dealio going on right now is all about. I'll try to sum up my understanding and then throw the link to the article and point out some comments if you want to know more.

The short simple explanation is that banks lent money to people for some amount plus interest then turned around and borrowed money from other institutions for the same base plus a smaller amount and so on. In this way the banks were 'over-leveraged'.

From a commenter on the original post, an example of what leveraging looks like:

The scenario goes like this:

I lend you my last $100 in exchange for a $10 payment at the end of the year and an IOU.

Based on that IOU for $110 payable at the end of the year. To cover my expenses until you pay me back, I borrow another lender's last $90 promise to pay back $95 at the end of the year.

That lender then to cover their expenses, borrows $80 and promises to pay back $82 at the end of the year.

So, based on initial loan of $100, $287 is floating around. A ratio of 2.87 to 1

Now let's say you lose your job, declare bankruptcy and won't be able to repay. I've lost my expected $110. And because I can't repay, the guy I borrowed from lost his expected $95. And because he can't repay, the gal he borrowed from lost her expected $82.

There are estimates that that some banks were leveraged at a ratio of $30 (money they borrowed for every $1 dollar in assets (money they lent)

You can see how these numbers start to add up in a very big way very quickly. Remember, this is all on paper as well under something called 'mark to market'. I believe 'mark to market' means that a bank declares the worth of an asset based on what they believe the market will pay for it, not what will actually be paid.

An example:

So games are played with accounting rules about mark to market, so they can continue claiming the assets are worth more, like your neighbor who bought a house in 2006 for $800,000 which, through comps, is now worth $500,000. Said neighbor still telling self and others that the house is still worth $800,000.

This is all fine and dandy as long as those original loans can be paid back and the originator bank can pay back their loans and on down the leveraged chain. The problem starts when large amounts of loans start to default, then the banks can't pay back their lenders, etc and everything goes down the drain.

So did the mortgage crisis cause this? No, it just exposed it. It seems to me that the actual cause was the over-leveraged nature of the loans and the lack of regulation preventing real valuation of assets, rather than the 'mark to market' fantasy.

Now, here is the real scary part and where the insolvency comes in. For a long time people were calling this a liquidity problem, implying that money was locked up between banks and we just needed to inject more in to get it flowing again. That assumed that the bank assets were actually still in the positive. What is becoming apparent is that these banks are totally insolvent. In other words, if they had to actually sell their assets right now at what someone might actually pay for them, they would be in the red very quickly. So these banks don't want to sell because they would go out of business. Instead, they hold on to it and hope things will turn around and make their assets worth what they claim they are worth.

To put another way, if you were a bank and your mortgage were all your assets, what would you do if you owed more than you could sell your house for like 1 in 4 American's are right now (myself included)? You'd sit on it and hope that things turn around if you could, right? That is what I'm doing and by the looks of things, it going to be a much longer wait than I hoped. :(

The sooner these banks are forced to declare how much the assets are actually worth the sooner we can deal with the damage. Until that happens it is just going to be games with accounting rules and money thrown at a problem (liquidity) that doesn't actually exist.

Here is the article that I was referring to...the comments are very informative.

From a Concerned Colonial Citizen

For certain BSG fans...Enjoy.

Small Government!

Sign me up!

Adventures in Sailing!

The past week has had me on the boat quite a bit.  Three times I have attempted to actually sail, only two of which were successful.  Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon and evening on the boat, including a nice long nap to test it out.  It is actually more spacious in the bow than I thought, which is good.

Anyway, a little log (with some pictures!) of those three sailing attempts.

The first one represents the first day I put the engine on the boat.  This was Sunday, Feb 1st.  The weather was nice that day, if you recall and the winds were perfect (15 knots or so).  I was concerned about two things primarily regarding the engine: 1) whether it would start from being in storage all winter and 2) whether the gas was any good.  I’ll spare you the details of trying to find a new gas tank for the old engine and just say I added fuel to it.  Anyway, I put the engine on its mount (crushing my hand in the process, yay) and fired it up.  The thing started on the first pull.  That never happens for me as outboard engines all hate me.  I was quite pleased so I let the thing run while we rigged the boat for sailing.

We got the main sail on and the jib hanked and were ready to roll.  After discussing how we were going to pull out I kicked the engine into reverse and we started to pull out of the slip.  Now, it is important to understand how this slip is situated.  My boat is on the last slip with the shore about 40 feet behind it.  About 12 feet in front of the shore is a line that is there to keep you from stranding yourself.  That leaves about 28 feet or so to run a 25 foot boat up stream.  Normally this isn’t that big of a deal but I had two things working against me.  First, the wind was blowing along the broad side of the boat, so as soon as the lines were freed the boat started to slide towards the other boats.  And second, the damn engine cut out when we were halfway out of the slip.  Damn it.

So while Lisa vainly tried to push us away from the other boats I was getting the engine started again.  The thing was pretty hot, hotter than it should have been.  Apparently it had overheated.  Fantastic.  After a lot of manhandling and getting the engine started for brief moments we were able to maneuver the boat into someone else’s slip about four down from my own, downwind of course.  The prospect of trying to walk the boat back up the dock in the wind wasn’t very appealing.

I spent the next hour or so dicking around with the engine.  Now, as you all know, outboard engines are cooled by sucking in water from the bottom of the engine via a water pump, circulating it through the cylinder head, and then ‘peeing’ it out a little hole.  Typically you look to make sure the engine is peeing before you let it run.  This is something I always did on my speedboat but managed to not do on this one.  Well, it wasn’t peeing, thus something was preventing it from sucking up the water and cooling itself off.

With the cover off of the engine and using it very sparingly after it had cooled off we were able to get the boat back into the correct slip.  We raised the sails to check them out since I hadn’t actually looked at them yet, then struck them, bagged them, and cleaned up.  Lisa mentioned that we managed to do all the hard parts of sailing (setting and striking sails, leaving and returning to a mooring) but none of the fun stuff (actually sailing). 

I took the engine home to fix because I was sure I knew what the problem was.  You see, the same thing happened to my big ass 150 hp Merc that put my speedboat out of commission.  Namely, I started the thing out-of-the-water like a total moron.  The problem with that is in how the water pumps work.  They are nothing more than an impeller (a litte propeller enclosed in metal) that spin.  They aren’t the most robust pieces of equipment and they intend to shatter into a million little pieces when no water is coming through.  So when I started the thing without putting it in the water I blew up the impeller.  The engine didn’t get any water ergo it overheated.  Luckily, the little 1987 Nissan 8 hp is more like a lawnmower engine than the car engine my 150 was like and instead of totally melting and turning into a gigantic paper weight it just shut off.  Nothing melted or fused together. 

I brought it home and stuck it on a big piece of cardboard in my living room since I was too sore and tired to take it into the basement.  I performed surgery the next day after I found schematics online for the various parts of the engine.  The impeller had indeed grenaded so I ordered a new one, put the thing back together, rigged a test harness in the backyard, hooked up a hose and there she peed!  Just like a race horse. 

I’ll talk about the sailing this past weekend in a later post since this novel has gone on long enough.  Suffice to say, the engine worked most of the weekend although it did cut out at a less-than-ideal time on Saturday.

Anyway, pictures!

Crappy picture of the engine in pieces:

Crappy picture of the engine with its anti-cat cover on:

Really tiny picture (wtf?) of the engine on its testing harness behind the house hooked up and ready to go:

Engine peeing like a racehorse!

Sailing picture from Saturday:

Classical Conditioning

So we just covered classical and operant conditioning in my Psych class and I thought I’d leave you all with part of my paper on the classical-side.  Classical conditioning is the idea that you can condition someone to associate a stimulus with a behavior it isn’t naturally associated with.  For example, when your mouth waters because you smell a cake cooking.  Your mouth watering is because it was conditioned to after you associated eating the cake with the smell.

Operant conditioning is the action/consequence way of learning.

Anyway, the paper babbles about unconditioned and conditioned stimulus and responses, etc but its the content that I thought you’d all be interested in.  It certainly isn’t my best written paper.  I think I talked about it long ago in my blog but this puts it pretty succulently.

Needless to say, this was the thing that got me into therapy in the late 90’s and I have since more or less gotten over it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

When I was a child I used to be taken to an eye doctor by my mom in a city about 30 miles away from where I grew up. During this trip we would always pass a rest stop on the highway. Anxiety from not being able to get out of going to the doctor – from being out of my control – would be very intense for me on the trip. When I would get anxious I would need to use the bathroom; the origin of which is beyond this example. Usually we were running late and would not have time to stop at the rest stop on the way. I would put my head down and try to pretend the rest stop was not there because I had no control over whether we stopped or not. What happened as this situation repeated itself was that I began to associate being trapped or not in control with the need to go to the bathroom. Eventually, I associated being trapped or not in control (the conditioned stimulus) with having to go to the bathroom (the conditioned response).

This response faded over time (extinction) once I stopped having to go to the eye doctor and was able to leave a particular situation when I wanted to. Years later I went to New York City for New Year's and was put into a situation that induced spontaneous recovery of the associated behavior. I arrived with my friends four hours early and were confined to an area that I could not leave until after New Year's had come and gone. Once I realized I was basically trapped for four hours or so the need to go to the bathroom became overwhelming which in turn led to anxiety bordering on a panic attack.

Similar events in my life have played out on this association that are an example of generalization. For example, at the height of this problem I was unable to be in any situation that would prevent me from having total control. Lines at the grocery store, roller coasters, being the passenger in someone's car would all cause an intense need to use the bathroom.

Being stuck in traffic is an example of discrimination. If I was the one driving I didn't have any problems. If I was in the passenger seat and we hit traffic the association would be very powerful.

Two Graphs

In case you weren’t worried enough about the unemployment numbers, I present two graphs.

The first, the recession historically since 1948 compared to other recessions:

The second, the same graph but as whole numbers of jobs, not a relative percentage:

Either way you slice it, yikes.

Anyone Want To Go Sailing?

With help, on Thursday Jan 29th I was able to officially purchase the 1983 Catalina 25 I mentioned in a previous post.  I spent most of the day on it Sunday before the Uber Bowl and let me tell you, I am very sore.  But it was awesome.  Like the water rat says in ‘The Wind in the Willows’: “There is nothing- absolutely nothing- half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.”

The boat was used mostly for racing and as such the the rigging is in great shape.  It came with a 2004 main sail, the original Jib, and a 150 and 170 genoas, both purchased recently.  Also conveyed with the slip paid through March and some electronics.  Plus a bunch of crap I have no idea what its for yet. 

The little 8 hp outboard already overheated so now I have a project.  I need to take the water pump apart and see in the impeller is toast.  I’m thinking it is.  Same thing that happened to my 150 Mercury on my speed boat, damn it all.  At least the engine didn’t melt.  And let me tell you, the adventure yesterday was nuts.  Trying to get the thing of the slip and the engine kept crapping out, wind blowing us into not good areas…good times.  Turns out, we did all the hard parts of sailing with none of the fun parts yesterday.  Docked/undocked, raised and struck the sails, etc but no actual sailing.

Anyway, some pictures:

It looks like a day sail would be comfortable for up to 6 peeps or so.  One or possibly two nights would be cool for 4, particularly if we docked in a slip somewhere.  Anything longer than that and people are going to have to get along well, but I fully plan on doing it.

I have a huge project list for it.  But there are several things I expect to do over the next couple of months that won’t be too costly to get the interior into shape for cruising.  Not much needs to be done on the rigging.  The exterior needs some cleaning as well.

Good times!

Pictures!

I’m procrastinating on a paper that was due yesterday so here are some pictures.

People streaming in to the Obamarama concert on Jan 18th:

My view:

Crowd behind us…went quite a ways past the monument:

Crowd to the right:

The sardine can we were in after the show:

Good show.  Crazy crowd.  Lots of fun.

Next!  My cat sleeping on me.  This is pretty typical:

Here is a fire at a friend’s house from a couple of weeks ago:

Some artwork at Clyde’s Bon Voyage party:

A Star Destroyer made out of Legos at Fabbioli’s:

A sneak peek:

An finally, see!

Sleep!

Here is an interesting article on sleep. Some neat stuff in there and some ideas for how to get better sleep.

And then there is this sleep test. I was a 'rocketing rabbit' when I took it.

The discussion topic this week in my Pysch course is on sleep. Since I don't have any sort of set schedule I've been messing around with it to see what works for me. What I found that works best, as immpractical as it would be for most people, is to just sleep when I'm tired and wake up when I wake up. This has me taking naps in the middle of the day and going to sleep late. Lately I've been hitting the hay around 3ish and getting up about 10ish with a nap in the evening. I find I am more energized and happier this way.

What works for you?

Interesting

This is an interesting personality test. The first three questions are the important one, the 4th one is blah.

How did it work for you?

Not Something You See Everyday

Ha Ha

Just heard a stand-up comic say this, thought it was funny:

Saying "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." That's like saying "People don't take pictures, pictures take pictures or Toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast."

Ha ha.

The Administration

This is a good, relatively short, pictorial of the people that make up the Obama Administration. Check it out if you want to see who will be calling the shots. I think his chief counsel looks like Doctor Who, the one everyone liked from the old series.

Cruise Log - Monday 10/6/08

Awoke at 7:50 am. Long way to go today. The septic tank is full. Need to find a pump out and diesel fuel.

Took two hours to find pump out and diesel. Marina was mislabeled on map. Ran aground briefly. Pump out was done by attendent. Turned out to have only needed 12 1/2 gallons of fuel.

Sailed for a couple of hours averaging about 7 kts. Had to turn on engine because of winds out of north preventing us from making good time north. Only 4 hours left and 30ish nm to go.

Arrived two hours late. Late fee will be assessed. Oh well, it was worth it.

Under Power: 6 hours
Sailed: 2 hours

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

There ends the log. The speed readings were affect by current so our actual speed was probably 2 knots or so less than it read. The entire trip was fantastic. Can't wait to go again.

Oh, just saw that Mere had written down what we had to eat on most days. So here you go, how we ate like kings and queens thanks to Mere:

Tuesday: Cheese and Salami
tilapia cocunut red curry w/ guchien

Wednesday: egg, bacon toast
scallops with cider butter sage sauce, pasta, zuchini, almonds
pesto feta tomato pita pizza

Thursday: granola with blueberries, avacado toast
sandwiches with avacado sprouts
ashore: crab cakes

Saturday: eggs and hotdogs, avacado toast
steak, rosemary potatoes, corn (trailmix and grapes)
ratatouille, baked garlic

Sunday: eggs and salami, avacado taost, ratatouille
mac and cheese with tuna (stawberries and cheese)
muchjadasiah

Monday: No one remembers

Future ideas: jumbalya, red beans and rice, fettucini and olives, chillie, stew, beef and rice with pine nuts, brocolli marinara, pesto salad, stir fry

Ok, I butchered some of the words. Oy.

Cruise Log - Sunday 10/5/08

Left much later than planned. Worried we won't make the island today. Almost hit another sailboat. Too busy playing with chat plotter. Other dude didn't see us until we were on him because we were hidden by his mainsail. He blasted the alert signal and we were able to turn just in time. 'Pleasantries' were exchanged and we continued on our way.

Made it to the party island after motoring for 7 hours and traveling some 40 nm. The island itself has a beach but a chain surrounds the entire island. It reminded me of LOST. Some good pics were taken.

Early start tomorrow. Worried about gas level since gauge is either broken or very optimistic.

Stayed up late listening to Chick Corea jass and reading tarot cards. Maybe there is something to this.

Under Power: 7 hours
Sailed: 0 hours :(

Cruise Log - Saturday 10/4/08

Went to bed late, woke up early with a bit of a hangover. Heading to Oxford today.

Sailed maybe an hour before having to strike sails and motor. Attempted to sail one more time just outside of Choptank Bay, no good. Motored into Oxford.

Got over fear of VHF radio and contacted Mears Yacht Haven for a transient slip. Going in bow first was pretty easy. Decided to come out and back in. Boat does not turn quickly in revers because of 3-fin feather prop. Managed to get us in w/o major incident.

Had dinner with Dad and Kim. Very yummy. Showed Dad the rigging and stuff. He nodded alot and was a good sport.

Sat up and drank a bit after they left and then hit the hay.

Under Power: 4.5 hours
Sailed: 2 hours

Cruise Log - Friday 10/3/06

Sun woke me up. Hung the hammock. Cleaned up 2nd anchor and dingy stuff. Ready to get underway for Harbor Point marina and a hot shower. Feel a cold coming on.

Biked into town from Solomon Yacthmans Marina where we rented a slip for the night. Hit Solomons Island Winery and then Food Lion for some additional supplies. Heading into town on foot for crabs and entertainment shortly.

Crabs were awesome. Mere had a crappy $75 psychic reading while C and I tossed rocks at a manhole cover. Went back to boat to put on warm clothed and then head to Solomons Pier.

Had too much to drink. Mudslides. Cold riding home. Feeling crappy. Great conversation with C though. Now I need to rough this out.

Brief rest on hammock fixed the sickness. Good wine. Good conversation. Feel good.

Cruise Log - Thursday 10/2/08

Rough water. Made 9.4 kts. Reefed main & genoa. Would have liked a 2nd reef. Strong weather helm.

Suffered from seasickness after staring at lap too long. M too. C took over after awhile and let me sleep until the Patatuxent River was in sight. Tried to beat around point but ran out of day light.

Couldn't find open transient slip before nightfell in Solomons. Anchored near marina. Goose came steaming over and hung out near us.

Dingy into tow. No motor, only oars. Couldn't find dingy ramp. Lots of laughing. Felt like Navy Seals on a covert mission. Ate crabs cakes at the 'Captains Table'. Watched debate.

Under Power: 1 hour
Sailed: 7 hours

Cruise Log - Wednesday 10/1/08

Wind picked up from 2 knots to gusting over 20. Had to turn into wind because of serious keeling. Weather helm prevented us from coming back on course. Reefed main, no good. Struck Genoa. No good. Dropped main and let out 1/3 genoa. Able to make headway. Winds died down to 10 - 15 kts about one hour later. Let out entire genoa for three hours. Under bridge. Raised all sais and shook out reef 1 hour later. Made it to cove for the night just before total darkness.

Expect small craft warning at 10 pm to tomorrow afternoon. 15+ kts sustained and gusts to 25 kts.

Felt sick all day from acid in tomato juice. Slept big chunks away. C & M did great. No seasickness.

Rigged a way to keep dingy on back of boat instead of towing.

No wind until 1:30 or so.

Under Power: 3 hours
Sailing: 5 hours

Cruise Log - Tuesday 09/30/08

I'm going to post the log I kept during the week long cruise I did a few months ago. This is the first day and is veribatim what I wrote.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Discovered table that makes a 2nd large berth doesn't lower. Slept on couch.

Dingy' are loud when under sail and being towed.

Motored most of the day. Storm front came through around 7 pm. Stopped engine and waited for wind around 4 pm. Started sailing at 5 or so. Sailed into cove and anchored around 6:30 pm. Ate dinner outside. Big storm with lightning lasted until after midnight.

Under Power: 3 hours
Sailed: 1.5 hours

Possible Boat Slipping Away

Stupid economy.

This guy is selling a 1983 Catalina 25 for about $6000. I went to look at it on Saturday down at the Washington Sailing Marina. The slip, in which there is a wait list for over a year, conveys with the boat. The boat itself was used once or twice weekly for racing and is pretty good shape for being as old as it is. The rigging is in great condition, the inside needs a bit of work but not much and it could be cruising.

In the grand scheme of things $6000 is not a lot of money but heck if I can shake the money tree hard enough to get it. I've applied at quite a few lenders and I'm getting denied mainly because of the age of the boat and the requested amount is too low. Too low! What is up with that?

So I tried for a personal loan. Well, this is where being self-employed kicks me in the ass because they want your life history before they will even maybe possibly consider you, and even then the hurdle to jump is set so high right now you need almost perfect credit to jump it.

Actually, as much as it pains me to say it, it might not be a bad thing to miss this opportunity. I certainly have my hands full with school and contracting, and there is always charting.

Does that rational sound as hollow to you as it does to me? ;)

Battlestar Galactica - Grumpy Ex-Star

I came across this written by Dirk Benedict, the original Starbuck. It is on a blog called 'Big Hollywood' which is an attempt to fight back against big bad liberal Hollywood. Its full of silly but fun.

My favorite part:

There was a time, I know I was there, when men were men, women were women and sometimes a cigar was just a good smoke. But 40 years of feminism have taken their toll. The war against masculinity has been won. Everything has turned into its opposite, so that what was once flirting and smoking is now sexual harassment and criminal. And everyone is more lonely and miserable as a result.

Wow. Everytime I learn one of the actors I like turns out to be a right-wing crazy person it makes me question why I like them. Then I remember acting doesn't have to have anything to do with your polictics. So I can like the characters they play and the way they are played, but dislike their views otherwise.

Crazy. The comments are fun there too.

Battlestar Galactica - Wait, What?

************** SPOILERS - SPOILERS - SPOILERS ****************













This is why I should finish watching an entire episode before writing a post. So, one-eye's deceased wife is the 5th. Seriously? Who even gives a crap about her? He killed her off seasons ago. What is the deal with Starbuck then?

Huh.

Battlestar Galactica - Through the Looking Glass

*********** SPOILERS - SPOILERS - SPOILERS *************













Ok, so let me get this straight. Starbuck is the 5th. Earth was nuked 2000 years ago. The 13th tribe was a tribe of cylons that populated Earth, thus implying that all of us are Cylons (which is pretty cool, if that's what they implied). Black chick with blue eyes blows her head off - apparently because she found a game of jacks on Earth - after a good night with Lee (totally didn't see that coming), so now he is fucked. Edward James Olmos can't play a drunk crazy person worth shit but Adama's character's decent into crazyville along with Roslin and apparently the entire fleet is pretty cool. And tiny tim is hopping around looking like a sad puppy dog left out in the rain with no purpose in life and questions that nobody can answer.

What the hell?

Burned In My Brain

Ok, this is what will go through my head everytime something says something dramatic for now on. So if I start laughing, you'll know why.

Let's Go To DC Sunday!

I'm staying the hell away from the fuster cluck that will be DC on Tuesday, but this is on Sunday evening and I'm so going. Thinking about trying to get down into DC around 5 pm to eat dinner and find parking. Anyone want to join me?

R

Dinner in Paris

If I ever get my ass over to Paris, I won't to go over to this dudes house. Stupid Paris. Why can't he do it in the States?

Jim Haynes

Introspection - Stream of Consciousness

I set here writing this while listening to Sarah McLachlan (thus the previous song post) and find myself in a really strange mood. I haven't done one of these stream of consciousness posts in a while so lets see where this one goes.

On New Year's day I started to think about what 2009 would be like, to get a gut feel for it. Usually when I do this I get some general idea for what is coming down the pike, who knows why, and I don't really care how. The last few years I've felt positive about and they have been positive. Is it the feeling that makes the year or something else? Again, I really don't care. This year, though, I feel like a dark cloud is around the corner. I don't get the same excited anticipation I have in the past. This year it feels like everything will just cancel out. Good and bad. And throw away year. At the same time I feel like there is a choice coming that will set the course for the rest of the year. If I choose wrong, it'll be that throw away year with a bunch of pain and suffering along with a bunch of good stuff. If I choose right, it'll be pretty smooth sailing. I have no idea what or when that choice is but I do feel like it is soon. Will it be a health crisis? Financial? Maybe not even mine directly but someone I know? Could it be emotional? Is this the year it all comes crashing down or when I loose control? What is this gnawing feeling in my gut that comes and goes. I don't know. Maybe just stress from the before-mentioned project and class.

I find myself wanted to get away, wanting to change. Well, I did. Two days ago I was having a really hard time. My stress was at an all time high. I had been staying up until 5 am every night for over a week working on this thing. I had changed when I take my meds to before bedtime to see if that would help with sleep (it did). It also gave me really vivid dreams. But late Wednesday night I dealt with something I haven't dealt with in over 10 years...an almost full blown anxiety attack. It didn't get there but I had some really dark thoughts and violent feelings going through me. It was really scary. It was the first time in, I don't even know how long that I honestly thought I was nearing the edge of a steep cliff. Is that how people feel before they have a breakdown? They just take that step over the edge and down they go? I don't know but I never want to be there again. I got the hell out of the house on Thursday and this evening and I'm not letting myself get to that point of stress again. I mean, what was the point? What was driving me to knock this stupid project out that I am going to end up loosing potential cash on? I still made time to hang out with friends here and there but I was cutting it short to get back to work. I NEVER do that. I've always felt that a healthy social life was more important than any slavish plodding along at work. Christ, I'm trying to get out of this field all together. I think. Am I? I don't even know. Sometimes it is fun developing because I'm good at it and it does satisfy some of my needs. But it doesn't give me that deep lasting feeling I crave. Like I'm really making a difference. Who am I making a difference for? Some guy that wants to rent apartments out? Wow, that is some world changing shit right there. Pointless.

Lest anyone gets concerned, let me put your mind at ease. I am doing well. I've certainly been in lower lows and I don't know that I would even call whatever this is a low. It is just a transition. Things are changing and sometimes I struggle to let it happen and to accept it. I think I adapt very well to new situations but that doesn't mean I embrace it. I have been having trouble believing that there is a Harry for every Sally on some days. On other days I'm sure of it. Lately I have been lonely but I'm ok with it, mostly. I couldn't have said that a few months ago. Being ok with being lonely, sad or angry is a good thing. Embracing those emotions and just sitting with them, not pushing them away, is the way to go. It is hard, but it makes a difference.

Jeez, no on is going to ready this thing. I'm certainly not going to reread it tonight. That defeats the purpose. A friend mentioned a question that was posed to him a couple of nights ago by someone. The question was: What was the last thing you regretted? Regret. Do I honestly regret anything? I don't mean the 'opps, that was stupid' sort of regret or the 'i didn't mean to hurt you type'. I mean the bone numbing, life changing, can-drive-you-to-the-edge-if-you-obsess-over-it sort of regret. I don't know that I do. There are decisions that, given the choice, I would do over but I don't know that I regret them. I've caused pain to others and I feel like shit about it. I've done things that have caused pain and hardship to me and only me as well. Would I do it differently? Fuck yes. Could I have done it differently? I doubt it. You are who you are when you make decisions. All of the things that go into that choice - hope, fear, passion, logic - are unique to that moment in time. Would you make the same choice now if knew then what you know now? Probably not. Its the same deal with looking forward. Does it make sense to plan? Absolutely. Does it make sense to stay strictly within that plan? I don't think so, at least not for me. I rather have a general idea, a target, to aim for with the understanding that that target can change in a heart beat. Facts on the ground and all that crap.

Blah, I'm going places that aren't useful to me, but it is stuff on my mind. I read that this guy tried to commit suicide by lighting himself on fire in front of a bunch of people. Shortly after he lit himself up he had a change of heart and threw himself on the ground and rolled around to extinguish the flame. Unfortunately, he rolled himself right off a cliff and fell to his death. Can you imagine that? That guy was so desperate he decided to end it. But the moment it was real, that he was really on his way out, he changed his mind. Hope sprung eternal. Then he rolled off a cliff trying to save his life. There is a lesson in that somewhere but I'll be damned if I can figure out what it is.

I think I'm running out of steam here. At least for now. I've had scrubbing bubbles sitting in the shower for the past two hours and I think it is time to go back to battle. If some friends of mine end up somewhere hanging out tonight I might join them. I need companionship, closeness, some form on intimacy, even if it is just close friends. I'm craving it. I'm craving more than that but that will come, eventually.

In the meantime, I'm going to just go with what comes and stay present in the moment. And you know what? Despite it all, despite the stress and the loneliness and mess that is my house and my life I am more happy than not. I am more true to myself than I have ever been and I really feel I am going in the right direction for myself. I have no clue where it'll take me, but isn't that part of the fun?

Where Has Ryan Been

So, other than that little Israel rant you may have noticed all I have really been posting later has been songs and such. I've been in a weird place the past couple of weeks, ever since the week of Christmas really. I've been working on this short-term contract that was due today almost non-stop. I haven't put this much time and energy into a work project in years, almost to the exclusion of everything else. This week I started to get close to a snapping point with all of the loose threads I let dangle in the wind.

When I was back in H-Town I had something of a hard time of it. Memories kept creeping in of good and bad times and they just kept dogging me. I fell back into old habits and dynamics while relating to my mom sometimes and the frustration and anger I used to feel would come rushing back. Other times I would fall into a funk thinking about times and people past. It was a roller coaster of emotions and memories. Now, it isn't like it was all bad. I enjoyed the time with my family and was able to spend time with old friends I haven't seen in a while. There was some strain sometimes even then, but it was ok. I guess you really can never go back. There is another one I didn't really understand until now.

With this project I found myself not knocking out my homework. Fantastic. So now I have a five page paper and a two page paper due by Sunday in which I have starter neither. On top of that, I kept forgetting to order my books for the class that starts on Monday. I finally was able to do it today and it cost me $75 to ship them so I receive them in time. $75! Fascists.

Get this, though. I cleaned my bathroom. I know, big deal, right? But it is! Scrubbing bubbles are amazing! It still has aways to go but good god can cleaning be theraputic. Why didn't someone tell me this before! I can have a lean house, beat CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome), and feel good all at once! Love it.

Introspection coming next.

"Possession"

"Possession" - Sarah McLachlan

Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
the night is my companion, and solitude my guide
would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?

and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear

Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear

Into this night I wander
it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread

oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied

and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes

Israel

So Israeli mortars hit near a school today and killed some 30 people.

Can someone please explain to me how their heavy-handed approach isn't much much worse than the rockets being launched into Israel from Gaza? Last I looked the death toll difference between the two is HUGE. How in the hell is this a rational response?

The US needs to play a more neutral and even-handed role in negotiations in the future, please.

"candlelight"

NOTE: This is the post I referred to awhile back. I had initially posted it about a week ago but it kept the original date/time I wrote it so you probably didn't see it. So here it is.

I came across a movie tonight that was on the TV and watched it. Definately a chick flick but I was in that sorta mood I guess. Anyway, at different points in the movie the main character narrates a poem. There was one in particular that really tugged at me and I decided to post it here.

The movie is called "Fall".

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
candlelight.
steel blue-grey clouds over small lights.
sweet balance and snowflakes on the steps waiting,
like me,
for you to fall.

if only you were able to move…
to go, to fly, to fall.

i know how deep your smile,
how hard your love,
how far your longing,
how wild your pleasure…
if you were able to fall.

to see you there then would tickle me crazy.
to see you there in the embrace of that fall.
but i already know that view…
you have that smile.

your eyes for another bring that…
that love, that joy, that fall…

therefore i hum,
i sigh,
i giggle,
i kiss,
i smile,
i know,
i bow,
i go…

having had the joy,
having had the very joy i’ve ever desired for you,
only for you,
and your fall…
…for him.

"Fades Away"

"Fades Away" -Gary Hoey

NOTE: Gotta select the right song from the list on MySpace.

You don't miss me when I'm gone
I didn't notice that you changed your hair
You don't look at me when we make love
I try to act like I just don't care

All the little things that used to make us laugh
Had turned to gray like a faded photograph
How do we find a love that lasts to the end of time?

When love fades away I want you to know
I'm not gone away
When love fades away I need you to know
I'll be here to stay
When love fades away

Infatuation is gone
Love ain't greener on the other side
Let's find a love that makes us strong
I came back here to swallow my pride

All the little things that used to make us cry
Have turned to stone and left us here to die
How do we find a love that was yours and mine?

When love fades away I want you to know
I'm not gone away
When love fades away I need you to know
I'll be here to stay
When love fades away

When love fades away I want you to know
I'm not gone away
When love fades away I need you to know
I'll be here to stay
When love fades away

When love fades away I need you to know
I'll be here to stay
When love fades away

Best Thing Ever

Besides the fact that an old white guy is singing the lyrics to Shaft is that the first cut scene to the audience is to the only black guy in the room. Oh, and that the entire thing is performed on the Ukulele.

Just Woke Up

It is 5 pm or so. I just woke up.

Great. Now my sleep schedule is upside-down like my mortgage.

2008 In Review

This one will be brief.

2008 for me was a rewarding year. I had a great relationship that taught me alot and showed me what a healthy relationship could look like. I learned to sail. I decided to start taking steps to switch careers. And I finally started to let go of some of my past and start to move on.

I end the year in a period of transition that I don't see ending anytime soon. I'm craving challenges to my views and willing to examine everything at this point in my life. It is all new and exciting! So many possibilities. I just want to learn everything I can about whatever I can. Like a sponge.

My one big goal I set for myself this year wasn't met to the letter but the spirit of it was met. That goal was to bareboat charter in BVI by the end-of-the-year. Well, I have the experience and certification necessary to do it, now it is just a matter of logistics and money. So the spirit of that goal, to learn and become qualified to bareboat sail, was certainly met. And anyone that knows me can attest how much of a pain in the ass I have been about wanting to go sailing more. I'm pretty confident BVI will happen in 2009.

Out with 2008, in with 2009.

Let the adventure continue.

Shades of Friendship

Friendship is a fantastic thing. However, I think the word 'friendship' is used in too broad of a fashion. All friendships are not created equal and I think sometimes it is a disservice to refer to them all in the same way. Labels, I feel, tend to box you in to a certain form of behavior that isn't always applicable, at least not fully. It isn't that I think labels aren't useful. It is that I believe we are often in a rush to slap one on even though the reality of the situation doesn't fit the label. Then I think you can end up in a situation where instead of dealing the 'facts on the ground' you are too busy trying to make it fit the label.

So using friendship as an example. Since the rumor mill is churning like sharks to chum in the water, I'll just feed it a little more. I don't think you can have the same sort of friendship you had with someone you dated as you can with someone you never had a romantic interest in, regardless of how close you are. So are these people friends or something more than a friend? Maybe not more, but certainly different. What I find is that as soon as you apply the 'friend' label to such a relationship I end up spending more time trying to figure out how to be friends in a relationship that isn't the same as other friendships, instead of just experiencing the relationship for what it is. Why label it? Just enjoy it. Let the behavior and interaction between you define the relationship, not the label.

This really fits with my CFZ post below. What it really comes down to for me right now is a rejection of allowing myself to be boxed in by external factors. Labels are probably the main way that happens. To me it is silly to have to fight what a label means rather than just allowing a relationship - or whatever really - to go where it wants to go.

CFZ, biatches!

Vanishing Recycling

I put my recycling box out last night. Usually it goes out on Wednesday nights but with New Year's and such they moved it up a night.

It was extremely windy last night and this morning.

I can not find my recycling box anywhere.

I weep for the planet.

Consequences Free Zone

I sent the following Twitter out this evening while at dinner:

Single people, hear me! We are in a 'consequences free area'. Live it up people!

This was pushed to my Facebook page as well. Yes, I changed 'area' to 'zone'...it sounds better. Anyway, I was immediately asked wtf I was talking about and comments about there 'always being consequences' and such. Obviously, an explanation is in order. Or maybe not, but I'll try to explain anyway.

What I mean by a Consequences Free Zone (CFZ) is simply that I think we get too tied up in the day-to-day, in our own fears, and in the prejudices that are forced upon us to really be able to let loose and experience life. Remember you are single. You are not beholden to anyone but yourself. You don't owe anyone any explanation but yourself. It's a CFZ people!

And no, I'm not advocating a totally care-free life. You still have to be smart about the choices you make. When you look at a possible consequence, where is it coming from? Is it something that affects you directly or not? Is it from something that is an external societal norm BS or is it internal to you? We so often get tied up in other people's crap that has no bearing on us and it makes us pull back from who we really are.

I think we get dragged down into always doing the responsible thing too often instead of doing the enjoyable thing, the healthy thing. Not that responsibility is something that should be dismissed nor should there be no limits. I am arguing that we go too far to the one side and put boxes around us that aren't necessary. Those boxes aren't healthy. Who are they helping? What is the purpose? The world is your oyster, so grab the damn thing already!

Live it up!

Stay

I just saw the movie Stay again. I had seen it in the theater when it came out in 2005 for some reason.

Man is it a good movie, but what a mind fuck...to put it gently.

Sailing in February!

So, my peeps, anyone want to go sailing in February? There are a couple of choices here and I'm not married to any of them.

When. The days I am thinking of right now would be to head out after work on Thursday, February 12th and return the evening of Monday the 16th. This way we could get three full days of sailing in and part of a 4th with enough time for travel, etc. We could shave a day off of this if we have to but let's try not to.

Destination. Two choices here and it is mostly going to come down to cost I think. The first choice is to sail out of Tampa Bay, Florida. Nonstop flights right now for those days are going for $250/person round trip. The flight is about 2.5 hours long.

The second destination choice is cheaper because it is closer. It'll be cooler (lower 70's it seems) but it sounds like a fun place to sail. This destination is Oriental, North Carolina. I figure we can all load into a car or two and drive down after work. From Ashburn its about a 7 hour drive. I'm more than willing to do the driving.

Boat. I'll base these numbers on the available North Carolina boats since the options there are limited. We basically can do either 4 or 6 people depending on the boat. With 4 peeps we would do a boat closer to 31' while with 6 it would be a 41' boat. The price comes in around $350/person either way.

So, in summary, for about $350 bucks you can go sailing in North Carolina for four days in the middle of February or, for $600 in Tampa Bay.

Anyone interested? This'll be coming in an email too.

"Carve Away The Stone"

"Carve Away The Stone" - Rush

You can roll that stone
To the top of the hill
Drag your ball and chain behind you

You can carry that weight
With an iron will
Or let the pain remain behind you

Chip away the stone
(Sisyphus)
Chip away the stone
Make the burden lighter
If you must roll that rock alone

You can drive those wheels
To the end of the road
You will still find the past right behind you
Try to deny
The weight of the load
Try to put the sins of the past night behind you

Carve away the stone
(Sisyhpus)
Carve away the stone
Make a graven image
With some features of your own

You call roll the stone
To the top of the hill
You can carry that weight
With an iron will
You can drive those wheels
To the end of the road
You can try to deny
The weight of the load

Roll away the stone
(Sisyhpus)
Roll away the stone
If you could just move yours
I could get working on my own

To Post or Not To Post

I wrote a post. It is pretty short. It contains a poem I came across in a movie. The poem is very topical to me and meant a lot. It has been relevant at different times in my life and probably will be in the future as well, unfortunately.

In any case, I don't know if I want to post it or not.

I hate self-censorship. I keep preaching about enlightened self-interest and knowing where your shit ends and someone else's begins but here I am struggling with it again. It's probably for the best.

Boo.

Bwahahahahaha

Fun!

Mistakes That Killed The Economy

This article is a very good read about what mis-steps led up to where we are now going back to Reagan. It does a swell job of showing that it was several mistakes over 20 years or so that brought it all crashing down.

Here are a couple of quotes:

There will come a moment when the most urgent threats posed by the credit crisis have eased and the larger task before us will be to chart a direction for the economic steps ahead. This will be a dangerous moment. Behind the debates over future policy is a debate over history—a debate over the causes of our current situation. The battle for the past will determine the battle for the present. So it’s crucial to get the history straight.

So true. It isn't 'blame gaming' but trying to understand what happened in the past to prevent it from re-occurring.

If you appoint an anti-regulator as your enforcer, you know what kind of enforcement you’ll get.

Why is this so hard to understand? You stick people who don't believe in government in charge of government and you are going to get a really badly run government. Not rocket science.

All in all, it just goes to the anti-regulation stuff I've been bitching about again.

Frodo!

For you Lord of the Rings fans:



The rap part towards the end is my favorite.

"Bowie's in Space"

For you David Bowie fans (or haters, really) out there...

Prop 8: The Musical

Here is a three-minute musical about Proposition 8 in California. Its really funny and stars people like Jack Black, some SNL cast members, the blonde gal from Scrubs and...NPH! Now we know what he'd do.

"Big Balls"

This goes out to the peeps at Jude's house last night. Since the conversation kept coming back to balls. Anyone want to go to a ball?

"Big Balls" - AC/DC

Well I'm upper upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
They're such big balls
And they're dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

I've got big balls
Oh I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

We've got big balls
We've got big balls
We've got big balls
Dirty big balls
He's got big balls
She's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

(We've got big balls)
(We've got big balls)

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

(Ball sucker)
(Ball sucker)
(Ball sucker)
(Ball sucker)

Motivation!

Because we all need some motivation.

Caffeine

I normally stay away from caffeine. No coffee for me. I only take Excedrin if I don't expect to sleep anytime soon. Tea is ok for some reason.

In any case, if I have too much it gets my heart all out-of-whack because of mitral valve prolapse (MVP).

However! I popped an Excedrin this morning because I had a headache and has some tea. I did it knowing full well that the results were going to be. You see, I have this short-term contract I need to bang out and today is 'work on the contract' day so I figured a little caffeine will get me over the hump.

Here is what I learn everytime I do this. Giving caffeine to someone with ADD makes for a very production but crazy-ass day. I haven't been this productive and scattered in a while. It's nuts. I am IMing and texting everyone I know because I want to chat while reading blogs on one screen and working in code and a database on the other. Not to mention I have music playing AND the TV is on. Oh, and I keep going into the kitchen to cook stuff.

I am so in for a crash later today.

I imagine more posts will happen too.

Turnout - Part 2

I posted a couple of weeks ago now something about turned out percentage being historical. A friend of mine pointed out that the population also increased, etc. Which is right.

However! Votes are still being counted and the margin keeps increasing. It now looks like turnout increased some 100% over population increase between 2000 and 2008. To wit:

Despite losing by over 7.00%, McCain actually didn't perform that badly. For example, he actually received more votes than John Kerry, and will probably pass the 60,000,000 threshold. In this light, Obama succeeded by pulling off the holy grail of Democratic election strategies: turning out huge numbers of unlikely voters. When the final totals are made, there will have been 26 million more votes in 2008 than 2000. That increase is in excess of 100% of the nation's population increase during the last eight years. Overall, more than 131 million people voted, or 61.6% of the voting eligible population. All in all, probably about 63% of the voting eligible population attempted to vote, considering spoiled ballots. That is the highest voter turnout since the voting age was lowered to 18.

Here is more.

"Skepticism is the beginning of faith"

What does that mean?

I'm looking specifically at those of you of faith....chrissy, jesse, becky, jim....

Recession!

So much for all that crap people were spewing earlier in the year about how we aren't technically in a recession and how the fundamentals of our economy are strong.

Apparently, we have officially been in a recession since December of 2007. That makes this bad boy 12 months long already and is probably on track to break the record of 16 months since WWII.

Everyone is getting cards from me this year.

My First Assignment!

Oh how exciting! ;)

Being distant learning, all the communication is done on message boards. So, the first thing is to introduce myself. I figured I'd post what I wrote here too. Don't worry, I won't be posting all my assignments here...just stuff I find interesting and want to keep around.

Here it is:
I am Ryan Kautz and live in Ashburn, VA which is about 20 miles west of Washington, DC.

My first attempt at college for a Computer Science degree at the University of Marylan in the mid-90s met with an unfortunate end (I dropped out). I went on to have a pretty successful software development career as an independent consultant. However, as the time went on I began to notice a growing void in myself that led me to want to do something that was more personally rewarding other than help other people make money. Through a variety of experiences I decided to go for a Psychology degree and open up a private practice as either a Mental Health Consultant or Psychologist. Luckily, I managed to accomplish enough in my first college attempt to fill the general education requirements here so I can basically focus on just the Psychology courses.

I live at home with a cat but have recently become certified to skipper up to 50' sailboats and just can't wait until the Spring comes again. I keep considering selling my house and living on a boat for a year or so but I don't think cats take to water all that well.

Anyway, I am looking forward to the class and learning from everyone.

The Continuing Adventures of Mr. Kautz

When I dropped out of college 11 or so years ago I did it for a variety of reasons. Among them was a severe lack of interest in the classes. I am, by most anyones definition, a 'non-traditional' student. So the class part of college and me didn't fit. Everything else fit just fine, thank you very much.

Over the years since I've had a moderately successful career as a software developer. Probably half of that time I've been an independent consultant and that fits my style very well. However, and I'm not sure when this happened, whenever I think about what I want to do when I grow up software development is not it. It just isn't rewarding for my soul. I've had this growing, gnawing emptiness and I think it is time to start addressing that.

I have known for a long time that if I went back to college it wouldn't be for Comp Sci. Well, I am going back to college starting December 1st and it will be for a B.S. in Psychology. The school, Walden University, started in the 70's and is solely a distance learning school. They started with PhDs then started to offer Masters and now do undergrad as well. They are accredited, which is good. And they cater to non-traditional students (such as me) and working adults. Every course is 5 credits and is taken over a 6 week period, two classes back-to-back per quarter, 8 classes (40 credits) a year.

The format is asynchronous, meaning you basically get a deadline and a task and off you go. Discussions take place on a meeting board and lectures, etc are podcastish. Apparently this format has been pretty successful and it is right up my alley as far as how I work well. Six weeks is a pretty short time to squeeze five credits of material so I expect it to be pretty intense.

Luckily, a significant amount of class work transferred over and I am just two years away. 16 courses. And only one of which needs to be general education stuff, everything else is focused on my course of study.

As far as future plans go, I have two goals. First, to be able to be certified in a technique called EMDR (whole other topic). And second, to be able to start a private practice. In order to meet those goals, I need to have (or be working towards) my Masters. At this point I don't care about practicing as a Psychologist. A certification as a Mental Health Counselor will suite me just fine and it will be an easier path to follow.

So, maybe, I'll be able to totally switch careers in three or four years.

Crazy.

Woman in Chains

"Woman in Chains" - Tears for Fears

You better love loving and you better behave
You better love loving and you better behave
Woman in chains, woman in chains

Calls her man the great white hope
Says she's fine, she'll always cope, ooh
Woman in chains, woman in chains

Well, I feel lying and waiting is a poor man's deal (A poor man's deal)
And I feel hopelessly weighed down by your eyes of steel
(Your eyes of steel)
Well, It's a world gone crazy keeps woman in chains, woh woh woh
Woman in chains, woman in chains

Trades her soul as skin and bones
(You better love loving and you better behave)
Sells the only thing she owns
(You better love loving and you better behave) ooh ooh
Woman in chains (the sun and the moon), woman in chains

Men of stone, men of stone, hey baby, no no no, ooh

Well, I feel deep in your heart there are wounds time can't heal
(The time can't heal)
And I feel somebody somewhere is trying to breathe
Well, you know what I mean
It's a world gone crazy keeps woman in chains

It's under my skin but out of my hands
I'll tear it apart (somebody somewhere is trying)
But I won't understand (to breathe)
I will not accept the greatness of man
It's a world gone crazy keeps woman in chains
Gone crazy keeps woman in chains

So free her, so free her, so free her
So free her, so free her (the sun and the moon)
So free (the wind and the rain) her, so free her
So free her, so free her, so free her, so free her
So free her, so free her (the sun and the moon)
So free (the wind and the rain) her, so free her

Religion != Moral Values

So I keep hearing this when I get into discussion about religion, that religion teaches good values with the implication that without religion, people would be amoral. This has always been something I disagreed with based on personal experience. I am agnostic but have atheist friends. I would not consider any of them amoral. So where do they learn right vs wrong? I've always maintained it is culture, not religion, that teaches morals.

Anyway, I came across this article about religion and 'goodness'. Within the article it talks about surveys of democracies that have a low rate of religiosity. Guess what? They tend to be lower in violent crimes and abortion/teen pregnancy than us over here.

Funny that.

Of course, correlation doesn't equal causation but it is an interesting twist to consider.

And Now, Something Completely Different

This has always been one of my favorite parts:

Dehydration

Anyone else get more dehydrated in the winter than in the summer? I think it is because I drink a lot less fluids when it gets cold out.

Sucks.

Make It Stop

Now they are comparing her to Reagan. I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, I think it would be AWESOME if the Repubs following the Palin wing of the party and allow themselves to be ruled by the crazies. On the other hand, please make it go away. Can't they shoot themselves in private?

6 Sex Myths Explained by SCIENCE

Good read. Some of the results are interesting, particularly the one about the car.

Good Write Up On Cause Of Economy Mess

This is a very good write up on the economy mess and the purpose of the bailout. It talks about how the subprime mess started it but how it really became bad because of the credit default swaps, which is the actual rot at the core of this apple.

Best Game Ever

Super Mario World!

Check out the Bridge to Nowhere in the first level.

That's Level Completion We Can Believe In!

Good times.

Get Your War On

I posted a link to these people with a comic strip not to long ago.

Fuck

Why is this such a big deal? So he slipped up and said fuck on the air, wah. Look at their faces? Like they are all virgins and he did the most horrible thing evah!

Sad. Grow up people. Focus on the important stuff and leave the virginal attitudes back in grade school where you lost it.

More here.

Yes We Can

"Yes We Can" - will.i.am

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant ........... We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --

Yes. We. Can.

Tears, dude.

Tears.

BarackAsPresident

PalinAsPresident.us has changed, now that Barack has won.

I like the song.

Here are some photos of people to look at while you listen to the song.

Turnout!

Turnout was a record 130 million, shattering the 122.3 million record from 2004.

And, the ballots aren't finished being counted yet, so that number will just increase.

Nice.

Just Keep This In Mind As Results Come In

And this: Super Barack!

Stay In Line - Make Sure You Vote

Check out this very entertaining video about voter surpression and then prepare to do battle. Who knows what the lines are going to be like but somewhere, probably a lot of places, there will be longer waits than there has in the past.

Stay in line. Do what you have to. Just vote.

Protect Your Vote

A video courtesy of Obamarama on what to look for and how to protect your vote.